Deliberately thinking about love has trained me to have different responses to some situations in life. Here are a few ways that my life has recently been shaped by my new awareness of love:
- I was trying to get home after an appointment last week in time to watch a TV show. I'd gotten lost and was later than I expected to be. I was hurrying and trying to make it home on time, but I realized that I was driving aggressively when I found myself yelling at a driver who was going under the speed limit. "It's not worth it," I said to myself. "It's more important for me to be a safe and courteous driver than to satisfy some scheduling whim." So I slowed down and took my time going home, and I gave up on getting home at a specific time.
- A few days ago, I got irritated with someone for failing to meet an expectation I had. Just as I was starting to get really annoyed, however, I remembered how much I love that person, and the irritation just evaporated. I realized that this problem really wasn't a big deal.
- I was trying to find a parking spot behind the building where I work. I found a really excellent one right by the door, but I needed to turn around at the top of the lot in order to get it. As I was turning around, another car appeared from the other direction. He was waiting to see if I was going to take the spot, but I decided to wave him around and let him have it.
- When I go walking on the sidewalk, I try to make a conscious effort to look up and smile at the people I pass. I didn't always pay as much attention to them before. Whenever I go through a door I try to notice whether someone else is behind me so I can hold the door for that person.
- Someone at work approached me with an issue that really was not my problem. I felt the urge to blow that person off, but then I thought, if I can help, shouldn't I? It doesn't really hurt me to go out of my way to help with something that isn't technically my responsibility.
- I try really hard not to get snippy with my husband, but when I do, these days I usually notice and I almost always apologize very soon afterward. Then I make sure to tell him how much I love and appreciate him so that he realizes my behavior was just an isolated incident and not a sign that I'm unhappy in our relationship. Since I've been paying more attention to how I behave towards him, our bond has felt closer and more comfortable than ever.
A friend recently asked me what advice I would give to new Christians about how to make use of the power of love in their lives. This is how I answered:
Think about the kind of person you want to be. Think about it all the time. Pray about it. See what Scripture can teach you about it. The more you think about it, the more your actions will conform to your thoughts. At least, that's been my experience so far (not that I'm an expert, of course). I would add that thinking about things honestly doesn't mean beating yourself up for your mistakes. I have to be able to admit when I did something that wasn't ideal, but then I should use that knowledge to figure out how to move forward, not to punish myself. I'm frequently very aware of my shortcomings, but as long as I don't despair because of them that can be a big blessing. When I recognize them, my mistakes help me learn and grow.
I try to deliberately think about love every day, and I believe that those efforts are changing my life. I encourage you to give it a try yourself.
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