Making It

A few nights ago, I was chatting with a friend at a social function. We ended up discussing some of the financial pressures that we 20-somethings face: paying off undergrad loans, housing payments, and grad school expenses. Sometimes it can be really hard at the beginning, when we start out under such a huge pile of debt. "Sometimes I kind of wish I could miraculously figure out how to win the lottery," he said. I smiled, because the same thought has crossed my mind many times. I even buy Powerball tickets every now and then. "Me too," I replied, "but I don't think God will make it that easy for me."

I can tell you right now what I would do if I won some crazy mega-millions jackpot tomorrow. I would pay off my house instead of selling it, pay off my car, and pay off all of our student loans, including my husband's pile of grad school debt. I would pay for some much-needed repairs on my mom's house and give my sister the money for a bigger place. Then I'd give money to pay off my church's mortgage on our fellowship hall addition and give a big chunk of money to my alma mater towards their Arts Union building project (and maybe later for a new music building). I'd set up a foundation to help me share my money with worthy charities. Then—let's face it—I'd probably spend plenty on myself. I'd go visit my Dad in China. In fact, I'd travel all kinds of places all over the world. I'd see more operas, plays, and concerts and eat more high-end cuisine. I'd quit my job so I could write full-time, and I'd throw time and money after learning new skills and enjoying more hobbies.

What I have described above is a bit of a fairy tale, and I don't really think that God put me on this Earth to live a charmed life. That's what Heaven is for. Here, I'm supposed to learn things, to grow, and to develop a stronger Christian character. Hardships are to be expected—they are the fire that will refine me. God is blessing my life, but He's giving me blessings that help me persevere and become a better person in the process, not blessings that allow me to coast through without trying very hard. Sometimes, like my friend, I really do want God to just give me an easy way out of this mess, but I know He has good reasons for withholding that kind of divine intervention.

I told my friend that I expected I might never actually get ahead, but as long as I'm making it, everything's fine. No, I don't have a big nest egg saved up for the rainy days ahead, but I am paying all my bills on time and leading a reasonably comfortable life. Things aren't always easy, but I don't really have too much to complain about. The future is scary sometimes, but in the present I'm making it, and I consider that to be nothing less than a gift from God.