Be Prepared

When it comes to socializing or leisure time, I don't mind flying by the seat of my pants. When it comes to important and serious parts of my life, however, I like to have a plan. It doesn't have to be an exhaustive plan or a far-reaching plan or a rigid plan. I'm OK with flexibility, and I'm willing to change my plan when circumstances change. But I like to feel like I have at least some handle on what's going on, that I have a strategy that will help me succeed. I like to feel prepared.

Some people might say that I'm fooling myself with all this planning. I don't have any control over most of what happens in this world or even in my life. I don't know whether my house will be burglarized, whether someone will steal my identity, whether someone I love will die in an accident, even whether I myself will wake up tomorrow. I don't know how to put enough money away to provide for my family's future. I'm not even quite sure how this year's finances are going to turn out—there are so many variables. To a planner, all of this may seem a bit depressing. Am I really just throwing myself into the arms of fate and hoping against hope that everything will turn out OK?

Yes and no.

While it is true that I can try to take certain precautions, I can never be completely prepared for any eventuality. I could spend hours worrying myself sick about the weaknesses in my financial portfolio or the gaps in my education. Or I could call to mind some soothing words of Jesus: "I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? . . . Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:25–27, 34) 


After all, didn't Jesus send his disciples out with no provisions at all? "Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. Wear sandals but not an extra shirt." (Mark 6:8–9) Yet, is it fair to say that Jesus sent out his disciples unprepared? Were the ready for this incredible journey? Yes and no. They certainly didn't have a detailed plan for any eventuality, but they had an overarching faith that guided them. They were prepared in a more general sort of way, and all of us can emulate their example.


So all plans, logistics, finances, and random chance aside, I can feel confident knowing that there are certain things I can do to be prepared for anything:

• Read the Bible. Any time I find myself in a huge dilemma or embroiled in a big problem, chances are that I can find something in Scripture that can help me figure out what to do. In fact, I should read the Bible over and over, even when I'm not in trouble. The more I read it and think about it, the easier it will be for me to use it when I really need it. 
• Pray. I find that it's a good idea to ask God's opinion when there are difficult decisions to be made. I may not always get a straight answer, but listening for God helps me to feel calmer, reminds me that He's in charge instead of me. And sometimes inspiration does come.
• Build a living support system. No matter what happens to me—good or bad—I'm going to need family and friends. Their advice will help me make both big and small decisions, and their support will help me through everyday and crazy experiences. I should dedicate a significant portion of my energy to nurturing a wide variety of relationships. As we help each other, the road will become easier for all of us.
• Embrace love. No matter what happens, love is real and it is a fuel unlike any other. Knowing that I am loved convinces me to trust when I would rather panic, pushes me to keep trying when I would rather give up. God loves me, and so do my family and friends. Even when my loved ones can't offer the tangible support I may want, their love means that I am never alone. There is no problem too big for God, and there is nothing that can stop me from being with Him in the end.

I don't have to make the decisions all by myself. I don't have to create a plan for every contingency. God is my navigator and my family and friends are my co-pilots and my supporters. It may get sloppy sometimes, but I know that in the end I'm going to get where I wanted to go. Sometimes I may have to wing it, but my life is in the hands of a higher power who is much kinder than random chance. 

The truth is that as long as I have God, the love and teachings of Jesus Christ, and my loved ones, I will always be prepared.

Blessed Are You

Yesterday was kind of a rough day for me. Things were really stressful at work, and I felt overwhelmed. I thought to myself, where is the light at the end of the tunnel? When will things get easier? I was feeling frustrated and sad and helpless. It didn't seem fair that all my hard work wasn't enough.

I forced myself to take a break and go to the noon Bible study at my church, where we gather once a week to look at the readings for the coming Sunday's service. When I saw that the gospel text was the Beatitudes, I thought to myself, "That's nice—it's a lovely reading." But then as a woman sitting nearby began to read the passage, my eyes teared up. It felt as if God had sent those words especially to me, knowing I would need them on this trying day.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  
Blessed are those who mourn,  for they will be comforted.  
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.  
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.  
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.  
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.  
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.  
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. (Matthew 5:3–12)

How many times have I felt weak, sad, timid, sorrowful? How many times have I tried to find peace or yearned for goodness to return to the Earth? A time or two I have even felt persecuted for my faith. But at all of those times, I was blessed. Yesterday, when I felt like everything was coming apart and there was nothing I could do about it, I was blessed. I am blessed even today, as I write this late post that should have been ready yesterday. The fact is that I am blessed every day, and when the going gets tough, that's really important.

Being blessed makes a difference. When things are bad, the fact that I am blessed gives me hope that someday they will get better, that today while I suffer I will not suffer alone. Being blessed means I am receiving grace and strength that help me to better weather the storms of life and to work to make things better for everyone else who is stuck in the storm with me. Being blessed means tempering sorrow with love, weakening oppression with hope, defining suffering as temporary. 

There may be times when by worldly standards I'm pretty much screwed. I may find myself in any number of hopeless situations, trapped with no escape. But if those moments come, I will also be blessed, and that means I will have hope when things look hopeless and joy when I'm in pain. Things won't be quite so bad, and I will know that someday they be even better. Look at the promises in the Beatitudes. Those are big. They're beautiful. They're real.

I am blessed, and so are you.

Forgiveness and Logical Consequence

A few months ago, I wrote a few short pieces for an article in my college's alumni magazine entitled "Life 101". The article was full of advice from alumni about various practical topics. One of the sections I wrote was about how to forgive others, and it was based on my interview with a local Catholic priest. He had lots of great advice, including the short excerpt below:

"Separate forgiveness from justice. Forgiveness shouldn't preclude justice (or vice versa). In the sacrament of confession, sometimes the priest will give a person an act of penance to perform (such as prayers and charitable works or giving); likewise, when we forgive people who commit terrible crimes, those people still have to complete their course of rehabilitation. We have a strong need for justice, but we should be willing to forgive even before justice is rendered."

I also wrote a section about how to survive your children's teenage years, for which I interviewed a wonderful lady who had raised three children and 13 foster children with her husband. Most of the foster children had been abused, so it was important for the home to be a safe place where people talked out their problems without violence and no one got worked up over accidents. She told me about how she and her husband tried not to have a lot of little, picky household rules, instead focusing on a few really important rules. When a rule was broken, there were consequences, but there was also love and forgiveness:

"A lot of families have a family doctor or a family lawyer; we had a family probation officer. He told us that knowing where the kids came from might explain their behavior but couldn't ever excuse it. He taught us the expression logical consequence. When things go badly, kids have to take responsibility for what they've done."

Writing these two pieces gave me some valuable insight into the complicated dynamics of forgiveness. In my own words, here are some of the things I learned:

• It's important to forgive people, even when they make terrible mistakes. Forgiveness frees us from the negative feelings of hurt, anger, betrayal, and outrage that might otherwise consume us. If we wait for justice to forgive but justice never comes, we will be condemned to suffer with the negative feelings that only forgiveness could release.
• Forgiving someone isn't the same thing as letting them off the hook. It doesn't mean that everything's better, that the incident is forgotten, or that consequences are eliminated. When I forgive someone, I think of that person again as someone with both good and bad qualities who sometimes makes bad decisions instead of thinking of him/her only as the person who committed such-and-such terrible act. After forgiveness, there are no more murderers, thieves, adulterers, or backstabbers. There are only people whose pasts include transgressions but whose futures still hold potential promise. Nevertheless, people whose past includes crime may still have prison time in their futures, even if the label "criminal" has disappeared.
• It is always a kindness to forgive someone, but smoothing over incidents and protecting others from logical consequences is not always kind. If we love someone, sometimes the best thing we can do is stand back and let that person learn an important lesson by paying for his/her mistake. If the woman I interviewed had covered up for her foster children when they broke the law, those children might have learned that they could get away with breaking more and more laws, thereby landing themselves into even bigger trouble.
• Logical consequences are not the same thing as punishment. If we are truly forgiving others, then revenge should not be a motive for us. Logical consequences teach lessons, restore order, and protect others—they are not the same thing as punishments intended to cause suffering. 

Even God, who forgives us our sins, does not spare us from all consequences. Our sin does hurt us and others, and forgiveness doesn't undo that pain—it can only transcend it. Forgiveness isn't a free pass that lets us do whatever we want and escape the consequences afterward; it's a treatment for the very real wounds that sin causes. It would, of course, be infinitely better if we didn't sin at all, but in a fallen world where that is impossible, forgiveness is essential to save us all from being destroyed by the damage done by both ourselves and others.

You Are the New Day

The community choir I sing with has started practicing repertoire for a February concert. One of the pieces on the program is "You Are the New Day". This song is a bit of a choir standard in the United States, and although I had heard it performed, I'd never sung it myself. I don't know that I had really stopped to listen to the lyrics before, but right now they speak to me:

(1) I will love you more than me

and more than yesterday

If you can but prove to me

you are the new day

(2) Send the sun in time for dawn

Let the birds all hail the morning

Love of life will urge me say

you are the new day

(3) When I lay me down at night

knowing we must pay

Thoughts occur that this night 

might stay yesterday

(4) Thoughts that we as humans small

could slow worlds and end it all

lie around me where they fall

before the new day

(5) One more day when time is running out

for everyone

Like a breath I knew would come 

I reach for the new day

(6) Hope is my philosophy

Just needs days in which to be

Love of life means hope for me

borne on a new day 

You are the new day

I don't know who wrote this song or the circumstances of its creation. I have no idea whether or not the author was Christian or whether he meant this song to be about faith, hope, or simply gentle optimism. 

To me, it is a song of encouragement that I sing to God, to remind myself of how much I trust Him to put things right. He is the new day, the one who gives me fresh beginnings and heals my broken spirit. Each stanza of this song has something positive to say to me about my relationship with God:

1. I do love God more than I love myself because He is more than I could ever be on my own. He is the author of all my days.
2. God gives me this beautiful world where morning never fails to come. I see all the wonderful things He has made, and that makes me love Him more.
3. I stain each day with sin, but God's grace washes away my transgressions and leaves them in my past, making each new day fresh and new for me.
4. No matter what a horrible mess we humans make of everything, God will put it right. Though we destroy this entire Earth with our sin, there will still be a new day when God creates a new Earth, free from evil.
5. Just when I think I can't make it, God renews my strength. Just when I think that everything is falling apart, God rebuilds my life out of the ashes. When I die and the darkness closes in, God will usher me into a brand new life. There will ALWAYS be a new day, thanks to God.
6. How can despair hold me when I have so many new days to look forward to? God's grace is such a beautiful gift, and hope is its natural byproduct. No matter how dark things may seem, God's goodness and the promise of his mercy overcomes it all. 

The new day is coming. God, my beloved Father, Savior, and Guide is the new day.

Just Keep Swimming

The Disney/Pixar movie Finding Nemo is the story of a fish named Marlin who is searching for his lost son, Nemo. Marlin's journey is desperate and fraught with peril, but he shares it with a friend he meets along the way named Dory. In a humorous reference to real-life fish, Dory is hindered by a very brief short-term memory. She has trouble remembering where she and Marlin are or what they're doing. She's frequently confused, but even in the face of danger, she remains upbeat. Marlin is often hopeless, but Dory is always ready to keep going. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming," she sings to herself.

It's very easy to laugh at Dory, her mindless optimism, and her "Just keep swimming" mantra, but without Dory, Marlin would have failed in his quest to find his son. She spurred him on when he felt that everything was hopeless. She wouldn't quit, and she didn't let Marlin quit either. There were points in the movie when it seemed like they would never find Nemo, but that didn't stop Dory. You could dismiss Dory's buoyant spirit as the product of a limited mind, but I think to do so would be to miss an important lesson.

There are times in my life when I feel like Marlin. I am engaged in a task that seems hopeless, striving against an obstacle that feels too big for me. I am being sabotaged at every turn, pushed and prodded by forces that seem determined to break me. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel or the way out of the valley. I'm just here, with no idea about how to get to a better place. I'm lost or stuck or defeated. Logic suggests my cause is hopeless. But even when all seems lost, I know I will do well to remember Dory and to "just keep swimming".

I remind myself that things often seemed hopeless to the apostles and the prophets. After all, several of them died violent deaths, so for some of them death itself was the only light at the end of the tunnel of their suffering. But that doesn't mean they should have given up. Their work was important even though it was difficult and painful, and their efforts were successful even though they were left unfinished. Sometimes we have tasks that are too big for us to finish alone, but that doesn't make our work meaningless. Sometimes we suffer with no end in sight, but we do have the promise of a happy ending—eventually we will be with God, and we even get glimpses of that joy in our relationship with Him here on Earth. Even now, in the valleys of our struggles, God is with us, sustaining us and offering us grace. No matter how miserable I feel, I know that my life is greater than my suffering, more beautiful than darkness, and worth more than I can appreciate at the time.

When my spirit is broken, I must remind myself that God's love and mercy are real and that joy exists somewhere in the midst of the darkness. When my heart suffers, I must remember that proof of God's love is all around me and that no hardship can tarnish His promises to me. When my mind is cynical and my faith falters, I must find the part deep inside of me that will never forget that God is real and that His love conquers all. God never promised me an easy ride. He didn't even promise that this world would be fair or that if I worked hard enough I would reap the virtues I have sown in this life. Sometimes people will hurt me, and sometimes I will get kicked down and trampled for things that aren't my fault at all. But that is no sign that God has abandoned me or that I should give up. It means that God is strengthening me, giving me whatever I need to persevere, even if it feels like I'm only squeaking by.

I may not be able to see the way out or to imagine the successful completion of the many challenges before me, but everything WILL be all right. As daunting as things may sometimes seem, all I really have to do is just keep swimming. In the end, God will take care of the rest.