Christian Love Lessons

We Are Family

2011-05-31T16:47:00.000-05:00

Today at bible study, we were discussing Jesus' prayer for his disciples in John 17, specifically the line, "Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one." (John 17:11)

What does it mean for us to be one? We talked about the Body of Christ and how Paul called the believers many members of the same body and brothers and sisters in Christ. "Do we have to agree to be one?" asked one person. "How do we know whether someone is part of the Church? How do we know if we're one?"

Christian unity is an important topic for me. I feel that this is the number one way that we can show the rest of the world that we are different in a good way. When we are one, we love each other, we support each other, we look after each others' needs, we respect each others' opinions. I believe that what Jesus was praying for is that we really would be family in the most positive sense of the word. Jesus called himself the Son and prayed to a God he called Father, claiming that he was in the Father and the Father was in him. In the same way, Jesus wants us to be united to each other through him. He wants us to truly be brothers and sisters in Christ.

So here are a few of my thoughts about how the imagery of family can help us understand the concept of oneness through Christ:

You don't get to pick your family. If I become estranged from a family member, I cannot change our biological heritage. That person is my relative whether I acknowledge him or her or not. Likewise, God is the one who is putting together this Christian family, and the fact is that we Christians are brothers and sisters whether we want to be or not. I can no more declare who is and isn't a real brother or sister in Christ any more than I can say my biological sister isn't my sister. It's all up to God. I don't get to choose.
Family members don't always agree. I currently worship at a Lutheran church, so during the course of this Bible study conversation, one of the group members was talking about how Lutherans traditionally group themselves together on the basis of common ideology and theology. Lutherans split from Catholics during the Reformation because they didn't agree on several key points, and the Lutherans have continued to split from each other down through the years as more differences in opinion cropped up. It may be true that I could be uncomfortable having people whose views differ wildly from mine in the center circle of my spiritual circle, but I would be a fool to write off every family member with whom I have a significant disagreement. Others may take different approaches to serving Jesus, but as long as Jesus is our master, we are united in a very real way, whether we like it or not.
You ought to be able to rely on your family. Families are meant to be nurturing, supportive structures that help us grow to be the best and most successful versions of ourselves throughout our lives. Our family members are often the ones who help us when the going gets rough and celebrate with us when times are good. Jesus wants us to work towards having that same personal and supportive relationship with our brothers and sisters in Christ. That is the future that we are working towards—a heavenly family that lives in harmony, centered in Christ.
We are not the head of this family. God is. God calls the shots, and God decides what the family's goals are and who is doing a good job. If anybody gets kicked out of the family, it will be up to God to do the expelling, and if anyone is welcomed into the family, it will be because God invited that person to join. We may have hierarchies on Earth, but in God's family we are all equals, all brothers and sisters in Christ. We are all called to do different tasks, and some of us are called to lead, but none of us has God-given authority to force other family members to do what we want. We should instead appeal to each other with love and humility, recognizing that God has created us as equals.
Harming or forcibly separating your family members should never be done lightly. It is true that sometimes when one family member gets violently out of hand, that person needs to be dealt with for the good and safety of the rest of the family. However, in a healthy family dynamic, no one would ever consider a family member to be disposable or replaceable. We do not engage in personal attacks on cherished loved ones lightly. Instead we try to have reasonable conversations. We talk about our feelings. We debate the issues. We try to find solutions to conflicts. We compromise and figure out whether we can agree to disagree. We apologize when we hurt one another. We put love before pride or anger. Each one of our brothers and sisters is special and unique, and we should think long and hard before trying to remove someone from the family dynamic. Sometimes when things go terribly wrong, estrangements can be necessary, but they should never be the result of a rash decision or a minor disagreement. We should be sad to have rifts with our brothers and sisters in Christ instead of aggressively partitioning ourselves off as we so often do. And we should remember that even if we become estranged from some of our fellow Christians, we cannot unilaterally declare that they are no longer members of the family.

I don't think of Christianity as an institution or a collection of church buildings or synod/diocese assemblies. It's not a conglomeration of bishops or a network of people who worship together on Sundays and try to ignore each other the rest of the week. We're a family. And while it's true that we're closer to some family members than to others, we ought to value everyone in the family. The center of this family is love, and we should remember that what unites us is the fact that we believe in Jesus, who commanded all of us to love God and one another.

Ice Cream

2011-05-25T10:36:00.000-05:00

My college roommate Elizabeth was a great person for me to live with. I tend to be a rather emotional individual, but Elizabeth was generally a very calm person. She didn't seem terribly perturbed by my occasional tears or my rants about the crazy things that were happening in my life. She was also a very thoughtful person who always tried hard to do and be her best. I was inspired by what a strong, confident person she seemed to be. I was frequently at war with myself, but Elizabeth seemed to be far more at peace with herself. I still wish I knew what her secret is.

Still, even the most steady people come up against roadblocks sometimes. There were a few occasions when Elizabeth couldn't figure out what to do. She would feel stuck or discouraged (rather like I felt most of the time). And when those times came, I would take her out for ice cream. "Ice cream solves everything," I would say, and we'd head off campus (a rather rare occurrence at our small college) and find some ice cream. Afterward, Elizabeth inevitably felt better, even if we hadn't managed to find a solution to her problem. After ice cream, the problems seemed more manageable, somehow. It worked every time.

So does ice cream really solve everything? Not for me, anyway—believe me, I've tried. But it wasn't the ice cream that was the point, really. It was the fact that I wanted to take her out and buy it for her. It was the act of friendship, the chance to stop worrying and feel happy for a little while, that made the difference for Elizabeth. Since she and I had a history of happy outings involving ice cream dating back to our freshman year, that was the best choice for me to make her feel happy. With a different friend it might have been something else, but with Elizabeth the magic cure was ice cream. (That, or the "possessed leg trick," a silly little spectacle that would probably still make her laugh every time if I could still get myself into a goofy enough mood to do it properly.)

I never had the power to solve Elizabeth's problems or to take away the fear or pain they might have caused her. Today I am still surrounded by people I care about whose lost loved ones I can't bring back, whose illnesses I can't cure, whose marriages I can't save, whose pain I can't take away. But taking away their pain isn't my job. As their friend, I'm supposed to give them joy and happiness to mix in with the pain so that its bite no longer feels so strong. I'm not supposed to solve their problems for them; I'm supposed to take them out for ice cream. Every bit of love I give makes a difference, even if the problems are still as large as ever. My friendship and support gives the people I love the strength to face their challenges, the will to keep going in spite of the pain.

I know that I am not the only person who feels helpless sometimes when I look into the tear-streaked face of someone I love, or I read the heart-wrenching words of someone who has lost something that she can never get back. All I can do is try to love and support that person in whatever way I can. I may never be able to make what happened to them OK, but I can help THEM feel OK about their lives in general, I can help them feel strong and happy enough to keep going in spite of it. I can let them know how special they are, how much their beautiful hearts transcend whatever dark thing has happened to them. I can take them out for ice cream. I can meet them for coffee and chocolate cake. I can hang out with them at their homes or write them a heartfelt letter or make them a present. I can take them to a movie or babysit their kids or bake them cookies. I can smile and tell them that I love them and that I care. I can be an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, a friend to laugh with.

It's easy to feel powerless when we think about the things that we can't do or change. But the truth is that we all have an amazing amount of power to improve the lives of the people we care about just by loving them. Something as seemingly insignificant as going out for ice cream can make all the difference to a friend in need.

How Do I Know For Sure?

2011-05-04T00:00:00.000-05:00

Most of us are troubled at one point or another by the lack of proof behind our faith. Most of us haven't seen a big flashy miracle to prove to us that God is real. We haven't seen a vision of the risen Christ to convince us that he is risen and is offering us salvation. We have to trust our hearts, take it on faith. So the skeptics are asking, "How do we know God loves us? How do we know there's life after death?" The answer is that we don't. We just trust based on what evidence we do have.

It's not like religion is the only thing that demands faith without proof from us. We make huge choices with limited information throughout our lives. How do we know which career to pursue? Where to live? Who to befriend? What priorities to set for our lives? We can't know for sure how those things will turn out, whether we'll be happy, whether we've made the right decision. But we take the information we have and we trust our hearts and we make a decision. What else can we do?

When I married my husband, I was 21 years old. He was my first boyfriend. I had been with him for less than two years, although we had been friends for about a year and a half before that. I had just finished college, and I didn't know what it was to live on my own as an adult, much less to do it with someone else. I didn't know how Michael would manage priorities or what kind of father or husband he would be. We hadn't lived together yet, and I didn't know how his habits and mine would integrate. I felt in my heart that he was the person I was supposed to marry, but I had no proof. Was he the right one? Would we be happy? How could I know for sure? I didn't. I was shaking from nerves when I walked down that aisle.

I'm glad I trusted my heart and made the choice to marry Michael. We're approaching our sixth anniversary, and while I've had my doubts from time to time, I truly believe that our marriage was the right choice and that we'll make it long-term. I trust what I see. I trust my heart.

Why do I believe in God? Because I know deep down inside that the Bible is right. I've read it and I've seen signs of Scriptural truths in my own life. I don't have proof—but I don't need proof. I have faith. Life has taught me that some things—often the most important things—have to be taken on faith. We'll never have enough objective proof to make a perfectly reasoned decision, but we have to keep on living anyway. That's what faith is all about. We don't know for sure, but we trust anyway. And it feels really wonderful when that trust is rewarded.

With God All Things Are Possible

2011-04-27T00:00:00.003-05:00

One of my favorite books is Pawn of Prophecy, the first installment in the five-book Belgariad series by David Eddings. It's a fantasy tale set in a fictional world in which a boy, Garion, is growing up in a country full of solid, practical, hardworking values, not knowing that there is magic all around him that will eventually become an integral part of his life. His idea of reality is challenged for the first time by an old storyteller who is more than he seems:

   "It's only a story," Garion said stubbornly, suddenly feeling very hardheaded and practical like any good Sendar. "It can't really be true. Why, Belgarath the Sorcerer would be—would be I don't know how old—and people don't live that long."
   "Seven thousand years," the old man said.
    "What?"
   "Belgarath the Sorcerer is seven thousand years old—perhaps a bit older."
   "That's impossible," Garion said.
   "Is it? How old are you?"
   "Nine—next Erastide."
   "And in nine years you've learned everything that's both possible and impossible? You're a remarkable boy, Garion."
Garion flushed. "Well," he said, somehow not quite so sure of himself, "the oldest man I ever heard of is old Weldrik over on Mildrin's farm. Durnik says he's over ninety, and that he's the oldest man in the district."
   "And it's a very big district, of course," the old man said solemnly.
   "How old are you?" Garion asked, not wanting to give up.
   "Old enough, boy," the old man said.
   "It's still only a story," Garion insisted.
   "Many good and solid men would say so," the old man told him, looking up at the stars, "—good men who'll live out their lives believing only in what they can see and touch. But there's a world beyond what we can see and touch, and that world lives by its own laws. What may be impossible in this very ordinary world is very possible there, and sometimes the boundaries between the two worlds disappear, and then who can say what's possible and impossible?"
   "I think I'd rather live in the ordinary world," Garion said. "The other one sounds too complicated."

Sometimes we are all a bit like Garion, stubbornly wanting to believe only in what we can see and touch because it's less complicated. But as Christians, we also claim to believe in another world—a world in which God acts directly through signs and miracles, in which the sick are healed and the dead are raised and each of us has a part of God—the Holy Spirit—living inside us. Still, we're terrified to say that anything can happen. We need rules, restrictions, laws of nature to make us feel safe. We need to be able to say what is and isn't possible. But unfortunately for us, God doesn't work that way because He has no limits.

How often have we heard Christians around us making definitive statements about what is or isn't possible in our faith? Some people say that there aren't prophets anymore, that God doesn't speak directly to people like He did to Moses at the burning bush. Some people believe that the stories in the Bible are fables—that Jesus didn't really walk on water or feed 5,000 people. Others argue that even if miracles happened in the Bible, the same sorts of things don't happen anymore. Some think that God is nothing more than some sort of universal cosmic force and that angels and demons and even Satan don't exist at all. That stuff sounds like it came straight out of a fantasy book like the one I quoted above. It can't be real, can it?

Jesus tells his disciples (Matthew 19:23–26) that we as humans cannot achieve the things he talks about. We can't save ourselves from death. We can't make the world perfect or work miracles with our own power. But God makes anything possible. God made the laws of gravity and can defy them if He chooses. God made things both visible and invisible—who are we to say there are no angels or demons when not so long ago we didn't even know about bacteria? Who are we to say that miracles can't happen while also professing that Christ died for us? The rules don't matter to God as much as they matter to us. He made them and He can break them if He chooses to. He is wiser and more powerful than we could ever comprehend. The limitations that we try to place on God and His creation for our own peace of mind mean nothing to Him. With God, all things are possible.

If we want to truly be a part of God's magnificent plan, then we need to be open to all the possibilities—even the ones we never could have imagined were possible. What if on the day I began this blog I had decided instead that I couldn't possibly be wise enough at age 25 to say anything useful? What if Mother Theresa had decided that one woman couldn't make a difference? What if the disciples had decided that their experiences with the risen Christ must have been delusions brought on by excessive grief or mental illness? What then? There is more in this universe than we can see or touch. There's more even than we can imagine. When God calls us, He gives us the power to do things that we shouldn't be able to do on our own. Throughout our lives we may find ourselves succeeding when the odds were against us, surviving when doctors said we ought to have died, experiencing things so strange and wonderful that we may even question our own sanity. But if we are truly filled with the Spirit, we will ultimately accept the things that come from God, even if we didn't believe they were possible before they came into our lives.

Radical Love

2011-04-20T00:00:00.000-05:00

Christianity is about love. People who say that it's about judgment, righteousness, morality, belief, or even grace have all named aspects of the religion but not its heart. Christianity has judgment tempered by love, righteousness and morality fueled by love, belief that leads to love, and grace that comes from love. Without love, none of the rest of it makes sense. Jesus himself told us that the whole thing boils down to two commandments: 1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind; and 2. Love your neighbor as yourself. The wonderful thing about these commandments is that they support each other. The more we love God, the more we want to love people because God loves them. The more we devote ourselves to loving each other, the more we understand and appreciate the God who loves us.

There is nothing more important in a Christian life than love. Nothing should take precedence over it. But if we look around us, we see all kinds of things coming between us and love. Cultural values like privacy, independence, self-sufficiency, pride (or self-respect as we call it), and even some standards of propriety become walls between us and our neighbors that limit how we interact with them. We hold people at arm's length because we are afraid of so many things. We don't want others to see our innermost thoughts and feelings because they might judge us. We don't want to ask for help or be asked to give more than we think we have to give. We're afraid of wasting time or energy. We're afraid of getting hurt or letting someone else down. We're afraid that getting close to someone will upset our social structure or community. We're afraid of being seen as presumptuous or nosy. We don't want to interfere or do something that could be perceived as inappropriate. We don't want to risk devoting ourselves to people who might not reciprocate. And I'm not saying that those fears aren't valid or important—but I am saying that they are less important than the absolute necessity of love.

Loving, intimate, and personal relationships with other people teach us about healthy spirituality and being in relationship with God. We learn to trust and to accept and to work together. We learn to give and to take, to admit when we need help and to ask for it. We stop being so afraid when we know we have a network of close friends to support us. We become more generous. We're more willing to take risks and to grow. That's what Christian living is about. Christian love is not the kind of love that pats you on the head and tells you you're perfect just the way you are. It's the kind of love that challenges you to keep striving towards the best possible version of yourself both for your sake and the sake of the people whose lives you touch; it's the kind of love that says "It's going to be hard and it might hurt, but you'll be better for it, and I'll be there to hold your hand and support you every single step of the way." It's the kind of love that doesn't let us sit in our pews thinking about how lucky we are to be saved—instead it sends us out into the world to discover that the treasure we've been given is even greater than we had imagined.

When Jesus came into this world, he was considered by his society to be a radical. Although his message was based on Scriptural themes people were already familiar with, he was taking them to a whole new level. Today's American Christians are used to being mainstream, and it's time for us to remember what it means to be radicals. There's a hymn I love whose refrain proclaims "they'll know we are Christians by our love." Will they? If we want to stand out from all the rest of the mainstream "decent" people, we need to love more passionately, more radically than basic morality demands. We can't just stop at the boundaries of social convention—we need to be willing to break the rules if they get in our way. Right now the only Christian radicals people are talking about are the ones who are screaming about how people are going to Hell because God hates them for their sins. That's not what our religion is really about: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16) That's the real point. That's what we need to be radical about. God loves us, and He wants us to love each other.

What does this mean? It means that we should be actively working to have more close friends and to be more open and honest with them. It means that we should be finding ways to go out of our way to be kind and helpful to other people. It means that we should be actively supporting our fellow Christians in their faith. It means we should be trying to get to know the people around us on a more personal level and taking more opportunities to tell them how special and beloved they are. It means that we should take the same loyalty we feel to our blood relatives and apply it to every person who reaches out to us. It means we should be thinking more actively and consciously about what's most important in our lives and going beyond what feels comfortable. We should be asking people to help us and offering to help others, including with very personal things. We should volunteer to comfort those who are mourning, celebrate with those who are happy, and support those who are working hard for God. We should be working together with one another to ensure that no one in our community feels alone or unsupported. Be a friend. Be a neighbor. Be a brother or sister in Christ.

If this is starting to sound like a lecture, it's only because I'm excited. The truth is that what I've written here is a message of hope. I am here to tell you that more is possible than we ever imagined. Relationships that we don't yet dare to have could one day be more rewarding than we could ever have predicted. Connections and growth that our cynical minds deem improbable are possible with the help of God. We have not even dreamed the wonders that God has in store for us, the marvelous experiences He is offering for the nourishment of our souls. God wants us to love each other because He knows we will benefit from it. He knows that love will make us happier and wiser and stronger. He will bless our love and make it fruitful in all the corners of our life. We needn't limit ourselves for the sake of fear or social conventions. When we break the rules for the sake of love, for the sake of God, God will support us and carry us far beyond the derision of the world. Don't settle for "good enough". Don't give up. Don't be afraid. There's more. I promise.

Be Still And Know That I Am God

2011-04-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

I spent last weekend at a hermitage center called Pacem In Terris in St. Francis, Minnesota. I went there at the recommendation of a coworker to spend some time alone with God. I sat in a tiny little cabin with no electricity or plumbing (just a gas heater and light from a gas lamp) or out on the attached screened-in porch and I walked around in the woods and the prairie. I even sat down by a lake for a little while and looked out over the loose chunks of ice still dotting its surface even though it was 55 degrees out.

The point of the center is to give Christians a place to be alone with God. I was there to have a private conversation with God, to bask in his presence, and to rest from the hectic life that sometimes distracts me from him. I digested a lot of things that have happened in my life and talked with God about what was coming next. I asked for guidance and I thanked God for everything I have received so far. More than anything, I embraced the peace of being alone with God and recognizing that He has everything under control. He is my refuge, my strength, and my help in times of trouble.

Something very important happens when I am quiet and calm and fully aware of God's presence and His majesty—I stop being afraid. I'm not afraid of the challenges that are coming in my life, because I know God will be with me. I'm not afraid of failing at my calling, because I know that God designed me specifically for it so that I could do His work simply by following my deepest instincts. I am not afraid of being defeated or destroyed by naysayers or adversaries because God will give me strength. I am not afraid of being thought foolish for the choices I make in following God because God's wisdom so far surpasses ours that human wisdom is like foolishness in God's eyes. I am not afraid of being alone, rejected, or unloved because God loves me. I am not afraid of Satan or even of my own sinfulness because God saves me.

So many fears creep into my life when I am busy and distracted. Will God make my monthly budget work out? Will God get my husband a teaching job in this lousy economy? Will God help me get pregnant? Will God help me say the right thing when I am nervous about telling others about Him? Will God cure the nagging self doubt I feel or give me a future worth working for? The truth is that God will do much more than any of those things. He has given me life and a purpose and is providing every single thing I truly need to grow and thrive as a living soul. He does not spare me from all trials and challenges, but He rides them with me and carries me through to the other side. With God in my life, there are no limits—all things are possible.

God is more than I could ever imagine, and it is only when I am quiet and in communion with Him that I fully appreciate that concept. No matter what I learn or don't learn in this life, God will know more. No matter how well I understand myself or those around me, God understands us better. No matter how weak or strong I feel, God will lend me the power to do whatever He has asked of me. If God is with me, who can be against me? What is there to be afraid of?

Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come and see what the LORD has done, the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

WINNING!

2011-04-06T00:00:00.002-05:00

Actor Charlie Sheen has been making headlines for months now with his rants about what's wrong with everybody but him. He's coined several interesting catchphrases which he's trying to get trademarked so that he can use them to make more money, now that he's no longer the highest paid actor on television after getting fired from Two and a Half Men. One of Sheen's favorite new catchphrases is "WINNING!" This has caught on and now lots of people are saying it—some in jest and some in support of Sheen.

From where Charlie Sheen sits, he may actually think that he is a winner. After all, he's been earning piles of cash for years, he has access to all the drugs he wants and the delusion that he can "handle" their effects, and he's got two live-in "goddesses" who don't seem to mind that he's still married to Brooke Mueller. Big house, lots of money, lots of attention. Plenty to sate his various appetites. What more could a man want, right?

The sad thing is that there are actually people besides the drugged and delusional Sheen who think that he's "winning". Even those who don't think drug use is a good idea often agree that being famous and having piles of cash, a big house, and a hot girlfriend are goals to aspire to. Our society encourages to look up to the haves and to look down on the have-nots. People who can sell themselves effectively get admiration and people who cling exclusively to their integrity are labeled fools. American culture tells us that rich is better than poor (or even middle class), leading is better than following, praise is better than silence, beauty is better than kindness, having stuff will make us happy, and everyone prefers "winners".

But let us consider for a moment how these ideas compare to the goals of a Christian life:

As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

“Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. ¹⁹ You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’”

“Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.”

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!”

—Mark 10:17–23

This young man would have been considered a winner both in his society and ours. He was rich and he was morally upstanding. He was young and presumably healthy, and he addresses Jesus with respect, not arrogance or sarcasm. He seems like a pretty good guy, doesn't he? Jesus even loved him—and that's why he tried to tell this young man about true victory and how to obtain it. The things that we think of as victories here on Earth—amassing wealth, fame, security, or public approval—can actually hinder us from reaching the true victory of eternal life with God. It's like winning a battle only to lose the war. What good is that? Where was this young man's wealth going to get him in the long run? Where is Charlie Sheen's "winning" going to get him?

From a Christian perspective, the truth is that we have to be willing to be losers to find true victory. We have to be able to risk being poor or unpopular. We have to be at peace with losing our lives in order to save them. True victory comes from God and may not always be apparent here on Earth. John the Baptist, who prepared the world to receive Jesus, lived out in the wilderness and ate locusts and wild honey and dressed in camel's hair. A lot of people thought he was crazy. And yet Jesus said that "among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist." (Matthew 11:11)

Would we be willing to leave everything we own behind and follow Jesus? Would we leave our families and our lives as the disciples did when they were called? Would we live out in the wilderness and preach a message that the respected leaders decry as insanity if God asked it of us? Can we give up everything we've gained in this life in order to inherit a better, truer kind of life, even if that life is invisible to most of the people around us? God is going to ask all of us hard questions, and every one of us is given tasks that challenge us. We will face hardships and temptations. But through all that we will gain a stronger relationship with God, and that will bring us true life. We will be REAL winners then.

You Are Qualified

2011-03-30T00:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday at Bible study, our small group was joined by a visitor I hadn't met before. At the end of our hour-long conversation, he asked me if I worked at the church. I told him no, and he said, "Wow! You can really testify!" He asked me if I was a minister or if I had ever thought about becoming one. I told him that perhaps I would be a sort of non-traditional minister. In a way, I already am.

Some of the people who have visited our Bible study have been a little intimidated by all the retired pastors in the group talking about old seminary classes or quoting Martin Luther. "I'm not a theologian," some of them have said. "I don't know if I can really add anything to the discussion." We would assure all of them that anyone can contribute something to a Bible study discussion, no matter how much (or how little) education or theological training they've had.

The truth is, anyone who approaches Scripture with respect and humility is qualified to interpret and discuss it with the help of the Holy Spirit. None of us, no matter how educated we are, are smart enough to uncover all of the wisdom God has hidden in His Word on our own, anyway. It's the Spirit who guides us to make sense of it all. Sure, any academic can tell you that secondary texts can be very helpful, but the most important thing is the primary text—in this case the Bible—and we all have access to that. Theological theories and writings can add depth to the discussion, or they can distract from key areas. The only absolutely necessary components to a fruitful Christian understanding of Scripture are the Word itself and the Holy Spirit. Lucky for us, the Holy Spirit isn't just reserved for the leaders and learned.

Just because you aren't a professional priest, pastor, or preacher does not mean you aren't a minister. Through the power of the Spirit, any one of us can minister to anyone else. When I inspired that man in Bible study with my insights and testimony, I was ministering to him, just the same as if I really had been an employee of the church as he initially assumed. When you take the words of Scripture to heart and live them out in service to others, you are ministering to them. When you share God's love or encourage someone's faith, you are a minister.

You are qualified to make a difference in the lives of others—not only that, but you're expected to. We can't just designate ministering to the paid pastoral professionals. We all have a role to play in the body of Christ—otherwise we'd just be dead weight. Each one of us has special God-given talents, and each one of us has access to the Spirit who will show us how to use them if we pay attention.

Don't Give Up

2011-03-23T00:00:00.000-05:00

As humans, we have limitations. Our bodies and our minds can only take so much stress before we become sick or injured. We generally don't like to get anywhere close to our breaking points because it's excruciating. We are more inclined to stop when we get tired, to quit if our task becomes to punishing. In many cases, this is a very reasonable thing to do. If we commit to something that we cannot do, it could destroy us. In general, we only push ourselves to go past where it hurts, to work through the exhaustion, when it's something that we feel is genuinely important, something that matters more than any price we could pay to achieve it.

Following God is one of those things. Sometimes being a Christian is downright exhausting. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes we American Christians mistakenly believe that it should be easy for us since we don't face much in the way of direct persecution, but being a Christian will always be hard, even if we live in a community full of other Christians. When we invest in God's work, our hearts will hurt when we see people suffering. We will cry when we want to do more than our resources will allow. We will be frustrated when there aren't enough hours in the day or enough volunteers to help with important work or enough ideas to solve every problem. It might feel tempting sometimes to give up, to say we don't care, to argue that the things that are going wrong aren't our problem.

It is true that all of God's workers need a little rest sometimes. Jesus went off by himself to pray on occasion, and the apostles must have put their feet up from time to time after a long day's work. But they didn't exit God's kingdom or leave their paths when they took a rest. They didn't throw up their hands and say, "I quit!" or decide that it just wasn't worth it anymore. If they had, their stories might have gone differently.

God charges each on of us with two things: love him and love our neighbors. God leads each of us on a personalized mission to fulfill those two commandments in a way that utilizes the gifts and spirit He gave each of us. But Satan doesn't want us to follow God's plan, so the number one thing he can do to stop us is convince us to give up. Here are a few of the lies he uses to try to do that:

Something else is more important. So God wants me to give to those in need—what about my retirement savings? So God wants me to spend time supporting other people in my community—what about how I want to spend my time? So God wants me to stand up for marginalized people—what if that destroys my precious popularity? So God wants me to leave everything behind and follow Him—what if I don't want to? We may find ourselves tempted to give up on God's plan so that we can pursue our own plans instead, but nothing we can devise will be of any lasting help to us if we shut out God.

I can't make a difference anyway. The problems of the world seem so big and we seem so small. We may not feel smart, talented, our powerful enough to make a real difference, but that's exactly why our participation is so essential. None of us can change the world alone, so it only works if we all work together. The more of us there are, the better work we can do. Every act of love counts. Every time any one of us helps someone else, we empower that person to make a difference too. We feed off each others' faith, and we all grow in God's spirit together. Every person makes a difference.

The world is nothing but pain, and I just want out. Sometimes we may feel like nobody loves us, that the world is a dark place, that there is no hope that things could get better. We stop working for the future because we don't believe that it holds any promise. We become depressed or bitter. Some of us may even attempt suicide. We don't just want to give up on God, we want to give up on life. We don't want to hurt anymore. But God is good, God is love, and He is moving through the world and in our lives even when we cannot feel Him. God loves us. Our brothers and sisters in Christ love us. There is a lot of violence and pain in the world, but there is also love and kindness and hope. There is the promise of a future in heaven if we can only persevere to the end, and there is also the promise that the Spirit will sustain us along the way and will heal our pain and sorrow little by little.

I'm a screw-up, so I'd just mess it up. Well, yes, you will—but then God will fix it. Nobody but Jesus was perfect. All of us move both forward and backward on our faith journeys. We will do some really helpful things and we will also make mistakes. God will use all of our earnest efforts to create something good. Nobody is a total screw-up. God made all of us with special qualities and talents, and He imbued us all with the potential to do good in this world. So what if you've done a lot of bad in the past? That doesn't inhibit your ability to work for good in the future. God will stick with you, so stick with God.

What I write here I write for myself as much as I write it for anyone else. We mustn't give up. I have fallen prey to every lie I've listed above from time to time, but God always pulls me back to a more peaceful and productive place. I trust God. I know that somehow He's going to take all of the mess I see around me and make it right. I know He's going to give me the strength and the will to persevere, even when part of me wants desperately to give up. I believe even when I don't want to, and that's why I never give up entirely. We must all cling to God's love and use it to banish the lies of the devil.

I want to end with a link that a friend shared with me this week when I was hurting and I felt like giving up. I hope it touches you like it did me: "You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)" by Josh Groban

The Dangers of Prooftexting

2011-03-09T00:00:00.002-06:00

Last Sunday, my pastor was preaching on the gospel account of Jesus's temptation in the wilderness and how the devil tried to use passages of scripture to lead Jesus astray. "The devil was slinging scripture like a preacher," he said, "and that is an important lesson to all of us. Just because someone knows the Bible chapter and verse doesn't necessarily mean that person is up to any good." There were a lot of chuckles from the congregation at that, but the pastor had no hint of a smile on his face. "No, it's not a joke," I whispered to my husband. "He's serious." And, frankly, he should be.

The best lies have a little truth mixed in with them, and the devil provides an excellent example of the dangers of prooftexting. The devil does not arrive in the desert with a flaming pitchfork in an attempt to openly beat Jesus into submission. He comes with arguments that he hopes will sound well-reasoned and convincing. Jesus is not fooled because he knows the mind of God so well that he can see how the devil is misusing scripture. But the devil is not content to lose to Jesus—he comes after us instead, trying to lead us astray by twisting God's truth.

Knowing the Bible chapter and verse, as my pastor put it, is not enough to help us identify and rebuff Satan's lies. Memorization won't cut it. We have to understand the underlying meaning of Scripture and have a feel for the unified message of God in order to spot a faulty interpretation. That means that if we don't want to be led astray by lies, we are going to have to invest some serious effort and prayer into grappling with Scripture and working through ideas together to reach a fuller understanding of God's will for us. It's hard work. It's much easier to be ignorant or content to follow any strong leader who takes us by the hand without thinking things through for ourselves. But we must take the hard path of discipline and discernment, because the stakes are very high.

Right now, a Christian somewhere is telling a young girl that she's a whore who will certainly go to Hell because she had sex outside of marriage. (Never mind the story of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery.) Right now, a Christian somewhere is claiming that the earthquake and tsunami in Japan must be the direct result of some evil on the part of the Japanese people. (Never mind the entire book of Job.) Right now, a Christian somewhere is turning away another Christian from fellowship or worship because he isn't the "right kind" of Christian. (Never mind Paul's assertion that we are all one body in Christ.) The list could go on and on.

And perhaps most dangerous of all, right now there are an alarming number of Christians who are smug in the belief that they don't need God's forgiveness or despairing in the conviction that they are too terrible to receive it. In the wilderness the devil was trying to convince Jesus to break away from the Father's plan and take action on His own. Today Satan is playing the same game with us, trying to tell us that we are or should be separated from God, trying to get us to leave the sheltering arms of the Father who loves and protects us.

We must not be taken in by this lie, even—and most especially—if it's couched in Biblical language. We are not beyond redemption. We are not doomed (or privileged, as the arrogant would assume) to get what we deserve. We should not be scattered to the winds and left to face our enemy alone. We must hold fast to the truth, the real truth, that is embodied in the entirety of Scripture. We must not take the bait of trying to proclaim right and wrong for ourselves but must remain obedient and diligent servants committed to earnestly seeking the will of God. And when we are taken in by the lies—as we most certainly will be from time to time—we must humbly ask God to set our feet on right paths once more.

Choice

2011-03-09T00:00:00.001-06:00

A few hours ago, I was at a weekly Bible study I attend at my church, and we were looking at the readings for this Sunday, the first Sunday in Lent. We covered the temptation of Adam and Eve in Eden, the temptation of Jesus in the desert just after his baptism, and Paul's explanation about how Adam's sin brought death to all people but Jesus's sacrifice brought the free gift of redemption to all people. In the course of the discussion, a very interesting question came up.

"Why was the tree of good and evil even in the garden?" Why did God put something there and then ask Adam and Eve not to touch it? Why was the temptation to fall there in the first place? Later we remarked upon the fact that it was the Holy Spirit that led Jesus out into the desert where he was tempted by the devil. There was the question again: why? Why does God let us be tempted?

I think the answer is that God wants us to choose Him, and without temptation there is no choice to be made. God made us all in His image and endowed us with free will. Then He set us free to choose good or evil, and He's been working hard ever since to convince us to choose good, to choose Him. God could have made Eden without the tree of good and evil. He could have made a robotic Adam and Eve who only smiled and did exactly as He asked. But how can one truly love a machine with no independent thought? How could a person with no freedom to choose otherwise truly love God?

So choices are introduced. We have the chance to fail—to disobey, to eat the apple, to believe the devil's crafty lies. But then, through the free gift of Jesus Christ, we also have the choice to accept forgiveness and be reconciled to God. I find it heartening that when God threw Adam and Eve out of Eden, he did not destroy it—to me that symbolizes the hope that one day, thanks to Jesus, we can return.

Not one character in the Bible except Jesus chose God and righteousness every single time. Many of them made mistakes. But how glorious it was when they chose to follow God! Miraculous things happened. Difficult and tragic situations were turned around. Hope was restored. That is the power we have in our choices.

Temptation is real, and God is not the only being who wants us to choose Him. Satan is also trying to win us over to his side, and we have to be aware of the reality and impact of our choices. Both God and Satan are trying to convince us that theirs is the best way, and God is not going to make us deaf to the devil's cajoling. There aren't "good" people who always do good or "bad" people who always choose sin.

Every one of us has the chance—and the God-given right—to choose. We make thousands of these little choices every day, some for righteousness and some for sin. But there is a larger choice that transcends all of that, that defines who we are and where we are going. Do we choose to follow Jesus and to belong to God, or do we choose to follow Satan in an attempt to belong only to ourselves? That's a big choice, and it will guide everything we do in this life and beyond. We need to make sure that we are informed and that we are making the right choice. It's a big responsibility.

Be Kinder than Necessary

2011-03-02T00:00:00.000-06:00

I had a friend in college who used quotes as a footer in her e-mail signature. One of them was, "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." By the time I met this friend, I already knew only too well what that quotation means, but I still have to remind myself every day of why it's important, why I must never forget, why I cannot stop striving to be kinder than necessary to every person.

I don't remember much about middle school. But even today, I still remember James. James was in my Spanish class when I was in ninth grade. That class was the center of my life at the time. I sat in a corner of the classroom with three other people: my friend Melissa; my first real crush, Matt; and James. Since the class consisted of a lot of little group exercises and study activities, the four of us spent a lot of time talking about things that were not always class-related.

At that point in time, James was a source of major irritation for me. He was frequently interrupting when I was trying to work my pathetic middle-schooler "magic" on Matt (who was reasonably friendly but never ended up "noticing" me). James was constantly asking really awkward and personal questions. He was like a class clown with feelings, someone who could laugh along with the people who were laughing at him but who also clearly wanted a personal connection. We weren't mean to him, but we still rebuffed him somewhat. He used to say hi to me in the halls, and I would feel so self-conscious and embarrassed. There weren't very many people lower on the social scale than me, and I was desperate for friends and acceptance. I didn't want to be stuck with unpopular James who made me squirmy with his direct commentary and his desire to be in my personal emotional space. I was a fourteen-year-old, and frankly, I was a bit of a self-centered idiot.

The next semester when we had new classes, I didn't see James around very much. I didn't notice when he was gone. Not until the day that I found out that he was really and truly gone—James had killed himself playing Russian roulette. It turns out that there was a lot I didn't know about the battle James was fighting until after he was dead. James had come from an abusive family, and I had no idea about the scars on his body because I had never seen him shirtless. He had been living with some kinder relatives while he was in Spanish class with me, but something in James' emotionally scarred mind made him run away from the people who loved him and go back to visit the crazy people who had abused him. That's where he was when he died.

I felt like a monster, a hypocrite, a terrible Christian. I went home and cried and cried. I still cry sometimes when I think about James. It was only after he died that I learned how to love him. Beyond his awkwardness, James was a nice boy. He was kind to me, going out of his way to recognize me and to give me his attention, and I did not give him much kindness in return. I'm not going to tell you that it was my fault that James died, that if I had been his one true friend he might have been OK. I don't know what would have happened. But I do know that kindness might have helped him, and that my kindness can still help others today.

I don't know who has been abused. I have no idea who has just lost a loved one or whose dear friend is sick or who is secretly dealing with depression. I don't know who is questioning faith or losing hope or desperate for a lifeline. I can't tell who is having a bad day or who feels invisible or under-appreciated. I do know, however, that it's likely that every person I meet will struggle with something like this, and every single person, no matter who they are, carries some care or pain on their hearts. Kindness is a salve that costs me very little to give but can make a world of difference to the recipient.

Since I have grown up, I have realized that I shouldn't need suicides to get my attention. People shouldn't have to be destitute for us to put forth extra effort and goodwill on their behalf. We should think not only of how to avoid wounding the vulnerable but also of how to build up all people in the service of a healthier and happier population. If there is one thing I can do to honor James's memory, it is to try to be kinder to all people, no matter how much or little I know about them—to be friendlier and more patient, understanding, and compassionate. Every single person is worth my time and effort, and they all deserve to be treated with love and respect. I want to be an ally to more of my neighbors in their daily battles both great and small.

In Sickness and In Health

2011-02-23T00:00:00.000-06:00

I'm sick right now, and it's kind of a drag. I'm not a fan of body aches, insomnia, or that annoying pressure that I get between my eyes sometimes that makes it hard for me to think. We all devote a reasonable amount of energy to not getting sick—we take vitamins and wash our hands and avoid sick people. We don't like to be slowed down, and we don't like the unpleasant (and sometimes painful) symptoms.

Still, a few of my happiest moments in life have arrived during an illness.

When I was in 8th grade, my showchoir was invited to perform at the White House employees' Christmas party. Nearly our whole choir got sick. I think one kid even threw up in a bathroom at the White House. I felt like crap, but I could still sing, and I remember how beautiful the surroundings were and how intoxicating the smell of all that pine was (the place was filled with live Christmas trees, and there were live greenery garlands around all the doors). I have a marvelous photograph of myself looking up in awe at the iconic portrait of George Washington as I was walking into the East Room to sing. Sickness and all, I wouldn't trade that day for anything.

Later, when I was a sophomore in college, I spent a trimester in Ireland. It was an incredible and challenging time of self-discovery for me. I caught a cold during my last week there. I remember feeling all fuzzy in the head, and I went into my bedroom in the cottage where I was staying, opened the windows, and crawled under the covers to take a nap. I remember how blissful I felt as the smell of all that wonderful green grass wafted over me and I snuggled deeper into the soft sheets. I was actually grateful that I had a cold that day because it gave me the excuse to stop working and experience this wonderful moment of absolute tranquility. I might have missed it if I had been well.

Just last night as I was bumbling my way to bed with my stuffy head, I stopped for a moment to look at an embroidery sampler that a friend made for me as a wedding gift. It has my husband's name and mine and our wedding date, and it bears the following verse from Ezekiel: "I will give them one heart and put a new spirit within them. Then they will be My people and I shall be their God." I stopped for a minute to stare at it as I internalized the words. There I stood, sick and moderately miserable, but God was there with me, promising to put a new spirit within me. All the aches and the pains of my body faded away as I remembered with joy the incredible promise God has made to me, the promise that transcends all sickness and hardship.

I have another wall hanging in my home that reads, "Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain." I truly believe that God gives good gifts in all circumstances, and that we can find joy even in sickness. When I married my husband, I promised to love and be faithful to him for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. What are our marriage vows but a reflection of God's promises to us? He will be with me in sickness and in health, every single day of my life. No hardship can separate me from him, and no sickness and take away my joy. I am blessed to be a beloved daughter of God, even now while I have a headache and an overabundance of snot. I am so happy. I am so loved.

A Picture of Law and Gospel

2011-02-16T00:00:00.000-06:00

It seems like Christians love to argue about law and gospel. Does the law mean that we are still at risk of damnation when we sin, even if we believe in Jesus? Does the gospel mean that the law is obsolete? Do we need the law anymore? Should we still be concerned about sin, or should we just focus on loving each other? Are people confusing grace with a blank check to do whatever we want?

It all seems very complicated. We are, after all, both sinners and beloved children of God at the same time, and that's a hard thing to wrap one's head around. So I've decided to try to explain it (to the best of my understanding) with a diagram:

Imagine that the spiritual world—our true existence, so to speak—has two dimensions. Spiritual life is one and death is the other. Life is tied to righteousness and death is tied to sin. When God is telling his people to choose whether or not they will serve Him in the promised land, He declares, "See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction." (Deuteronomy 30:15) He tells the people that following Him leads to life, and rejecting Him (sin) leads to destruction. These two dimensions are separated by the law, which tells us how to choose righteousness and warns us to avoid sin.

God gives us life, and the law instructs us on how to keep it. However, none of us can keep the law perfectly. None of us can always please God and avoid sin. As much as we want life, sometimes we court death instead. We all have a reckless and rebellious streak in us. So when that happens, we end up "on the wrong side of the law", so to speak:

Uh-oh. This is not where we want to be. It doesn't feel at all good to be covered in sin, and what's worse sin is contagious—by hanging out on this dimension, we inevitably bring spiritual, emotional, and/or physical harm to ourselves and those around us. When our sin drags us over to the wrong dimension, we usually have one of three reactions:

Denial. We're not sinners. We haven't done anything wrong. That big wall labeled 'law' is all in our imagination, so how could we possibly be on the wrong side of it? Everything is fine, and this side of the spectrum is no different from the other side. This approach is bound to get us into trouble. Just because we say nothing is wrong doesn't mean nothing is wrong. Our sin will continue to pollute our lives and those around us until we face up to it.
Atonement. We try to climb back over the wall to the righteousness side by atoning for what we've done. Unfortunately, this doesn't really work. We aren't really capable of rescuing ourselves from our own sin, and our righteous deeds simply aren't going to erase the failures that dumped us over here in the first place. The sad fact is that law is a bit like a one-way door—it convicts us of our sins but has no power to pronounce parole for good behavior.
Repentance. This is the only real way to get back to the side of life. When we ask God to forgive us, the sin that sent us over here in the first place is erased, and voila:

We're back on the side of life again! Of course, that forgiveness erases the act, but not all of the damage that act caused. We may still be hurt, and some other people may be too. But we are back on the side of life and on our way to recovery. We cannot get back across that wall on our own—we need God to carry us.

I hope that this diagram points out a few important truths:

This is not some tiresome exercise in legalism. This picture does not tell the story of an angry God who wants to punish us for breaking the law and crossing into the realm of sin. The truth is that God wants us to be on the side of life, and he teaches us righteousness because righteousness leads to life. It is the sin itself that harms us, and that is why God warns us so strenuously not to sin. If He wanted to, God could just leave us there to suffer, but He doesn't. The second we humbly ask Him to make things right, He accepts our apology and carries us back over to life.
The law serves a useful function, even for those who believe in grace. It's kind of a guidepost that helps us figure out where we are on the spectrum. Without the law, we may not realize it when we cross over into the bad land of sin and death. By pointing out what we've done wrong, the law reminds us that we need to get help to go back to where we want to be.
We don't want to be righteous just so we can be God's little 'A' students. We want to be righteous because we want to live. We want our souls to flourish and be healthy. We want to have joy. This spectrum should not be an exercise in pride. The fact is that we only ever made it to the side of righteousness in the first place because God put us there Himself, and on our own we'd be mired in the land of sin and death before the day is out. Every one of us. Even Mother Theresa would have been lost without God's mercy and forgiveness. None of us can stand in the land of the living by our own power.

So, really, I think law and gospel are partners. Neither one makes complete sense without the gospel. Law shows us where we are on the spectrum, and gospel helps us get to where we want to be. Without the law, how would we know that we need to move? We would never take advantage of the gospel if we didn't know we needed it. Without the gospel, the law is very depressing. We find ourselves in a dark land with no way to get out. But together, law and gospel provide us with the clarity and help we need to successfully navigate our faith.

Investing in Community

2011-02-09T00:00:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I worry about our insular, independent culture. We have a huge focus on self-sufficiency, privacy, and personal space. Each of us is a bit of an island, and that can make us feel isolated and unsupported. We keep both our joys and our sorrows to ourselves so as not to impose our feelings or our business on other people. We think of interaction as a bother or an invasion—either to ourselves or to the other person. We create a small list of loved ones whom we allow ourselves to "trouble" with our personal business and our private feelings, and we carefully hide our personal thoughts and feelings from everyone else. I don't like this, and I don't think it's what Jesus wanted for us.

Lots of people talk about their personal relationship with Jesus Christ, but have we forgotten the second great commandment: love your neighbor as yourself? If we thought that "love God" means to simply avoid making Him angry, then it would make sense to interpret "love your neighbor" as simply endeavoring to do no harm to anyone. But if we truly believe that the commandment to love God means that we should have a personal relationship with Him in which we share our joy and our pain, our hopes and our fears, then why would we think we should keep our neighbors at a distance? Should we not also love our neighbors through personal relationships? Should we not volunteer to help them when we see them in need or ask for their support when we are struggling ourselves? Should we not band together in the knowledge that two are more powerful than one?

It seems to me that Paul had a very good reason for writing so eloquently about how we Christians are all members of one body. We are meant to work together and to be responsible and responsive to one another. We think too much in terms of "me and mine" when we could be stronger and healthier if we more often thought in terms of "us" and "ours". Why do we not not more often pool our resources with others—our money, our possessions, our space, our time, our thoughts and feelings? I'm not necessarily advocating radical socialism here. But I see it as a strength—not a weakness—that I am planning for my mother to move in with me and that I am increasingly more willing to confide my personal thoughts and feelings to more and more people. I want my children to be welcome in other people's homes. I want to give to those who find themselves without something they need without them feeling like they owe me. I want my home to be filled with people and joy. I want a large circle of friends that I can share my dreams and my struggles with. I want to be myself openly as much as possible, and I want to see the true essence of the people around me.

Why should we hide what God has given us? Why should we see each other as anything less but brothers and sisters? Are we not all creations of the same God? Are we not all offered redemption through the same Christ? Are we not all imperfect beings who need all the help we can get, including from each other? Do we not all have something good to offer to those around us? It's time for us to become more proactive about using our gifts and less standoffish about sharing our pain or our "private" business. After all, God said that it was not good for Adam to be alone. He designed us to function with others, to help each other through community. When we work together for the good of all, we are inevitably at our best.

Being a good Christian is not about being locked away like a hermit studying holy things. After all, Christianity is not an intellectual exercise or a collection of beliefs—it is a way of life, and our life is given meaning through our interactions with God and each other. We need our neighbors so that we have someone to serve and someone to share the good news with as much as we need them to help us when we are not strong enough to bear our burdens alone. All of this interaction is right and good. Christians are supposed to invest in their communities. It's a challenging thing to do, because getting involved and opening up takes energy and it makes us vulnerable to others. But it is an investment worth making, for I believe that countless blessings will come upon those who accept the challenge.

Be Prepared

2011-02-02T00:00:00.000-06:00

When it comes to socializing or leisure time, I don't mind flying by the seat of my pants. When it comes to important and serious parts of my life, however, I like to have a plan. It doesn't have to be an exhaustive plan or a far-reaching plan or a rigid plan. I'm OK with flexibility, and I'm willing to change my plan when circumstances change. But I like to feel like I have at least some handle on what's going on, that I have a strategy that will help me succeed. I like to feel prepared.

Some people might say that I'm fooling myself with all this planning. I don't have any control over most of what happens in this world or even in my life. I don't know whether my house will be burglarized, whether someone will steal my identity, whether someone I love will die in an accident, even whether I myself will wake up tomorrow. I don't know how to put enough money away to provide for my family's future. I'm not even quite sure how this year's finances are going to turn out—there are so many variables. To a planner, all of this may seem a bit depressing. Am I really just throwing myself into the arms of fate and hoping against hope that everything will turn out OK?

Yes and no.

While it is true that I can try to take certain precautions, I can never be completely prepared for any eventuality. I could spend hours worrying myself sick about the weaknesses in my financial portfolio or the gaps in my education. Or I could call to mind some soothing words of Jesus: "I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? . . . Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:25–27, 34)

After all, didn't Jesus send his disciples out with no provisions at all? "Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. Wear sandals but not an extra shirt." (Mark 6:8–9) Yet, is it fair to say that Jesus sent out his disciples unprepared? Were the ready for this incredible journey? Yes and no. They certainly didn't have a detailed plan for any eventuality, but they had an overarching faith that guided them. They were prepared in a more general sort of way, and all of us can emulate their example.

So all plans, logistics, finances, and random chance aside, I can feel confident knowing that there are certain things I can do to be prepared for anything:

Read the Bible. Any time I find myself in a huge dilemma or embroiled in a big problem, chances are that I can find something in Scripture that can help me figure out what to do. In fact, I should read the Bible over and over, even when I'm not in trouble. The more I read it and think about it, the easier it will be for me to use it when I really need it.
Pray. I find that it's a good idea to ask God's opinion when there are difficult decisions to be made. I may not always get a straight answer, but listening for God helps me to feel calmer, reminds me that He's in charge instead of me. And sometimes inspiration does come.
Build a living support system. No matter what happens to me—good or bad—I'm going to need family and friends. Their advice will help me make both big and small decisions, and their support will help me through everyday and crazy experiences. I should dedicate a significant portion of my energy to nurturing a wide variety of relationships. As we help each other, the road will become easier for all of us.
Embrace love. No matter what happens, love is real and it is a fuel unlike any other. Knowing that I am loved convinces me to trust when I would rather panic, pushes me to keep trying when I would rather give up. God loves me, and so do my family and friends. Even when my loved ones can't offer the tangible support I may want, their love means that I am never alone. There is no problem too big for God, and there is nothing that can stop me from being with Him in the end.

I don't have to make the decisions all by myself. I don't have to create a plan for every contingency. God is my navigator and my family and friends are my co-pilots and my supporters. It may get sloppy sometimes, but I know that in the end I'm going to get where I wanted to go. Sometimes I may have to wing it, but my life is in the hands of a higher power who is much kinder than random chance.

The truth is that as long as I have God, the love and teachings of Jesus Christ, and my loved ones, I will always be prepared.

Blessed Are You

2011-01-26T11:25:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was kind of a rough day for me. Things were really stressful at work, and I felt overwhelmed. I thought to myself, where is the light at the end of the tunnel? When will things get easier? I was feeling frustrated and sad and helpless. It didn't seem fair that all my hard work wasn't enough.

I forced myself to take a break and go to the noon Bible study at my church, where we gather once a week to look at the readings for the coming Sunday's service. When I saw that the gospel text was the Beatitudes, I thought to myself, "That's nice—it's a lovely reading." But then as a woman sitting nearby began to read the passage, my eyes teared up. It felt as if God had sent those words especially to me, knowing I would need them on this trying day.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. (Matthew 5:3–12)

How many times have I felt weak, sad, timid, sorrowful? How many times have I tried to find peace or yearned for goodness to return to the Earth? A time or two I have even felt persecuted for my faith. But at all of those times, I was blessed. Yesterday, when I felt like everything was coming apart and there was nothing I could do about it, I was blessed. I am blessed even today, as I write this late post that should have been ready yesterday. The fact is that I am blessed every day, and when the going gets tough, that's really important.

Being blessed makes a difference. When things are bad, the fact that I am blessed gives me hope that someday they will get better, that today while I suffer I will not suffer alone. Being blessed means I am receiving grace and strength that help me to better weather the storms of life and to work to make things better for everyone else who is stuck in the storm with me. Being blessed means tempering sorrow with love, weakening oppression with hope, defining suffering as temporary.

There may be times when by worldly standards I'm pretty much screwed. I may find myself in any number of hopeless situations, trapped with no escape. But if those moments come, I will also be blessed, and that means I will have hope when things look hopeless and joy when I'm in pain. Things won't be quite so bad, and I will know that someday they be even better. Look at the promises in the Beatitudes. Those are big. They're beautiful. They're real.

I am blessed, and so are you.

Forgiveness and Logical Consequence

2011-01-19T00:00:00.000-06:00

A few months ago, I wrote a few short pieces for an article in my college's alumni magazine entitled "Life 101". The article was full of advice from alumni about various practical topics. One of the sections I wrote was about how to forgive others, and it was based on my interview with a local Catholic priest. He had lots of great advice, including the short excerpt below:

"Separate forgiveness from justice. Forgiveness shouldn't preclude justice (or vice versa). In the sacrament of confession, sometimes the priest will give a person an act of penance to perform (such as prayers and charitable works or giving); likewise, when we forgive people who commit terrible crimes, those people still have to complete their course of rehabilitation. We have a strong need for justice, but we should be willing to forgive even before justice is rendered."

I also wrote a section about how to survive your children's teenage years, for which I interviewed a wonderful lady who had raised three children and 13 foster children with her husband. Most of the foster children had been abused, so it was important for the home to be a safe place where people talked out their problems without violence and no one got worked up over accidents. She told me about how she and her husband tried not to have a lot of little, picky household rules, instead focusing on a few really important rules. When a rule was broken, there were consequences, but there was also love and forgiveness:

"A lot of families have a family doctor or a family lawyer; we had a family probation officer. He told us that knowing where the kids came from might explain their behavior but couldn't ever excuse it. He taught us the expression logical consequence. When things go badly, kids have to take responsibility for what they've done."

Writing these two pieces gave me some valuable insight into the complicated dynamics of forgiveness. In my own words, here are some of the things I learned:

It's important to forgive people, even when they make terrible mistakes. Forgiveness frees us from the negative feelings of hurt, anger, betrayal, and outrage that might otherwise consume us. If we wait for justice to forgive but justice never comes, we will be condemned to suffer with the negative feelings that only forgiveness could release.
Forgiving someone isn't the same thing as letting them off the hook. It doesn't mean that everything's better, that the incident is forgotten, or that consequences are eliminated. When I forgive someone, I think of that person again as someone with both good and bad qualities who sometimes makes bad decisions instead of thinking of him/her only as the person who committed such-and-such terrible act. After forgiveness, there are no more murderers, thieves, adulterers, or backstabbers. There are only people whose pasts include transgressions but whose futures still hold potential promise. Nevertheless, people whose past includes crime may still have prison time in their futures, even if the label "criminal" has disappeared.
It is always a kindness to forgive someone, but smoothing over incidents and protecting others from logical consequences is not always kind. If we love someone, sometimes the best thing we can do is stand back and let that person learn an important lesson by paying for his/her mistake. If the woman I interviewed had covered up for her foster children when they broke the law, those children might have learned that they could get away with breaking more and more laws, thereby landing themselves into even bigger trouble.
Logical consequences are not the same thing as punishment. If we are truly forgiving others, then revenge should not be a motive for us. Logical consequences teach lessons, restore order, and protect others—they are not the same thing as punishments intended to cause suffering.

Even God, who forgives us our sins, does not spare us from all consequences. Our sin does hurt us and others, and forgiveness doesn't undo that pain—it can only transcend it. Forgiveness isn't a free pass that lets us do whatever we want and escape the consequences afterward; it's a treatment for the very real wounds that sin causes. It would, of course, be infinitely better if we didn't sin at all, but in a fallen world where that is impossible, forgiveness is essential to save us all from being destroyed by the damage done by both ourselves and others.

You Are the New Day

2011-01-12T00:00:00.000-06:00

The community choir I sing with has started practicing repertoire for a February concert. One of the pieces on the program is "You Are the New Day". This song is a bit of a choir standard in the United States, and although I had heard it performed, I'd never sung it myself. I don't know that I had really stopped to listen to the lyrics before, but right now they speak to me:

(1) I will love you more than me

and more than yesterday

If you can but prove to me

you are the new day

(2) Send the sun in time for dawn

Let the birds all hail the morning

Love of life will urge me say

you are the new day

(3) When I lay me down at night

knowing we must pay

Thoughts occur that this night

might stay yesterday

(4) Thoughts that we as humans small

could slow worlds and end it all

lie around me where they fall

before the new day

(5) One more day when time is running out

for everyone

Like a breath I knew would come

I reach for the new day

(6) Hope is my philosophy

Just needs days in which to be

Love of life means hope for me

borne on a new day

You are the new day

I don't know who wrote this song or the circumstances of its creation. I have no idea whether or not the author was Christian or whether he meant this song to be about faith, hope, or simply gentle optimism.

To me, it is a song of encouragement that I sing to God, to remind myself of how much I trust Him to put things right. He is the new day, the one who gives me fresh beginnings and heals my broken spirit. Each stanza of this song has something positive to say to me about my relationship with God:

I do love God more than I love myself because He is more than I could ever be on my own. He is the author of all my days.
God gives me this beautiful world where morning never fails to come. I see all the wonderful things He has made, and that makes me love Him more.
I stain each day with sin, but God's grace washes away my transgressions and leaves them in my past, making each new day fresh and new for me.
No matter what a horrible mess we humans make of everything, God will put it right. Though we destroy this entire Earth with our sin, there will still be a new day when God creates a new Earth, free from evil.
Just when I think I can't make it, God renews my strength. Just when I think that everything is falling apart, God rebuilds my life out of the ashes. When I die and the darkness closes in, God will usher me into a brand new life. There will ALWAYS be a new day, thanks to God.
How can despair hold me when I have so many new days to look forward to? God's grace is such a beautiful gift, and hope is its natural byproduct. No matter how dark things may seem, God's goodness and the promise of his mercy overcomes it all.

The new day is coming. God, my beloved Father, Savior, and Guide is the new day.

Just Keep Swimming

2011-01-05T00:00:00.000-06:00

The Disney/Pixar movie Finding Nemo is the story of a fish named Marlin who is searching for his lost son, Nemo. Marlin's journey is desperate and fraught with peril, but he shares it with a friend he meets along the way named Dory. In a humorous reference to real-life fish, Dory is hindered by a very brief short-term memory. She has trouble remembering where she and Marlin are or what they're doing. She's frequently confused, but even in the face of danger, she remains upbeat. Marlin is often hopeless, but Dory is always ready to keep going. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming," she sings to herself.

It's very easy to laugh at Dory, her mindless optimism, and her "Just keep swimming" mantra, but without Dory, Marlin would have failed in his quest to find his son. She spurred him on when he felt that everything was hopeless. She wouldn't quit, and she didn't let Marlin quit either. There were points in the movie when it seemed like they would never find Nemo, but that didn't stop Dory. You could dismiss Dory's buoyant spirit as the product of a limited mind, but I think to do so would be to miss an important lesson.

There are times in my life when I feel like Marlin. I am engaged in a task that seems hopeless, striving against an obstacle that feels too big for me. I am being sabotaged at every turn, pushed and prodded by forces that seem determined to break me. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel or the way out of the valley. I'm just here, with no idea about how to get to a better place. I'm lost or stuck or defeated. Logic suggests my cause is hopeless. But even when all seems lost, I know I will do well to remember Dory and to "just keep swimming".

I remind myself that things often seemed hopeless to the apostles and the prophets. After all, several of them died violent deaths, so for some of them death itself was the only light at the end of the tunnel of their suffering. But that doesn't mean they should have given up. Their work was important even though it was difficult and painful, and their efforts were successful even though they were left unfinished. Sometimes we have tasks that are too big for us to finish alone, but that doesn't make our work meaningless. Sometimes we suffer with no end in sight, but we do have the promise of a happy ending—eventually we will be with God, and we even get glimpses of that joy in our relationship with Him here on Earth. Even now, in the valleys of our struggles, God is with us, sustaining us and offering us grace. No matter how miserable I feel, I know that my life is greater than my suffering, more beautiful than darkness, and worth more than I can appreciate at the time.

When my spirit is broken, I must remind myself that God's love and mercy are real and that joy exists somewhere in the midst of the darkness. When my heart suffers, I must remember that proof of God's love is all around me and that no hardship can tarnish His promises to me. When my mind is cynical and my faith falters, I must find the part deep inside of me that will never forget that God is real and that His love conquers all. God never promised me an easy ride. He didn't even promise that this world would be fair or that if I worked hard enough I would reap the virtues I have sown in this life. Sometimes people will hurt me, and sometimes I will get kicked down and trampled for things that aren't my fault at all. But that is no sign that God has abandoned me or that I should give up. It means that God is strengthening me, giving me whatever I need to persevere, even if it feels like I'm only squeaking by.

I may not be able to see the way out or to imagine the successful completion of the many challenges before me, but everything WILL be all right. As daunting as things may sometimes seem, all I really have to do is just keep swimming. In the end, God will take care of the rest.

It's My Life

2010-10-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

Lately, I've been sick and tired of feeling like I have no say whatsoever in my life. Why should I always have to do as I'm told? Why should I be forced to provide financial security while my husband finishes grad school? Why should I be expected to complete work tasks that aren't in my job description? Why am I stuck in a life trajectory that doesn't seem to be leading toward my dreams? Why am I spending so much time doing what others need or expect from me? Why am I killing myself trying to figure out what God wants me to be doing? When do I get to do what I want to do? When do I get to enjoy myself or be at peace or take it easy? It's my life, isn't it?

And after I have one of these little tirades, I rein myself in and remember the cold, hard truth. No, as a matter of fact, it isn't my life. I didn't will myself into existence. I didn't buy myself a free pass. I haven't redeemed my sins. I am not independent of the God who made me, and I don't have sole ownership over a life that is irrevocably entwined with the lives of others. Although I am clearly a very important player in my life, it's not all about me.

That is really hard to swallow sometimes. Nobody really wants to be a servant or a slave, no matter how much he or she loves the master. We want to be a trusted team member, a valued colleague, a beloved family member. And sometimes we are, but sometimes we have to just shut up and do as we're told. When I was a child, like all children, I found it dreadfully unfair that I should have to do what the adults said simply because they're adults. And yet, here I am, knowing that I must obey God whether His instructions make any sense to me or not simply because He is God. Jonah didn't want to go to Ninevah, darn it, but in the end he went. I know it will be the same with me, but still I fight it sometimes.

Jonah didn't take any satisfaction in the fact that his actions saved an entire city from destruction. Likewise, I don't always care that my hard work is appreciated by my employer or that my husband values the sacrifices I make for my family. Sometimes I just want something for me. But as God explained to Jonah, there's the greater good to be considered. I should be able to find a truer happiness in serving God and serving the people I love than the happiness that comes with simply satisfying myself. Knowing that doesn't automatically make it easier for me to be happy, but it does lend me the perseverance and the faith I need to continue my search for the inner peace that I know will come from joyfully obeying the will of God in my life and willingly serving those around me.

Valley of the Shadow

2010-10-15T00:00:00.000-05:00

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,
For you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
—Psalm 23:4

I'm actually not really afraid of death. I expect Heaven to be much nicer than Earth, so to me death seems like heading off on an extended vacation. Besides, I am a young, healthy person, so death isn't a very strong concern for me right now. Death doesn't seem so bad—life is harder.

Although I may not be afraid of death, I am still afraid of a great many things.

I am afraid of failing. I don't want to let the people I love down. I don't want to let God down. I don't want to let my employer down. As more and more tasks and responsibilities pile on top of me, I become more and more worried that I won't be able to successfully do everything that's being asked of me. What if something falls through the cracks? What if I don't meet a deadline? What if I'm not there when someone needs me? What if I don't do a good enough job? What if my carefully-laid plans fail? What if—despite all my talents and gifts—I fail to do what God put me on this Earth to do?
I am afraid of losing myself. It's very common for people to respond to pressure by making modifications in their lives. But how many modifications can I really make before I lose myself? At what point have I sacrificed too much of my own personality, my hopes, my dreams? How can I serve others and follow God without losing the self He created me to be along the way?
I am afraid of being misled. I read scripture and pray and talk to wise people, but sometimes I still worry that I can't always tell the difference between God's inspiration and my own errant thoughts. What if I think God wants me to go a certain direction or do a certain thing, but it turns out that God had nothing to do with it and it was my own idea all along? If endeavors don't work out right away, how do I know if God wants me to keep at them or give them up? Persevere or redirect? When I get pessimistic feelings about something, is that God trying to redirect me or Satan trying to lead me astray, or is it simply my own weak human nature? How do I tell the difference?
I am afraid of being alone. What if I can't really count on the people I love? What if the people I depend on walk out of my life? After all, death could strike at any moment, or the people I prioritize in my life could choose not to prioritize me. Will I have help along my journey? I have friends, but will I have spiritual companions? Will I have wise mentors? Will I have trusted Christian friends who can help me discern and give me sound Spirit-guided advice when I feel lost? Am I really out here doing God's work on my own, or can I find ways to join forces with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ? How do I find the right people to team up with?

Each of these fears is like a shadow that pollutes my life and saps energy from me. Each one can be awakened by challenging circumstances or bad days.

Lately, there have been a lot of challenging circumstances and bad days in my life, so there have been a lot of shadows. I have spent the past summer in the valley of the shadow, and it hasn't been a fun time. I have survived the past months through dogged determination and reliance on the people closest to me. It hasn't been pretty. I've cried floods of tears, ranted and raved and any sympathetic person willing to listen, lost my energy and discarded once-loved activities (this blog included), adopted bad habits, and composed desperate logical arguments to convince myself to get out of bed every morning. But with the help of God and the people who loved me, I'm coming back out of the valley. There is life ahead of me, and I am moving toward it as quickly as I can.

I have to deal with these shadowy fears that plague me with the help of God. I need to recognize each of them for what they are—tricks of the Deceiver—and deny them power over my life. The fact is that sometimes I will fail. But God will ensure that my work for Him overcomes my failures, and he will forgive me for my shortcomings. Sometimes I may lose myself, but God will renew my spirit within me, and I will come back to myself as surely as I am coming out of my own personal valley right now. Sometimes I will be misled, despite my best efforts. Satan's lies are convincing, but God's Word is stronger, and He won't let me wander too far. God is watching out for me, and if I continue to seek His will, He will make sure I end up where I'm supposed to be. I may even have to go it alone from time to time, but God will always be with me, so I will never truly be alone. God is moving the hearts of many people around me, and He is constantly sending people into my path through both important relationships and fleeting interactions to convey His love and His guidance to me.

Fear is real to us humans, I won't deny that. But there is nothing I fear that God can't deal with. I know that I will have to walk through the valley of the shadow sometimes, and I will have to be exposed to my fears. It won't be fun, but I will always, always make it through to the other side because God will be there with me. His rod and His staff will take care of my personal demons sooner or later. In the meantime, it's hard. It really is. But the outcome—salvation, redemption, and deliverance—is guaranteed.

Influence

2010-05-20T00:00:00.000-05:00

We don't like other people telling us what to do. We don't want to be manipulated or controlled, and we hate feeling like someone else's puppet. We don't appreciate being used to further someone else's cause without regard to our own interests. Power struggles are not fun, and that is in part we often yearn so strongly for our own independence.

As children, many of us reached a point where we were ready to rebel against our parents. We wanted to throw off the yoke of their control and flout their rules. We wanted to make our own decisions without regard to their opinions, and we no longer wanted to do what they told us to do. We wanted to be released under our own supervision, free to make our own choices as we see fit. We wanted to call the shots. Those of us who wanted freedom badly enough did sometimes throw off the advice and control of our parents. I never completely shut my parents out of my life, but I have felt the stirrings of rebellion in my own heart, and sometimes I still feel it today. On some level, I want desperately to be my own master.

The truth is, however, that none of us lives in a vacuum. We are all influenced by other people and other ideas. No matter how independent we are, we cannot control everything that happens to us nor arrive at every conclusion on our own. We use information from all around us to make decisions, sometimes without even realizing that we have been influenced. We will always see and react to the world around us, and we cannot shield ourselves completely from the influence of others. So instead of rebelliously trying to block everyone out to create an illusion of complete independence, we ought to choose more openly and responsibly just what we want to be influenced by.

There are both positive and negative influences in this world. There are people who want me to do certain things because those actions would benefit them, and there are people who want me to do what's best for myself. I can't shut them all out, so I need to be able to tell the difference. My parents, for example, did not create household rules out of a desire to manipulate me and make me jump through hoops. The rules were about my safety and well-being and the health of the family as a whole. My parents were a good influence, and I would have been foolish to try to expel them from my life. Some of my peers were not good influences. They weren't telling me what to do as an authority figure, but that didn't necessarily make them a healthier choice for me to listen to. Some of them were making poor decisions and would have tried to encourage me to do the same had I gotten close to them. But I recognized that they were not good influences.

Today I still make those types of decisions. I still have moments when I want to just run off and do my own thing without listening to anyone because I don't want to be manipulated and pushed around, but I realized that those feelings don't reflect reality. I can choose who and what to listen to without being manipulated, and I can make choices because they are good, not because someone is telling me to act accordingly. I can accept others' advice and direction and still be the primary actor in my own life. I can follow whatever path I deem to be best, even if it was laid out for me by someone else. Influence is inescapable, so I must choose the right people and ideas to influence me.

Sunshine On My Shoulders

2010-05-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

Last week was cold and rainy. We'd been spoiled with some nice weather and then suddenly it felt like early spring again. We were so relieved when the weekend arrived and brought some sunshine and warmer temperatures with it. Now every morning when I wake up, the sun is streaming through the windows of my house, making everything seem bright and inviting. I've had the windows open for several days, and all the cooped up, stale smell of winter is gone. Just being in that sunshine perceptibly improves my mood. I wake up happy now, thinking about the lovely bike ride I'll have to work instead of all the tasks I'll have to do when I get there.

Everybody loves sunshine, and there are lots of reasons why. Our bodies like the vitamin D we get from the sun. We like to be warm, and we enjoy the light that the sun gives us. We like not having to turn the heat or the lights on in our house. We like being able to go outside in lighter clothes and enjoy outdoor activities. We like being able to see and appreciate all the colors in our world by the light of the sun, and we love the plants and trees that grow because of the sun's energy. The sun (and its location in relationship to the Earth) is what makes life on our planet possible at all.

But when I bask in the happiness that the sun brings, there's more than biology and physical comfort going on. God engineered all of us to respond well to reasonable levels of light. Light is at the foundation of the entire creation, and He uses it to remind us that He is taking care of us. God's first act of creation was to declare, "Let there be light!" and that command rings throughout our entire existence. As John so poetically put it, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." (John 1:5) God has cast himself in the role of light, the one who shelters us from the life-quenching darkness. Without light—without God—we cannot exist. But we need not fear, because God will always be with us. The regular rising of the sun reminds me of that and teaches me to appreciate and expect God's tender care.

Sunshine is one of the most basic and universal gifts that God gives us. We need light to live, and therefore we are glad to have it. The sun shines for everyone, whether they love God or not, and that reminds us that God will be with us, trying to take care of us, whether we are faithful or not. I am thankful today for the sun and for everything it represents—health, warmth, happiness, and a loving God.

Let's Get Civil

2010-05-18T00:00:00.000-05:00

I recently read through my alma mater's latest edition of its alumni magazine. One of the articles was titled "The State of Our Uncivil Union" and explored the epidemic of rudeness in today's society. The article discussed how ratings-driven journalism showcases bad behavior for entertainment value, how the Internet allows us to filter the information we receive so that we limit our exposure to viewpoints we already share, and how we form communities based on exclusion or derision of other groups. Bad behavior is becoming more and more commonplace, and we're no longer surprised when people use loaded and dismissive language to pick apart their opponents. As one quote in the story proclaims, "You can't get away from it. When you hear extremist rhetoric everywhere, it becomes a certain state of normal."

As a Christian, I do have passionate opinions on some controversial subjects. However, I do not need to employ rudeness, name-calling, antics, or disrespectful language to defend my ideas. There is absolutely no reason why we should need to shout at each other, post online comments filled with (frequently misspelled) insults, or try to shun members of our community simply for disagreeing with us on some issue. My friends are Republicans, Democrats, and Independents, and some of them even have socialist or libertarian leanings. I hang out with Christians, pagans, Buddhists, atheists, and agnostics. I love people who both support and oppose abortion rights and gay marriage. The baseline in all these relationships is that we have to agree to disagree about some things. I don't have a single friend or family member who agrees with me on every issue that's important to me, but I make a commitment not to fight with them about these issues. We can discuss ideas respectfully, but if we allow ourselves to be rude, our relationship could be torn apart.

I don't think Jesus would endorse all the fighting, name calling, and back stabbing that goes on in our culture today. I think he wants us to be civil, to love peace, and to respect one another. We can have opinions, but we don't have to be mean or combative about them. We can defend the rights and the dignity of others without completely disregarding the rights and dignity of our opponents. With that in mind, I am copying the list of tips for civility that I found in the magazine article that inspired this post.

Let's Get Civil
It's not that hard to rein in our tempers and restore some civility to our lives. Follow this simple advice:

Slow down and think before you speak or fire off an angry e-mail or text message.
Accept that often there is more than one legitimate point of view.
If saying something would get you punched in a bar, then don't say it online.
Watch your tone—calm and conciliatory is infinitely more successful than critical and challenging.
Share the glory.
Accept the blame.
Ask "Can I help you?" and mean it.
Let someone else go first.
Don't cut in line.
Live by the Golden Rule ("Do unto others...")

Remember:

The Democrats and the Republicans aren't the Saints and the Colts. One side shouldn't have to lose for the other to win.
The freeway is neither a battlefield nor a playing field.
Checking your iPhone at a business or social function is rude.
Checking your iPhone while you're ordering your decaf skinny mocha is rude.
Checking your iPhone while you're driving is dangerous.
Your children are watching—and modeling—your behavior.

All Nature Sings

2010-05-17T00:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday the youth choirs at my church presented a lovely musical titled All Nature Sings. It was a poetic collection of songs that illustrate how nature can remind us of God. When we see God's creative power in nature, we remember that He created us. When we see how God cares for the natural world and establishes an order for it, we are reminded that He also has a plan for our lives. Below are some excerpts from the musical and what they say to me about God.

"Breath of God, breathe one me. One breath from God creates the apple tree, the sea, the creatures of the ground and me. . . One in life, one in death, we are in God's breath." God created everything, including us. We are connected to all of nature and to each other because everything is connected to God. We are never alone because God—and everything He has made—is always with us.

"Sing, sing, sing to God on high. Sing, sing, sing oh earth and sky. Hills and mountains, rivers and fountains, sing, sing." There are so many psalms that speak of nature praising God. This is figurative, of course, if we assume that trees and mountains don't have active consciousness. Still, nature does magnify God simply by being what He created it to be. Every time a bird sings or a waterfall casts a rainbow, God is honored. His creation is magnificent, and therefore is evidence of its Creator's magnificence. Likewise, we too can praise God simply by being what He made us to be—creatures fashioned in His own image. By following the path God lays out for us, we render great honor unto Him.

"In the greening of the apple tree, the winter sleep the waters deep, the fruit and bloom of the budding tree, we hear the voice. Let it be and it is so, it is so, it is so." The trees bloom every spring because God makes it so. That is just one small miracle that we can see in nature. God has a plan for everything He has made, and He's in control. Just as God's voice bids the apple tree to blossom, it will lead us through the wintry perils of our life to eternal life.

"All that lives in land and sea, angels from eternity, meadowlark and tiny wren, you are now the great Amen." God's beauty, wonder, power, and kindness are all around us. All we have to do is look and listen. I hope that nature can help teach me to grow, live, and praise God. Amen!

The Last Enemy

2010-05-14T00:00:00.000-05:00

When Harry Potter found his parents' grave in the last book of the series, he discovered an inscription on it: "The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death." Harry took this quotation to heart, and perhaps it helped him at a crucial moment in his fight against the evil Lord Voldemort.

This quotation originates from Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. He is explaining to them that just as death came into the world through a man—Adam—it would also be destroyed by a man—Jesus. Jesus will return to collect the kingdom for the Father. "For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death." (1 Corinthians 15:25–26) Death is the epitome of everything that has gone wrong in God's creation, the results of sin, disobedience, and depravity. When God has eradicated all of the flaws that lead us to death, then He can destroy death itself and we will be returned to the perfect life that God envisioned for us when He created Adam and Eve.

In the end it must be God who defeats death, not us. Still, death will defeat us if we do not trust in the promise. As long as we live in dreadful fear of death, we give it undue power over us. We can't do anything about death right now, and someday it will touch us. That's true. But that's also as it should be. Death is the last enemy to be defeated, so let's not worry about it before it's time. Death will come in the end, and it will be defeated. Why should we be so afraid?

In the meantime, we ought to be focusing on the other enemies, things like sin and and corruption and selfishness. God does give us power to fight those. We can't do anything about death, but we can work towards a healthier life. We can learn to live in joy instead of fear, with hope instead of dread. One day death will come for us, but that will be a day of joy, the day we go to meet God in Paradise. Today we also have a chance for joy if we allow God to help us cast the fear of death and the stain of sin away from us.

The last enemy to be destroyed is death. It will happen, but not right now. Trust in that, and don't be afraid.

Spam

2010-05-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

The reason I monitor comments on this blog is that I get a lot of spam. I assume my readers don't want to see a bunch of Chinese writing that most of us can't read, information on where to get the best escorts in New York City or how to buy cheap designer knockoffs, or links to naked pictures of someone's ex-girlfriend. I delete all of those comments before you ever have to see them so that you can enjoy a nice, relaxing, spam-free visit while you read my blog.

Most of us are so used to getting spammed that we hardly notice anymore. I delete about a third of my e-mails without reading anything more than the subject line, and I ignore most of the advertisements I see on television or on billboards along the highway. The problem is that not all spam looks like spam. We know how to spot and then ignore ridiculous advertisements that have nothing to do with us, and we all know to delete those idiotic e-mails from supposed Nigerian princes. But we're still exposed to a lot of pointless garbage outside of the usual suspects like ads, e-mails, and blog comments.

As a Christian, I often have very specific ideas about what kinds of information are useful to me. I want to learn how to be a better person, how to serve God, and how to love others. I want to grow in God's plan for me and enjoy the beautiful creation God has given me to live in. A lot of the information I get every day has nothing to do with those goals. It's really spam. Consider the kinds of messages we're inundated with every day:

How to get more money and be a conspicuous consumer so that other people will respect us more
Where to get the most fashionable "must-have" items
Encouragement to be self-centered and treat ourselves to nothing but the best
Pressure to adopt certain values and behaviors that may not match our faith
Encouragement to do what everyone else is doing
Cosmetic tips that deal with our lives on the surface but don't impact our deeper selves
A huge list of ways we can waste our time and talents by doing things that are amusing and easy but not terribly useful

Sometimes I think I want this kind of information, but do I really? I have a better e-mail experience when I quickly delete the spam and move on to the important messages. Likewise, I'm going to have a better, happier, and more productive life if I learn to cut the crap and focus on the information that really matters.

Flood

2010-05-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

It's been raining a lot here. One the one hand, I like the rain because when it's over everything is fresh and the green grass is even greener. Because we had rain today, it will be gorgeous outside a few days from now. Still, sometimes in the midst of a long stretch of rain it can be hard to think about the glorious spring days ahead. Mostly we just think about how gross it is outside and it can seem like the rain will never end.

The weather in my soul can be like that sometimes too. On the sunny, happy days, I relax into an easy joy, appreciating my blessings and living in the moment. I know that dark days will find me again, but I don't worry about it because there's not a cloud in sight. On the dark days, though, I can't find any sign that the sun will return. Everything is hard and sad and I feel tired and weak. How will I make it, I wonder? When will my world change and bring me back to a happier, more stable place?

I don't always have control over the seasons of my soul. Challenges come and I struggle to adapt within the confines of my own weaknesses. I can't make the sun come out again all on my own, and I start to feel helpless. The truth is that to a certain extent, I am helpless—at least on my own. Luckily, I have a strong defender who won't let me perish. He won't take away all the bad weather, but he'll help me get through it, and he'll use it to fertilize the growth in my soul. Just like wildfires cleanse the prairie and rain nourishes the grass, God will use these hard times to enrich me in the end. And in the midst of them, he'll help me get through.

With that in mind, I'll close with some lyrics from the song "Flood" by Jars of Clay:

Rain, rain on my face
It hasn't stopped raining for days
My world is a flood
Slowly I become one with the mud

But if I can't swim after forty days
And my mind is crushed by the thrashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up

Lift me up when I'm falling
Lift me up, I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up, I need you to hold me
Lift me up, keep me from drowning again

(Click here to read the rest of the lyrics. Click here to listen to the song.)

What does the LORD require of you?

2010-05-11T00:00:00.000-05:00

I work for a private liberal arts college. Our honors convocation is coming up, and it's my job to prepare the programs to go to print. We have three big events with a faculty procession in full academic regalia: Opening Convocation, Honors Convocation, and Commencement. At each of these events, the chaplain reads a salutatory and a valedictory. She's chosen a lot of interesting readings over the years that I've been at this college. She's read poems both famous and obscure and excerpts from authors I've never even heard of. Once she even read a passage from The Lord of the Rings (my nerd friends loved that—it was at their commencement ceremony).

This is the first time since I've been here that she has chosen a Biblical text for one of these readings. Our college is not affiliated with any religious organization, and we dropped our "chapel" requirement about 30 years ago. The chaplain is charged with meeting the religious needs of all students, and organizes observances from people of many different faiths. Although she was trained as a UCC pastor, she often comes across more as a Unitarian, very accepting of a wide variety of faiths and religious expression. Because she must nurture the spirituality of many different people of many different faiths, I think she has to be careful not to come across as "too" Christian at the risk of alienating some people. She has a hard job, and she does it remarkably well. That's why I was so surprised that she would pick a Biblical reading in this college that is so secular and diverse.

The reading she chose is Micah 6:6–8. I've copied it below:

With what shall I come before the LORD
       and bow down before the exalted God?
       Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
       with calves a year old?
Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
       with ten thousand rivers of oil?
       Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression,
       the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
He has showed you, O man, what is good.
       And what does the LORD require of you?
       To act justly and to love mercy
       and to walk humbly with your God.

I suppose I know why she chose it. The many different religious expressions at this college converge around the worldview of the liberal arts—enlightenment, justice, humility, cooperation, and creativity are promoted in many different ways to every member of the college community. Whether or not we are Christian, everyone at this college is expected to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with no expectation that we can buy our way in life.

Yet, that's only the surface of what this reading is really about. The liberal arts would teach us that we should be just, merciful, and humble because it's good for society in general, and that's true. But who taught us to be altruistic? How did we come to believe that working for the good of everyone was better than selfishly backstabbing and quarreling for our own profit alone? It is very enlightened to be concerned with the good of society, but at my deepest level, my instincts tell me to abandon everyone but my dearest loved ones in order to meet my own needs. I overcome this urge not through an intellect that convinces me that altruism is better and smarter than selfishness but through a heart that loves others too much to turn on them. My altruism comes from God and the lessons he has taught me, not from the wisdom of my own mind. While I think it's good and right that secular institutions teach us to be good and conscientious citizens, I know I need something stronger to serve as a foundation for those lessons so that I carry them on through even the hardest times in my life—I need God.

I endeavor to be a good citizen because that is what God requires of me. I recognize that God requires it because it is good and right, but I'm not sure if I would have known exactly what good and right are if I didn't have God to teach me and help me. I think that intellect is a marvelous tool when put to the service of God (consider Paul), but intellect is no replacement for God. Walking humbly isn't enough for me. I want to walk humbly with my God.

I wonder how many of the listening students and faculty members at Honors Convocation will draw a similar conclusion when they hear these words.

Communion

2010-05-10T00:00:00.000-05:00

I smiled as the first person approached, and I tore off a piece of bread with my thumb and forefinger. "The body of Christ, given for you," I said, and I placed the piece of bread in the open palm. I don't remember exactly who came first, but that person was followed by many more in the quiet bustle of communion.

There were the nice people who come to Bible Study on Tuesdays. Most people look serious when they come through the communion line, but these two smiled back at me.

My husband was in the other line, but I still looked up and caught his eye as he came near. I could feel him close, and it was a warm feeling.

I smiled reassuringly at the little girl who seemed so shy that at first I wasn't sure if she wanted to receive the bread or not. But then she held out her little hand and looked up at me timidly. I gave her the bread, and her father put his hand gently on her shoulder as they moved on.

For a while I noticed that the pastor and I were in perfect rhythm. "The body of Christ given for you, the blood of Christ shed for you," we would say in unison. I could hear the other communion servers speaking these lines too. All of us spoke together, on top of each other, and yet each person heard only the one who was speaking directly to him or her. There was sense in the jumble of words coming out of four mouths at once.

The congregation finished the two communion hymns and then the choir began to sing. What a heavenly sound, I distractedly thought to myself as I smiled and spoke to the person standing in front of me. I glanced up at the choir loft, but it was empty. Then I looked down the line of people waiting to receive communion and saw the choir gathered out in the narthex, singing through the double doors at the back of the church. The ethereal sound of their voices washed over all of us, breathing a gentle warmth on our spirits.

A beautiful, tottering old lady whom I've seen often but never formally met approached me. She had the most beautiful pink corsage pinned to her jacket in honor of Mother's Day. I looked at her bright yet wrinkled old face and thought of all of the children and grandchildren whose lives she must have touched. I imagined all the boundless love caught up in that little pink corsage. I didn't know her, but as I imagined the family who had picked out that corsage for her, I loved and admired her too.

Here came the members of the choir, people I've sung with and laughed with. I hoped they all knew how beautiful their singing had just been. I made a mental note to tell them as often as possible how much I enjoy listening to them.

All the faces passed by, people I knew and people I didn't know, but in the simple action of sharing communion I was connected to them all. Finally came a pair of friends with their new baby. As I looked at his tiny little face, he was also my hope for the future, a gift from God with the power to benefit the entire community, the whole body of Christ. Every mother's love, every child's smile, every person's hope was part of the community to which I belonged, and I could feel that more strongly than ever as I stood at the front of the church, watching them all come by.

Then it was over. I carried the pastor's chalice and my empty plate back into the sacristy. Soon we would all disperse into the wide world (or at least into the little town of Northfield), and it would be a while before we came back together again. Still, we would be connected because of this meal we had just shared and the faith that binds us to God and to one another.

Working for Peace

2010-05-06T00:00:00.000-05:00

Sometimes our world's problems can seem so large that we feel we can do nothing to change them. Peace is one of those issues. How could we ever have world peace with so much sin in the world? How can anyone but God bring peace to our broken world? The truth is that we never will have complete world peace until God makes all things new, but that's no reason not to work for peace. We can't make things perfect because we aren't perfect, but we can work to make things better. With God's help, we ourselves can become better, and that's what working for peace is all about.

A photographer with whom I regularly collaborate professionally has started a project called "A Peace of My Mind." He interviews people to ask them about their take on peace and what it will take to make our world a more peaceful place. He talks to all kinds of people—old and young, professionals, homemakers, even homeless people. They all have something different and insightful to say. I think his project has a brilliant premise. If we simply spent more time thinking about peace and listening to each other's ideas, we could learn to make a difference. Each of us has a small sphere of influence, but when we work together we can do amazing things.

I encourage everyone to check out A Peace of My Mind at apeaceofmymind.net. Right now the project is in the running for a $50,000 prize from the Pepsi Refresh Project. The money would be used to keep up the Web site, fund more interviews, and create a traveling exhibition. You can vote for A Peace of My Mind by visiting www.refresheverything.com/apeaceofmymind.

I believe that peace is a natural byproduct of love. When the day comes that God perfects us all, we will be able to live in complete peace because we will love each other perfectly. There are ways for us to promote peace while still standing up for our beliefs, and we can love even those who oppose us. I know that we can't have complete peace in our sinful world, but I think God would support our efforts to work towards a more peaceful community and world.

Answered Prayers

2010-05-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday did not start out very well.

Early in a workday a colleague and I were conferring about a project we're working on together. We're both writers and editors, and I'd been gathering some sources for a story she's working on. We'd reached the point where I'd gathered the initial responses from these sources and turned them over to my colleague who was responsible for the piece in question. She was going to work with the contributors to get their pieces integrated into the piece. She asked me to read over an e-mail she was going to send to one of the contributors suggesting some mild edits to his piece. This sort of request is standard procedure for a project like this, and her message was very carefully and diplomatically worded. I told her I thought her e-mail looked fine, and she sent it.

Less than a minute later, the recipient called her up in a rage. He had just read her e-mail (very quickly) on his Blackberry while sitting in traffic in Los Angeles and immediately called to tell her how offended he was that she suggest he modify his piece in any way. How dare she question his expertise. Never mind that she needed to integrate his piece with others so that they would roughly match in tone. Never mind that she's a professional editor who's been doing this for more than a decade. Never mind that Steven King himself has to put up with editing. She was out of line to suggest that his piece was anything less than perfect, and he was going to take his loud complaints to the highest people possible in our organization. We work for a non-profit, and this person was chosen for this project because of his supposed love for the institution, but he vowed he would never do anything to help us ever again. Then, when he had my colleague in tears, he hung up on her.

I was dumbfounded. She had no idea the call was going to go this way, so she'd left her office door open and I'd heard the whole thing—at least her end. I'd heard her voice start to tremble as she tried to reason with him. I knew this person was a little high-strung, but I hadn't imagined this would happen. I consoled her as best I could, agreeing that his behavior was completely out of line, and then she went to get coffee.

The rest of the morning was a bit shaky. I kept expecting someone to start screaming at me at any second. Everyone in the office had heard about what happened, and we were all rather subdued. None of us likes getting yelled at by unreasonable people, and an attack on one of our colleagues feels a bit like an attack on all of us.

Later, I finally escaped the office to go to an annual luncheon for an organization to which I belong. As soon as I walked outside some of the weight lifted—it was beautiful and sunny, a perfect day. The lunch raised my spirits even more—good food, enjoyable conversation, and fun entertainment. At the end, they drew names to see who would take home the little potted plants that were centerpieces on the tables. They were very lovely, but I realized wistfully that I'd have no place to keep one if I won it—I live in an association with common lawns where I can't have a flower bed, and I can't keep plants inside or my cats will eat them and then throw up.

Then it hit me. My coworker loves flowers. I picked out a pink one on a table across the room and thought it suited her just perfectly. "Please, God," I prayed, "Let me win that flower." And I did. When I got back to the office, I asked my coworker if she'd like to have it, and she eagerly accepted. "This will look just lovely on my porch," she said. Then she gave me a hug and thanked me for being kind to her on her bad day. Somehow between a luncheon and a flower, the day got better for both of us, and at quitting time we both left in reasonably high spirits.

I don't always expect my prayers to be answered. Sometimes I get so jaded about it that I don't want to ask for anything at all. But then these little moments come up, and that urge to do something like give a coworker a flower pops into my mind. I can't help but pray in those moments, and when my prayer is answered, a little bit of my cynicism rubs away. I remember that God does answer prayers, and that He's there to cheer us up when some jerk yells at us for no good reason. So thanks, God, for the flower. It was a nice gesture, and I'm glad you gave me the idea and the luck to pull it off.

Footsteps in the Sand

2010-05-04T00:00:00.000-05:00

I know that practically everyone knows this poem in one of its incarnations, but today I'm going to post it anyway. Several versions of this poem exist, but I've chosen the 1963 version by Carolyn Carty.

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to him and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it. "LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

I know this poem well, and I want very much to believe it is true. Sometimes when things are hardest I feel completely and totally alone. I struggle onward, trying to fight my way through to a brighter time. It can be easy to doubt that God is with me when I feel so cold and alone, but I realize that if I were truly alone during those times I wouldn't make it. I'm not capable of pulling myself through trials and tribulations on my own, so I know that God must be there, carrying me through—even when I'm too incoherent to notice Him. God is there all the time. It is my own senses that change. Sometimes I can feel Him and sometimes I can't, but God is constant and true.

First Star to the Right and Straight on Till Morning

2010-05-03T00:00:00.000-05:00

Last night I went to bed early. I was quite tired and pressed down by the weight of all I had done and all I have left to do in the days ahead. I was lying in bed groggily looking out my bedroom window at the single bright point of light in the dark sky. I stared at it and it twinkled merrily back. "First star to the right and straight on till morning," I muttered to myself. That little star (which I realize was probably not a star at all but rather the planet Venus) looked so far away and so inviting.

I've never really been much of a Peter Pan fan. It's kind of an odd story, and I was never really captivated by pirates the way some children are. I do understand the thirst for freedom and adventure all to well, however, and that's the feeling that seeped into my veins as I sleepily gazed at that star. How grand it would be to travel to some far off place where I could discover new things, make new friends, and live a grand adventure. How nice it would be to battle lugubrious pirates instead of fighting my current enemies: sin, bills, my own weakness and fatigue, and the demons who try to trip me up when I'm not paying attention. How lovely it would be to spend a little time in a fantasy land where nothing I did really mattered because it was just a story, after all.

My life isn't a grand and carefree adventure. It's a more serious and pedestrian journey than I might like, but it also has more character development and more personal growth than Peter Pan's. All of us have moments when we wish we didn't have to grow up, but that's because we don't like the baggage that comes with growing up. Growing up in and of itself is actually a marvelous thing. We get to learn new things and develop new skills and insights. We are refined from a rough sketch to a polished masterpiece as we grow up.

The trouble is really the pressure that comes with growing up. As we grow we are entrusted with more, and it matters more and more how our stories turn out. God gives us talents and resources, and He expects us to use them well. That puts a bit of pressure on us to try to get things right. At the same time, God is motivated to help us get it right, so He helps carry some of the weight. We can't fly or imagine things into reality, but God can carry us and give us the power to do what He asks of us.

Magic and adventure seem like easy outs to me sometimes, but they pale in comparison to God's power and abiding love. I don't need to escape from my life because God is going to make sure I make it through just fine. That twinkling star was beautiful, but it was also quite nice to be warm in my bed with a loving God watching over me.

An Open Letter to the Prophet Elijah

2010-04-30T00:00:00.000-05:00

Dear Elijah,

Like many Christians, I greatly admire you. Your exploits and your gumption are the stuff of legend. As I read the exciting stories of your career as a prophet, I find myself unable to imagine what it would have been like even to witness what you did, much less to actually do it. You are like a Christian superhero—a man who accepted his calling, stood up to corrupt powers, and ultimately got carried off to heaven in a whirlwind. What a story! What a life! I can't tell you what a huge fan I am.

When I was first introduced to you in 1 Kings 17, you were already a prophet. You seemed so bold and confident, rebuking the evil king. But I don't know the story before that. When did you know you were a prophet? How did you receive your calling? Was there a burning bush or some sort of miracle? Was there a voice or a dream or a vision? Did you just know deep in your heart what God wanted you to become? Did you ever doubt your destiny? Were you afraid? Did you wonder sometimes if you were going crazy? How did you transform into the strong man of God that I met in 1 Kings 17? Was it easy, like following the path of least resistance, or did you struggle with it? Did you sleep at all the night before you confronted the king? Did your hands shake afterward? You look so stoic and calm there on the page, but I wonder what was going on inside your mind and your heart.

Later, after you had prayed successfully for the resurrection of the widow's son and had confronted Ahab again, you had a difficult period. Ahab and Jezebel sent a lot of goons after you, and you were on the run. You were frustrated then, and you prayed to God that you might die. And yet, in the midst of your fear and confusion and doubts, when God sent an angel to you, you listened and obeyed. I wonder sometimes if you argued at all with the angel about the raw deal you were getting or if you really were as absolutely obedient and virtuous as the story portrays you. Did you wonder during that long journey if God really cared about you or if you were just a pawn in a crazy supernatural game? Did you question whether following God's plan was the best choice for you? Did you worry that you might be discarded in the end when God was done using you? If you were afraid or disenchanted, it didn't show.

Did you ever wonder why God chose you to do all these things? Did you ever sit around wistfully remembering a time when your life was normal? Or did you feel a thrill of exhilaration every time you rebuked Ahab or performed a miracle, as if you were born to be this fearsome prophet? Did you want this life for yourself or did you long for a quieter existence? Sometimes I think you might have been the kind of no-nonsense person who didn't have time for such questions. Perhaps you never questioned what God asked of you and simply went with it. If not, you sure were good at hiding the conflict within you from everyone else—they were all cowed by your overwhelming air of authority.

I don't know how you did it. I don't know how you kept your cool in front of Ahab or in the midst of all those people on the mountain when you were calling them out over their idolatry. I don't know how you retained your sanity in the midst of such crazy happenings. Sometimes it must have seemed like a dream or even a nightmare. Still, you held on. You did better than hold on—you excelled. In the end you were honored with a magnificent departure that has never been replicated. Your faith and obedience were rewarded, and you went down in history as one of Israel's most famous prophets, second only to Moses himself. You even got to be with Jesus during the Transfiguration.

Elijah, I wish I were more like you. Your story is one of inspiring success in the midst of incredible hardship. Your life was difficult and scary sometimes, but you persevered and prevailed. I wish I knew the secrets of your success. I wish I had your courage and your conviction. Like Elisha, I wish I could inherit a double portion of your spirit. Maybe someday when I finally make it to Heaven, I'll meet up with you and we can compare notes. In the meantime, I guess I'm on my own—which is to say that I'm with God, just like you were. He looked after you all right, so I expect that I'll be OK too.

Love, Kayla

Acceptance

2010-04-29T00:00:00.000-05:00

There's always a lot of discussion in the Christian community about what it means to be open and accepting to all people. After all, we're supposed to love everyone, right? God did create every one of us, and we are all precious in His sight. Not one of us is intrinsically past redemption, and Jesus would have us show kindness and respect to all people, no matter what they've done.

But that's not the whole story. We are also called to live to a high standard of conduct. As Christians, we're supposed to be as a people set apart, a righteous community dedicated to God. We often fall short of that ideal, but we still strive for it. We don't want to encourage people to do whatever they want in the name of acceptance, or we won't have any community standards at all. We don't simply accept that some people are thieves or pedophiles and just let it go with no response. We have to be able to address conduct and try to hold ourselves accountable for the good and health of the community and out of service and devotion to God.

So where's the balance between judgment and acceptance? Many people explain it by saying, "Hate the sin but love the sinner." That language turns some people off, but it at its heart it gets to the deeper issue. Unfortunately, that distinction is sometimes hard to make.

Let me start with myself. I have to accept that I am a flawed person. I make mistakes, and I don't always live up to the goals I set for myself. There are things I wish I could change about myself that I simply can't change. In order to go forward with God and my neighbors, I have to learn to accept myself and love myself, flawed as I am. At the same time, I need to be able to tell the difference between my successes and my failures so that I can learn from them. I need to be able to admit that I've done something bad without condemning myself as a bad person. There are some things I just can't do, but that's OK. I do the things that I can do and I leave the rest up to God, and I thank everyone who supports me in that.

So many of the issues we discuss are charged. If we tell someone that they we don't think they're the best person to perform a particular task because of things they've done and choices they've made, are we failing to be accepting? I don't necessarily think so. I honestly wouldn't choose someone with questionable theology or a reckless lifestyle to teach Sunday School to my children. But let's put this in context—I also wouldn't chose someone who can't explain topics well, has no patience, or isn't interested in discussing Bible stories. Our suitability for specific tasks has to do with a lot more than our track record—it also has to do with our personalities, gifts, and calling.

We probably shouldn't authoritatively dictate what other people can and can't do (except where we need to have a say about how their actions affect us directly). Still, our thoughts about someone's suitability to do a particular task is not a question of acceptance. We aren't evaluating whether they're good enough to live, after all. I would simply note that none of us is an expert on what other people are qualified to do. As someone who had persecuted Christians and perhaps even aided murder, Paul probably doesn't seem like a good choice for an evangelist. But God turned him into one, and He can work similar miracles in us. As Christians, we should use good judgment but remain open to the work of God's hand.

In the meantime, we are called to accept everyone. That means that nobody has to pass a test in order to earn love, forgiveness, respect, or even our attention or company. I should be able to speak to, associate with, or do something kind for anyone—including people whose actions I find reprehensible. I won't help them do the things I disagree with, but I can be kind and civil to them in all other respects. If I can help others and think they would appreciate my help, I should help—no matter whether or not I think they've "earned" it. Acceptance means that I worship with everyone who is willing to worship with me, I talk to everyone who's willing to talk to me (and sometimes people who aren't), and I work for the good of all people, both directly and indirectly.

Life Is Wonderful

2010-04-28T00:00:00.000-05:00

A friend recently made me a mix CD, and the opening track was "Life Is Wonderful" by Jason Mraz. Not being much of a Jason Mraz fan, I'd never heard it before, but after one listen the song had captured me. From the few Jason Mraz tunes I've heard on the radio, I knew he likes to use clever wordplay, but I was unprepared for how deeply these seemingly simple lyrics would strike me. I don't know anything about Jason Mraz and whether or not he had God in mind when he wrote this song, but listening to it tells me something true about my faith.

It takes a crane to build a crane

It takes two floors to make a story

It takes an egg to make a hen

It takes a hen to make an egg

There's no end to what I'm saying

It takes a thought to make a word

And it takes some words to make an action

It takes some work to make it work

It takes some good to make it hurt

It takes some bad for satisfaction

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle

Ah la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la

At the beginning of the first verse, I thought this was just going to be another clever wordplay song about paradoxes and trivia. Which came first—the chicken or the egg? But the rest of the song recolored the first verse for me. We live in a marvelously complex world, don't we? It does take a hen to make an egg and an egg to make a hen, and each of us is made up of billions of complex organic parts that all work together in amazing and sometimes mysterious ways. What an amazing world God has created! We can observe it, but we can't always explain it. I listened to this song as I walked to Bible study yesterday, and as I looked around at the world around me, I was overcome with awe. The sky was so blue and there were all different kinds of blooming trees with foliage ranging from verdant green to blushing pink. There were birds and butterflies and passersby on bicycles, and God created all of it. In that moment, all I could do was breathe it all in and feel amazed and blessed.

But the verse goes on. Our world is not only composed of many interlocking parts, it's also filled with conflicting emotions. We experience joy and pain, love and sadness, and all of it swirls together to form our life story. We get hurt because we dare to care, but our love is rewarded most strongly when we suffer for it. The more work we put in, the more something means to us, and each drop of blood or sweat can be precious. God put us here to learn about him and to grow in love, and sometimes that hurts. We have growing pains and suffer betrayals, but along the way we learn the beautiful truth about what really matters. We experience good and bad as our lives come full circle, but along the way we learn that life is wonderful, as is the God who gave it to us.

It takes a night to make it dawn

And it takes a day to make you yawn, brother

And it takes some old to make you young

It takes some cold to know the sun

It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love

But it takes years to know what love is

And it takes some fears to make you trust

It takes those tears to make it rust

It takes the dust to have it polished, yeah

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle

Ah la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la

Sometimes I think that God allows us to experience night (both real and figurative) so that we can learn what dawn really means. It's a blessing to be able to more fully comprehend the joy of the morning and the triumph over all darkness—even the grave. The burdens we bear for God make us stronger, and perseverance is healthy for our hearts. We experience so much in this life without truly understanding what it means. God has permeated our lives with layers of divine meaning, and it takes us a lifetime of learning and spiritual guidance to even begin to comprehend what's there. But God truly does use all things for the benefit of those who love him—even fears, tears, rust and dust. In the end we will be polished and perfected, and we will spend eternity living with our loving Father. Life is wonderful, indeed!

Click here to read the full lyrics to the song or to listen to it. (The "Listen Now" link is in the upper left corner of the page, beneath the title and beside the picture.)

Help

2010-04-27T00:00:00.000-05:00

Our lives are a combination of our own efforts and the efforts of others. When we were small children, we did very little for ourselves. As infants, we couldn't even feed or dress ourselves. Other people (mostly our parents) had to do everything for us because we could do nothing for ourselves. Later, we became more independent. Many of us relished the feeling of being able to take care of ourselves. Sometimes we might have even scorned the idea of taking help because as adults we didn't think we needed it anymore. The truth is that while we are expected to progress past a stage where we need help with everything, we're never going to mature to the point that we don't need help ever again.

Even those people who vehemently attest that they would never accept help can't escape all the benefits of cooperation. Anyone who has a job that necessitates them to work with other people gets help sometimes. Anyone who drives on the Interstate is aided by the drivers who adjust their speed or change lanes to allow him/her to feed in. All of us get help from unseen Providence, whether we're willing to admit it or not. The truth is that there's no shame in getting help. We can do many things on our own, but we all have weaknesses. It's OK to accept help to compensate for our weaknesses. Even when we're at our best, we still might want help—with a little help we can sometimes transform adequate efforts into extraordinary results.

Accepting help doesn't mean that our own actions and efforts don't matter. Consider Moses for a moment. He confronted Pharaoh, led the Israelites out of Egypt, and parted the Red Sea. He didn't do any of this on his own. God told Moses what to say to Pharaoh, empowered him to be a leader, and lent divine power to the miracle at the Red Sea. Although these things were done by the power of God, Moses and his actions were integral to all of them. Moses himself did not unleash the power that parted the Red Sea, but God still need him to stretch his hand out over the sea. How else could the people have been sure that the miracle was from God and was connected to the message that Moses had delivered? God used Moses to reach his people, and Moses' own choices and actions had everything to do with that.

It's the same with you and me. Sometimes we need help from God or from other people to do the work we've been given to do. Accepting help in those situations is a credit to us—it's the path to victory, not an admission of defeat. Still, it's also important for us to work hard to reach our goals, and we are no longer children who can rely on others for everything. Accepting help doesn't mean giving up on our own efforts. Instead, when we combine our own work with the help of others, we can often get a magnificent result. Because I know that, I ask God to help me feel more comfortable asking for and accepting help. Likewise, I want to become more willing to offer my help to others in any way I can. Together we can all make a big difference in the world.

Lessons from Mom

2010-04-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

I learned much of what I know about love by paying attention to my mom. People say that there's nothing quite like a mother's love, and although I have no children of my own, I can confirm that they're right. I've seen that strong and abiding love in my own mother. The Bible tells us all about love, but seeing those concepts acted out in the world around them helps us to truly understand and internalize them. Scripture told me a lot about love, and then my Mom showed me what those passages were talking about. Because of that, I understood and embraced love from an early age and grew into a stable person with a strong heart.

My Mom has taught me a lot of things. These are just a few:

Sometimes you have to put someone else's needs before yours. I didn't always know all the pressures Mom was under. She took care of me the same, whether she was having a good day or a bad one. She did things for me when she would probably have rather been doing something else. She made sure I got what I needed, even when she might not have been getting everything she needed herself.
It's OK to get angry—just don't stay angry. My mom has a temper now and then, but it only lasts about 30 minutes. Give her a half hour and she's fine again. No grudges, no having to suck up for what you did, no guilt trips. She uses her moment of anger to completely purge the negativity from her system, and then she's over it. The offense is all gone. I am forgiven. The anger was never a weapon or a means of control. That's why I learned not to be afraid of anger—it doesn't have to last very long, and it doesn't have to ruin anything. The anger is brief, but the love abides strong as ever before, during, and after it.
It's acceptable and necessary to stand up for people who can't stand up for themselves. I remember the day I was playing in the public pool and a bunch of big boys were throwing pool toys at me. I tried to get out of the pool to escape them, and one of them grabbed my foot and tried to pull me back in. That's when my mom looked up from the book she was reading, saw what he was doing, and yelled, "You let go of my daughter!" in a very strident voice. The lifeguard seemed affronted that my mom had dared to disturb the peace and tranquility of the public pool, but she wouldn't back down. She had a right to defend me, and if she hadn't stepped in I could have been hurt. That's not the only time my Mom stepped in to defend me, even when it might cause other people to think she was strange. My elementary school teacher probably thought mom was a nuisance (and I was a wimp) when she went to the principal to discuss the fact that the other kids were mercilessly picking on me all day every day. But she didn't care what anyone thought. She cared about me. I know now that peace, decorum, routines, and even social norms can be tossed by the wayside when someone's in trouble. Love means putting yourself out there when someone else needs help, even if it makes other people look at you funny because you dare to step outside the typical.
The best gifts are personal. When I was a kid, my mom made a lot of my presents. Mom's presents were made with love and built to last. They weren't made out of cheap plastic parts that would break if I accidentally sat on them (I did that a lot). They weren't generic things that anyone could have. They were special. Later as I got older, Mom gave me other kids of personal gifts like homemade birthday cards with poems she had written. She made me an afghan when I went off to college, and she made my birthday cake nearly every year. Some of the best gifts she gave me were the memories we made together and the fun times we had. Mom never tried to prove her love with money and expensive gifts. She showed me she cared by investing herself into the things she gave me, and I got the message loud and clear.
It's OK to need someone to talk to, and it's OK to ask for help. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometimes, and that's OK. Mom's always there when I need to talk through a problem with equal amounts of sympathy and wisdom to share. Now that I'm all grown up, sometimes the sympathy and wisdom can go both ways, and that's a good thing. God created us to be social creatures for a reason, and we're stronger when we stick together. Even though we live in different states, my mom and I are still together in some really important ways, and that makes both of us stronger.
The truest love lasts a lifetime. It changes and evolves over the course of a relationships, but it doesn't fade. My mom's love for me wasn't confined to the years when I was tiny and adorable or even to the time when I needed her to meet all of my needs. She still loved me when I became independent and self-sufficient, and she still loves me today when I live far away and only call a couple of times a month. The love changes, but it stays strong, and I can count on it.

Happy birthday, Mom. You've taught me a lot, and I'm lucky to have you.

Scattering the Flock

2010-04-22T00:00:00.000-05:00

We all love the image of God as a tender and compassionate shepherd, defending His beloved flock against all threats. He makes us lie down in green pastures and leads us beside still waters. The only problem with this scenario is that we're the sheep—and sheep are stupid. Satan knows better than to come out openly and try to take us from the Shepherd by force. Instead, he tempts us into wandering off ourselves. Although Satan is powerless to actually harm us, he can scatter the flock because we are stupid enough to actually listen to him.

Satan has a few tricks up his sleeve, and I am sorry to say that I have found myself vulnerable to nearly all of them on occasion. Here are a few that I've recognized:

Fear. There is probably nothing quite as stupid as a panicked sheep. It will run off in any direction, helter-skelter, in a blind and unthinking attempt to get away. Satan can make us behave that way. Perhaps he threatens us with the fear of pain or death. Maybe he makes us fear our own futures or destinies. He may even make us afraid of the very Shepherd who loves and cares for us. But the moment we give into fear, our brains turn off. By the time we've finished running, we have no idea where we are or how to get back.

Restlessness. Satan convinces us that lying down in green pastures and being led beside still waters is boring. We come dissatisfied with our lot as one of the Shepherd's sheep. We begin to find this life confining, and we feel desperate to make a decision all on our own—even if it's a reckless one. We want to be independent and free. Isn't it better to do what we want, even if we end up living on a rocky crevice as a result instead of in the lush pasture? "Better to rule in Hell than serve in Heaven," Satan whispers, and we listen.

Despair. So many terrible things happen in this world. It's easy to feel sad, maybe even disillusioned about it all. Satan latches onto our despair and goads us into believing that suffering is all there is. What kind of God would allow such things to happen? Therefore there must not be a God—or He's too weak and indifferent to intervene. We listen to this lie and seems easier to believe than the truth of grace. We see the suffering before us now, so how can we believe that none of it is permanent? We see the power of death today, so how can we trust that Jesus has overcome us? Satan tries to reduce us to people who believe only the basest things that are right in front of us. We lose our faith and our hope, and one by one we wander off in dejection.

Anger. Sometimes life in the flock doesn't seem quite fair. Some sheep get to graze closer to the stream than others. We don't always get to go where we want to do or do what we want to do. Sometimes we even get into disagreements with the other sheep. Satan likes to encourage this discord. Whenever we feel dissatisfied or disenfranchised, he lends a falsely sympathetic ear. He encourages us to be indignant and convinces us that we need to look out for number 1. We get jaded and bitter, and we stop trusting the other sheep. Eventually we reject even the shepherd and we leave just so we can get away from the disappointment and annoyance of being with such disappointing companions.

In all honesty, these ploys only work because we are stupid. Satan preys on the emotions of the weak, and that, my friends, means you and me. All of us, like sheep, will go astray. It's inevitable.

But there's good news. God will leave all the other sheep to come and find us. After we've made asses of ourselves by giving into our ugliest urges, God will search us out and tenderly carry us back home. Satan can scatter us, but he cannot destroy us. God will keep rounding us back up again until the wonderful day when we no longer have any desire to stray. We won't always be stupid sheep. Someday we will be heirs of God in Heaven. Someday we will be like Jesus and Satan will have no power over us.

Until then, I suggest that we do two things:
1. Be on the lookout for Satan and his craftiness. Defy him as often as we can and avoid his snares by submitting to the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
2. When we do go astray, allow ourselves to be rescued. Let us cry out shamelessly for God like a lost sheep bleats when it's in trouble. When God comes to collect us, let us not struggle. Instead let us allow the Shepherd to gather us up in His arms and carry us back to the flock.

The Importance of Rules

2010-04-21T00:00:00.000-05:00

I just heard about a new parenting fad called "Unschooling". These parents sign their kids up for homeschooling, but then they let the kids do whatever they want during the day. Several of these families let the kids make all their own decisions about every aspect of their lives and have no household chores or rules. There's no discipline and no punishment because there are no rules to break. (I wondered what they would do if one of their kids started hitting another one, but no one brought that up in the interview.) The alleged point is for the kids to identify and pursue their own interests. Instead of being provided with a curriculum and textbooks, they are expected to find information about topics of interest themselves. It's a do-it-yourself education with complete and total independence.

I would like to take this moment to reflect on how lucky I was to grow up in a home with rules and to attend a school with at least a basic curriculum. My school wasn't the very best, and I had to learn many things on my own. Still, at least I had someone to show me the basics of a wide variety of topics. I didn't enjoy everything I learned, and some of the rules and chores at school and at home were tedious. Back then I probably would have loved the freedom not to have to do those things, but today I see the value in learning to do things that weren't necessarily fun. Unschool parents say their kids will do necessary tasks because they will see the value in doing them. I disagree. I think that I learned certain things were important only after I was first forced to do them. When I was ignorant and immature, I needed someone to tell me what to do so that I could learn enough to eventually make intelligent decisions for myself.

This might sound like a social/educational rant up until now, so let's introduce a religious element: the law. Some Christians would have you believe that we don't need the law for any reason and that like unschool kids, we should have the freedom to do whatever we think best. I say that freedom should come with maturity. Adults have more freedom than children, and once we learn the basics we don't have to worry about rules quite so much. Paul compares the law to a child's tutor—it teaches us about God and keeps us in line when we are still too spiritually immature to really understand what God wants from us. Once we become mature in our faith, we don't necessarily need the law to tell us what to do anymore because we know God well enough to figure that out without being explicitly told. We become sons and heirs, as Paul puts it.

You can't treat children like adults and expect good results. Children need rules to help them build a foundation that will allow them to make good decisions as adults. First we must learn before we can be turned loose to act according to our own judgment. The same is true for my Christian life. When I don't know God well enough to know how He wants me to act in a certain situation, I still fall back on the law. I look for a guideline in Scripture that will help me figure out what to do. Because I am not subject to any human religious tutor, I must enforce self-discipline and subject myself to the rules when I think I need them. I do that because I recognize that it is wise—good rules exist because they help us learn, not to make us needlessly jump through hoops. I'm OK with being told what to do when I don't know any better myself. I like rules if they lead me in a good direction. I would hate to think what would happen if I had to figure out everything about life, God, and love all on my own with no rules to guide me.

Skip Ahead to the Good Stuff

2010-04-20T00:00:00.000-05:00

I am not a terribly patient person. Sometimes I get bored with my life, and I start to feel like a child waiting for Christmas to come when it's only October. When is something fun and exciting going to happen? I wish my life were a movie so I could fast-forward to the best scenes. I want my life to be a collage of Hollywood moments, not a pedestrian drudgery only rarely interrupted by excitement. Can't I just skip ahead to the good stuff?

When I'm being reasonable, I realize that the highlights of my life aren't necessarily limited to the exciting events or the fun times. Sure, the vacations and weddings and holidays are great, but some of the most important moments in my life happened on the normal days. I had a casual conversation with someone and learned something important about our relationship. I saw a beautiful rainbow, had a creative breakthrough, or shared a special moment with someone I love. I felt inexplicably and incandescently happy in an otherwise ordinary moment. I gained some jewel of wisdom or shared an important piece of my own knowledge with someone else. I inspired someone to love God. I renewed my own commitment to Christ. I loved and was loved.

The special moments of my life don't always wait for special occasions. They don't necessarily announce themselves either, so I need to be sure I'm paying attention. I don't want to impatiently rush through my life trying to get to the good stuff and miss the wonderful things that are happening all around me every day. "Stop and smell the roses," the old saying goes. Pay attention. Appreciate. Experience. Enjoy. I don't need a special date to enjoy my husband's company or a vacation to notice the natural beauty around me. I don't need a party to have a good time or an earth shattering experience to gain valuable wisdom. I am growing and learning and having fun every day, and because of that each day is valuable. There's good stuff sprinkled through every day of my life, so if I tried to skip ahead, I might miss some of it.

Teams

2010-04-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

I realized last night that some of the most popular shows on television over the past few years focus on teams. Sure, each team has one or two stars and the rest are kind of the back-up, but the fans all have their favorite characters, and each character has a role to play. Consider the legal/crime fighting shows like Law and Order, CSI, or Castle (one of my favorites). Everyone on the team has a part to play in solving the mystery. There are also hospital dramas like Grey's Anatomy, House, or the long-running E.R. where teams of doctors have to diagnose strange illnesses and save lives in crazy situations. Even sitcoms like the hugely popular Friends, The Office, or Seinfeld follow the interactions and misadventures of a group of people whose lives are intertwined. As fans, we like to root for teams. We cheer for each person in the group as he or she makes unique contributions that lead to the team's success. Even the stars couldn't do as well on their own without a team. Every person, even the supporting cast, matters.

God designed us to work in teams. He endowed each of us with specific gifts that are maximized when they are combined with the gifts of others. Paul described the church as one body with many members—in essence a vast team in which every person is important. It can be hard to feel important when most of us feel like supporting cast members instead of the stars. But consider this—Jesus was divine and therefore fully capable of enacting his ministry on Earth without any help from anyone. Yet even he knew that his efforts would be better with a team, so he shared his ministry with his disciples. Later, he commissioned this motley group to lead his church after he had ascended to Heaven. Some of Jesus' followers have stood out more than others throughout history, but he entrusted his church to the entire group, not just the superstars. Every person is important, and that's why it's essential that we learn to work together.

I am personally a member of several different teams. I belong to several overlapping groups of family, friends, and loved ones. Together we help each other through the challenges of life and we inspire each other to grow and flourish. I am a member of a professional team that works to promote interest in a fine institution of higher learning. Together we attract first-rate students and faculty members to our school and inspire people to donate money to keep it going strong. I belong to a vocal choir and a hand bell choir where every voice and every pair of hands is needed to create a balanced blend of beautiful music. I am part of a thriving church community and a member of the larger body of Christ. None of these teams would be the same if I was not a part of them. Sure, they can all get by without me, but my contributions will be missed, especially until someone else is found to do some of the things I once did.

Even if the team can go on existing without us, that doesn't mean that we aren't important. We are all part of the team for a reason. Consider Bartholomew. I don't remember many stories about him, but Jesus must have chosen him to be one of the 12 for a reason. He was part of Jesus's ministry and a valued member of the team. Likewise, Paul got most of the glory during his many missionary journeys, but the contributions of Barnabas, Silas, and Timothy (among others) were invaluable. I think we all have our moments (few though they may be) when we get to be the star, but most of the time we're supporting members of the team. But that's OK, because we're still important.

The Most Excellent Way

2010-04-16T00:00:00.000-05:00

Because I love you,
     I give you all the time you need;
     I search for new ways to make you smile;
     I am thankful for every good thing in your life—even the ones I can't enjoy.

Because I love you,
     I am honest in our relationship;
     I can admit my mistakes and my shortcomings;
     I feel inspired to be the best version of myself—with you and with everyone else.

Because I love you,
     I share my belongings and my time;
     I focus on the big picture when problems arise;
     I am able to forgive you when you hurt me—as many times as it takes.

Because I love you,
     I choose right over easy;
     I have a foundation of joy that no hardships can destroy;
   I put up with all of your quirks and flaws—just like you put up with mine.

Because I love you,
     I have faith in you;
     I hope for a beautiful future filled with adventures and joy;
     I fight the darkness in this world with you by my side—and I'll never give up.

(I recently wrote this poem for some friends. It's loosely based on 1 Corinthians: 13, my favorite passage.)

Be Still

2010-04-15T00:00:00.000-05:00

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." (Psalm 46:1)

I frequently say that God is my refuge, but how often do I think about what they really mean? The concept of refuge goes beyond words and explanations. It is a feeling as deep as my soul's core, a truth as solid as the universe is broad. God is my refuge, my unshakable safe-haven, my constant companion, my boundless comforter.

I can try all day to explain the enormity and import of what this means and manage only to scratch the surface. So instead, I will take some good advice:

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

Today I will not write or reason or explain. Today I will be still and know that God is with me. I hope that you will take some time to do the same.

Chasing After the Wind

2010-04-14T00:00:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I feel a lot like King Solomon must have felt when he wrote Ecclesiastes. " 'Meaningless! Meaningless!' says the Teacher. 'Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.' " (Ecclesiastes 1:2) Solomon complains that there is "nothing new under the sun." We receive no lasting benefit from our toil, and all of us—the righteous and the wicked, the wise and the foolish—will arrive at the same fate. All of us are subject to misfortune and all of us will die. We will not be remembered when we are gone, and nothing we've worked for will last. Everything we try to do for ourselves is merely "chasing after the wind."

King Solomon had an amazing life. He was Israel's richest and wisest king, and he accomplished many things during his reign. Yet, he saw this work and even all of his pleasures as having no lasting meaning. I too have a comfortable life and a decent job, but I still feel like a hamster on a wheel. I go to work and I pay my bills, but what am I really achieving? What is the point? Is my life meaningless?

I think the answer is both yes and no. Solomon wrote that only God is capable of creating a lasting legacy. Our labors really are meaningless compared to God's. My life has no meaning on its own, but God can use His power to give it meaning. Solomon wrote that the best thing we can hope for is to eat and drink and enjoy our labor, even if it is meaningless, but only God can grant us that enjoyment. If we simply evaluate our own work, we will never be satisfied because everything we do is meaningless on the surface. If we consider our work as toil in service of God, however, then we can find enjoyment and peace in what we do. God will transform our work into something greater and weave it into His grand master plan. On our own, we can do nothing, but we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

It's hard to understand how my boring life could have meaning. Sometimes it's easy to think that I am utterly replaceable, that nothing I do is unique or essential. Nothing new under the sun. Still, God endowed me with this personality and these skills and put me into this life for a reason. What I do may be meaningless to everyone else, but apparently it matters to God. Solomon was wise, but God is even wiser. Perhaps Solomon saw his work as meaningless, but his words on the page are still helping people like me today, thousands of years after he died. Likewise, I cannot know all the ways in which I make a difference in the world around me. I might have said or done things that people will carry with them for the rest of their lives. My job may seem mundane, but I might write an article someday that convinces a brilliant young person to come to my alma mater, receive a first-class education, and go on to change the world. No matter how wise I am, I cannot accurately rate the meaning of my own life. Only God can do that.

If the purpose of my life is to chase after the wind, so be it. Perhaps Solomon would call that meaningless because, after all, you can't catch the wind. I can't take anything I earn here on Earth with me to Heaven, but perhaps the value is in the toil itself, not the spoils. Perhaps the greatest meaning is to be found in doing the work we've been given to do simply out of the joy of serving God. If God means for me to be here doing this work with these people, then I will do it with all my heart. If chasing after the wind is my destiny, then let me do it with joy—that then will be the meaning.

Universal and Personal

2010-04-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

One of the hardest things to understand about God is that He is simultaneously all-powerful and yet concerned with our well-being. Why would the most amazing entity in the universe care about us? How can God be so big and yet so close? We can't always confront this concept head-on, so we come up with lots of artistic ways to illustrate it. Some of my favorite hymns speak to the wonder that God is universal and yet personal.

Of the Father's love begotten
Ere the worlds began to be,
He is Alpha and Omega,
He the Source, the Ending He,
Of the things that are, that have been,
And that future years shall see
Evermore and evermore.

All things were created through Jesus; He is our mighty king. Yet he was begotten out of love, and love is his purpose for existing. God's acts of creation are not simply about power or even brilliance—they are about love. God made everything so that He could love it, perhaps even because He loved it before it existed. The God who is powerful enough to create the universe is also capable of knowing all of us inside and out. He is not only the beginning and the end—He is our beginning and end. God made us, and we cannot exist without Him.

Creator of the stars of night

Thy people's everlasting light

O Christ, redeemer of us all

We pray you hear us when we call

The amazing thing is that Christ will hear us. The one who has the power to help us actually does hear us and care about us! So often we simply cannot find any help on this Earth. We are invisible to those who have the means to help us, and the people who do love us are powerless to rescue us from our troubles. But God is different. Unlike people who often become hardened and uncaring as they amass power, God is both all-powerful and all-loving. The One who created the stars is our everlasting light, and He will hear us when we call.

This is frequently the most comforting truth that my faith has to offer. I rarely find love and power in the same place on Earth, so it is a huge relief to know that I have a personal God and Savior who has universal power—power to help me, and power to save me. God's power is not mine to demand at any time or manner of my choosing, but I trust Him to use it for my ultimate good. And that is why I can sleep at night.

Lord, I Believe; Help My Unbelief

2010-04-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

My faith is the cornerstone of my life, but that doesn't mean that I don't have doubts. I can believe many things with my mind, but my heart is not always convinced. My heart embraces other ideas thatt my mind cannot understand. My faith is imperfect because I am imperfect. Every once in a while, though, everything clicks together and I have peace. I understand the truth about God in my heart and my mind simultaneously. Those moments are precious gifts, and I long for more of them.

Lord, I believe that You came to Earth in human form and died so that I could be cleansed of my sin and be made worthy to live with You in Heaven. I know that this is a good thing (the best thing possible, in fact), but sometimes when I think about Heaven I get scared. I get this lurching feeling in the pit of my stomach because I can't comprehend the idea of forever. I have no idea what's in store for me in Heaven, so it scares me a little. Help me trust in the promise even though I can't understand it.

Lord, I believe that my marriage is part of Your plan, but I sometimes doubt whether my husband and I are really the best fit for each other. I worry that we might not be compatible enough to see each other through the many years ahead. Still, I know that we love each other very much and I trust that You put us together for a reason. Because I believe that You intend for us to be together, I am counting on You to help make our marriage work. Help me be the wife I should be and give me peace and courage to persevere through the bumps.

Lord, I believe that I have a purpose on this Earth and that You will use my talents for Your own glory. I can't always see that happening, and sometimes it seems like all my efforts are thwarted. I can't find the time and energy to do everything that I feel I should do, and often when I try to act on my calling, my words and actions seem to have little or no effect. I often feel impotent and unsuccessful, and I don't want to be a waste of time and space. I long to do good work for You. Help me live up to the plan You have for my life, and give me the wisdom to see how what I do matters to You.

Lord, I believe that You endowed me with this personality for a reason, but sometimes I feel that I need to change who I am. I don't always fit in well with other people, and I have crazy dreams and a restless spirit that are often at odds with my rather pedestrian life. Should I try to temper that part of myself, or did You put it here for a reason? Did You intentionally create me this way, or have I warped what You made? I wish you would tell me so that I knew what, precisely, to believe about myself.

Lord, I believe that you have a plan for this world and for my life, but it's too great for me to see or comprehend. It's so hard to trust in Your unseen design, especially when things are going wrong around me. People ask me how there could be a loving God when so many terrible things are happening to good and innocent people. I try to explain, and while the logic makes sense in my head, sometimes it seems hollow even to me. I love You and trust You, but it's hard to bear the sight of all this suffering. I can only imagine how heartbroken You must be watching it all, and I don't want to add to Your pain by doubting You. I love You, and I know You love us. Fortify my heart to trust in You, no matter what I see and experience on this Earth.

I believe, and I won't stop believing when I have doubts. Sometimes my faith is a bit rough around the edges, but it's strong at its core. The Holy Spirit will not leave me to struggle alone, and I have comfort in that.

Exposure Value

2010-04-09T00:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was in a digital photography class to learn how to use my new digital camera. It's my first single reflex lens camera, so I'm discovering how to use ISO, shutter speed, and aperture settings to change the type of shot I get. ISO (known as film speed in film cameras) determines how sensitive the camera's sensors are to light. Shutter speed determines how long the shutter stays open during an exposure. Aperture is how wide the front of your lens opens (like an iris) when you take a picture. Together, these variables determine how much light is captured by the camera during an exposure, and that's called the exposure value.

You need a certain exposure value in order for a picture to be properly lit, but there are lots of ways to get that film exposure. You could use many different combinations of ISO, shutter speed, and aperture settings to get the right amount of light for your pictures. Different combinations can radically change the type of picture you get. Do you want a wide depth of field or a shallow one? Do you want to show motion or freeze motion? Are you shooting with a tripod or by hand? So many choices, so many options. The beautiful thing is that photography is an art, and there is no one "right" choice. It's all a matter of the photographer's vision and what tools (lighting, tripod, flash, etc.) he or she has to work with.

Sometimes I think that faith is a lot like a good exposure value. The photographer is trying to achieve a well-lit picture, and we Christians are trying to achieve a close and loving relationship with God. Like the photographer, we have many different ways to get to that goal, and no one way is "right". These days, most Christian denominations have stopped short of claiming that they alone are doing Christianity the "right" way, and I think that's a positive development. After all, there are many gifts but the same Spirit, many individuals with unique personalities, but the same Christ. We all express our faith in different ways, just as two photographers may take completely different pictures of the same subject based on their artistic visions. None of us is perfect, and we all have limitations to overcome in our faith. Like a photographer caught without a flash or a tripod, sometimes we have to improvise. Some would call that wrong, but I think it's more wrong to not take the figurative picture at all.

The truth is that most of the religious choices we quibble over aren't spelled out in the Bible. I think God left many of the practical details of Christianity open so that all kinds of different people can practice in their own way. The Bible does not dictate how often we should take communion (or precisely with whom), whether we should sing and dance in church, or how long a worship service should last. We weren't explicitly told whether and how to ask other people to pray for us and whether it's OK to ask dead people (the saints) to pray for us too. We weren't told how to structure our hierarchy or the technical procedure for making decisions as a group. Jesus didn't tell us what to wear to church or teach us specific rituals for showing God respect.

Instead, Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and great commandment and the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself." That's the exposure value we're going for, but how we compose the shot is entirely up to each one of us.

All Creatures Great and Small

2010-04-08T00:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday afternoon I took a tour of a stretch of prairie owned by the college where I work. It was an interesting trip. The objective of the trip was to see some little flowers that are the first prairie flowers to bloom in the spring. They had fuzzy little leaves that helped protect them from the morning frosts. According to our guide, these little flowers are only around for a few weeks. I had never seen anything quite like them before. I saw a cactus—I didn't know there was a cactus native to Minnesota—and some other rare plants.We also saw some big holes where a badger had tried to dig some ground squirrels out of their dens. Then we found some pellets under a tree where owls and hawks like to perch, and the guide showed us the ground vole bones inside. I learned about how a glacier passed through the area and why the prairie where we stood was hilly while the surrounding farmland was flat. I noticed how big the sky really was and reveled in the beauty of the big, puffy clouds.

I'm not really a science girl. I don't spend much time thinking about this kind of thing. But being there on that prairie, —seeing those tiny plants, looking at the evidence of unseen animals, noticing the differences in the soil over only a few acres—it really hit home how many tiny details there are in the natural world around me. Most of the time I don't even notice this miraculous complexity.

What really amazes me is that God does notice everything. God understands all the tiny minutiae I generally overlook. In fact, He invented the entire system. I can't even comprehend that. God knows everything there is to know about prairie violets, cumulus clouds, ground voles, and you and me. God takes note of everything, even the things we think are trivial or periphery, and he also knows and remembers everything about us. Jesus told his disciples, "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. ⁷Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." (Luke 12:6–7)

The fact that God could create and manage such a wonderful creation makes me feel a lot more secure about the fact that He's watching out for me. If God understands nature, surely He also understands the workings of my complex heart. If he counts sparrows and numbers the hairs on my head, surely He will take good care of my soul. My God love all creatures great and small. That means it's pretty special that my fellow brothers and sisters and I are at the top of His very long list.

Mother Teresa's Daily Prayer

2010-04-07T00:00:00.000-05:00

Dear Jesus, help me to spread Thy fragrance everywhere I go. Flood my soul with Thy spirit and love. Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly that all my life may only be a radiance of Thine. Shine through me and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel Thy presence in my soul. Let them look up and see no longer me but only Jesus. Stay with me, and then I shall begin to shine as you shine, so to shine as to be a light to others.

—Mother Teresa of Calcutta

My choir is singing an adaptation of this prayer in our concert on Sunday. I had never heard it before, although I'm sure it must be famous. I was struck by the simple beauty of the words. What an unselfish wish—to desire nothing more than to be totally subsumed by the Spirit of God. Yet, Mother Teresa was wise enough to realize that by letting herself be filled with the presence of Jesus, she was in fact becoming the truest version of herself. Like Mother Teresa, I was created to be like Jesus, so when I let him fill me up, I am closest to what I was meant to be. By denying the peripheral parts of myself—my transitory needs, desires, and emotional baggage—I draw closer to my own true core. I want others to be able to see God in me because I was created in His image in the first place.

The idea that I am most myself when I am filled with the Spirit of God may seem like a paradox. Still, even when I am filled with the Spirit, I am still entirely myself. I am distinct from my brothers and sisters in Christ, even when they too are filled with the Spirit. I remain unique, but I am no longer driven by my own personality traits—instead I am guided by the will of God. God's power and love is channeled through my singular being, and at my best I would be filled with the Spirit of God and yet fully myself simultaneously, just as Jesus was God and man simultaneously.

I wish I understood how to be what Mother Teresa describes in her prayer, but I don't. I don't know how to be so much like God that people will look at me and stop seeing my flawed human form. After all, I am not the agent who can make this happen. That's why Mother Teresa had to pray—she knew that God was the one who would have to take the action to fill her with His spirit. She even needed God's help to be open to receiving His Spirit when He chose to bestow it. I am the same. I can no more call the Holy Spirit to me than I can summon rain. And yet, when the Spirit comes, I want to be ready. I want to make the most of it so that I can be a radiance to the rest of the world. I can't imagine being anything more beautiful than that.

My Eternal King

2010-04-06T00:00:00.000-05:00

I love Easter. Christ is risen, and with him our own hopes for the future. Still, for me Easter is about more than celebrating the fact that I have been given salvation and an eternity in heaven. What I gain is wonderful, but I'm also excited about what Jesus has gained. The good guy won, and that's worth celebrating all on its own. Jesus was the classic underdog—son of a carpenter, honest in spite of criticism, opposed by powerful enemies who fought dirty. But even when Jesus' enemies had him crucified in a travesty of justice, they still couldn't keep him down. Three days later he rose from the grave. There's no denying that Jesus would be a hero even if he wasn't my own personal hero.

During this Easter season, I'm happy for myself, but I'm also happy for Jesus. Everything turned out brilliantly for him in the end, and of all the people who ever lived, he most deserves a happy ending. Like Mary Magdalene, I am happy that Jesus is alive because I love him, not just because his victory is also mine. I would be lucky if Jesus loved me only half as much as I loved him, to say nothing of the reality of his all-encompassing grace. It's a privilege to love him simply because he is so good and so worthy of my love.

My Eternal King
My God, I love thee;
Not because I hope for heav'n thereby,
Nor yet because who love thee not must die eternally.
Thou, O my Jesus, thou didst me upon the cross embrace;
For me didst bear the nails and spear and manifold disgrace.
Why, then why, O blessed Jesus Christ, should I not love thee well?
Not for the hope of winning heaven, or of escaping hell;
Not with the hope of gaining aught, not seeking a reward;
But as thyself hast loved me, O ever-loving Lord!
E'en so I love thee, and will love, and in thy praise will sing;
Solely because thou art my God, and my Eternal King.
(anonymous 17th-century poem, translated from Latin by Edward Caswall)

No Appointment Necessary

2010-04-05T00:00:00.001-05:00

College is very different from the "real world" we live in as adults. One of the things I liked best about college was having access to so many friends. It was considered acceptable to drop by a friend's room unannounced any time you had a reasonable expectation that they would be there and awake. I didn't have to call first or make an appointment. I could just show up, and that wasn't considered an invasion of my friend's space or privacy.

In the "real world" there aren't many people whom I can visit without calling first. In fact, until someone specifically invites me to his or her home, I can't visit at all. In college I could simply look my friends up on the directory and stop by their rooms, and that was OK. Not so in adulthood. There are stricter personal boundaries that must be observed. For the most part, I may interact with others only in mutually agreed upon times and places.

I understand the need for privacy. I really do. At the same time, I hate the walls that we build around ourselves to keep others at a distance. I like the spontaneous connections that remind me that other people are thinking about me. Once a friend of mine turned up unexpectedly while I was hosting a dinner for someone else. I had to turn my friend away because I was busy, but I'm not sorry he stopped by. In fact, I hope he does it again, because I'm certainly not going to be busy every time he shows up. I wish I could have more interactions with the people I love, even if they are fleeting. I wish I could stop by and say hello even if I can't stay. I wish that sort of thing wasn't so awkward.

This weekend I decided to give spontaneity a try. I am friends with two young couples who live very close to me, and both of them have invited me into their homes before. I found myself with a surplus of cupcakes, so I decided it would be OK to stop by their homes unannounced to offer them cupcakes. This experiment turned out marvelously. The first set of friends I visited were in the midst of cooking dinner, and they were quite happy to see me. We had a nice chat, and they told me I was welcome to stop by any time, especially when I had cupcakes to share. My friends at the second house had just taken a pizza out of the oven, and they invited me to stay for dinner. We called up my husband and asked him to join us, and they even called the friends I had visited first, and we all watched a movie together. Two spontaneous visits and some cupcakes turned into a very pleasant evening for six people, and it restored my faith in my ability to defy the rigid boundaries that society so often observes.

I know that I can't do this sort of thing with just anyone. I'm still going to limit these little visits to good friends who have invited me into their homes before. Although I may wish I could turn up anywhere with happiness to share, I know I have to work within basic social norms so that I don't make people uncomfortable. I want to have contact with others without alarming them, so I have to take it slow. Still, I am so lucky to have friends like the ones I visited on Saturday night. These are people who are OK with me stopping by unannounced, people who were willing to share their time (and even their pizza) with me. Friendships like those are one of my greatest goals in life, so sometimes a little thing like an evening with friends can make all the difference.

What Wondrous Love Is This?

2010-04-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

Most of the time, as a Christian, I concentrate on the resurrection instead of the crucifixion. Death and suffering are no longer permanent or final. When I approach the story of Jesus' trial and death, I know how it will end—with his triumphant rising three days later. Jesus' death was a calculated move, a price he considered acceptable for the salvation he could win for all people by doing it. It seems reasonable when I look at it that way. But what really happened goes far beyond the limits of reason.

Jesus chose to die so that he could achieve an outcome he wanted, but the outcome was entirely for someone else—for us. Jesus' immortality was never at stake. He didn't need to win salvation for himself. He is already fully God and is therefore perfect within himself and lacking nothing. But God loves us, so He chooses to make sacrifices in order to achieve good for us. Jesus died so that we could live, and the only direct benefit he got from it was the joy of knowing what he had done for us.

How many of us make serious sacrifices entirely for the benefit of other people? Sure, I give my time and money to other people. Sometimes I give time and money I don't feel entirely comfortable parting with, but I always keep enough back to take care of myself. Would I give a kidney to someone who needed it? Probably. I can live without one of my kidneys. Would I volunteer to die so that someone else could have my heart? That's a different question entirely. There are heroes among us who are willing to sacrifice their lives for other people, but we still have trouble really comprehending the enormity of that concept. We say we would walk through fire for the people we love, but do we understand what that really means? Can we visualize the burns and imagine the pain? Are we really willing to endure something like that for others if we get no direct personal benefit from the sacrifice? Jesus was willing, and that is why we have a future. What wondrous love, indeed!

What wondrous love is this, O my soul, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this that caused the Lord of bliss
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul, for my soul,
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul!

Fishing with God

2010-04-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

I've never been able to understand or accept the image some people have of an angry God. I don't remember ever being afraid of God. I've been afraid of disappointing God, but I've never worried that He would retaliate against me for making mistakes. For some reason, I've always seemed to understand that God's love for me is tender and nurturing, not stern and demanding. I know that God has disciplined me sometimes, and I've heard his voice admonishing, "Stop that!" in my head when I was doing something I shouldn't. But I knew that God wouldn't stay upset with me. He was just getting my attention so that I would stop doing harmful things, and then He would encourage and support me as I made better choices.

God is my Father and my Friend. When He convicts me of my sin, it is because He doesn't want to see me hurt myself or others. He wants me to understand that I need to come to Him for forgiveness so that I can be healthy and whole again. My spiritual well-being is what's most important to God, and He makes it the focus of our relationship. Because I know He cares about me so much, I can trust Him when I feel vulnerable. When I was young, sometimes when I was upset I would crawl into bed and imagine that I was curling up to sleep on God's lap. I knew that He would stay with me all night long and give me peaceful dreams. When I was hurt, I told Him all about it, because I knew He cared even if no one else did.

I would like to share a poem that was published in my high school's literary magazine. I don't know the author well and can't conjecture about why he wrote it. It's a simple poem, and on the surface it might even seem a little flippant, but I have always loved this poem because it resonates so strongly with my own concept of a kind, approachable God.

Fishing with God
by Teague Quillen

We walk for about a quarter mile,
and turn down a dirt road.

I try and think of questions to ask,
like where's Heaven, what's it like,
and how do I get there.

But I remain silent while we
toss a line into the stream, and
He quietly hums, "California Dreamin'."

"So," I finally mutter, "does everyone get to Heaven?"
"Just those who want to," He says as he lights his cigar,
"If they want to, they try and go, simple as that."

I return my gaze to the water, just as the Lord
hooks a smallmouth. "Nice one!" I say.
He smiles and puffs on his cigar.

He puts His hand on my shoulder,
and I hook one, too.

The Logic of Love

2010-03-31T00:00:00.000-05:00

Sometimes love feels like a moral obligation. I'm supposed to love because God told me to, and I'll feel guilty if I don't. At other times love feels like a drug. I need that emotional high to get me through a trying time. Occasionally love can even feel like something I do because I can't choose not to, a hardwired trait that I can't refuse. Skeptics and cynics might say that I love because I'm whipped, I'm weak, or I'm brainwashed. But that's not the whole story. Love is also a logical—it's a choice that makes sense even in a Darwinian world. I don't simply love because I can't help it; I love because I recognize that it's a good choice.

Love is what allows true teamwork to exist. When I join with the people I love, I am stronger than I could ever be alone. These people help me carry burdens (physical and emotional) that are too heavy for me to carry alone. We are sounding boards for each other, and we become smarter together than we would be alone. Some may say that teams can be put together with money or intimidation, but nothing inspires loyalty like love. The people on my team will do their very best for me because they love me, and they won't abandon me when things get hard to look for a better deal. The people on my team aren't just looking out for number one—because we all care about each other, all of our interests are better served. By loving others and accepting their love, I am providing the best possible allies for myself. Being an ally for these people in return is a perfectly reasonable price to pay. Everybody wins.

Some people try to reject love because it comes with risks—the people we love can disappoint or betray us. They might not love us back the same way we love them. They might not want the same kind of relationship we want. They might not be able to help us in the ways we need or want. But those types of risks are unavoidable, whether we love or not. As a flawed human, I cannot succeed at every task I set for myself. Even if I live as a hermit in a cave, I'm going to be disappointed sometimes. Even if I don't have any friends to hurt me, I'll probably get all jaded about the meaning of life as a byproduct of being alone. I don't think the mental anguish of loneliness could be preferable to the pain of heartbreak. Love isn't perfect, but that's because life isn't perfect. If we reject love because it hurts, we'll end up having to reject everything in life for the same reason. We're going to get hurt anyway, so we might as well enjoy the benefits of love.

I think that the benefits of love always outweigh the cost. Even when I love a friend who can't trust me, an acquaintance who doesn't have the time or inclination to be my friend, or struggling individuals who drain me of my energy but can't contribute much in return. Loving them doesn't necessarily mean that I can do everything they want of me or that I can get everything I want from them. It just means that when there is tension in the relationship, I don't have to squelch that love, even if it feels hopeless. There's always some benefit, some character-building payoff that makes it worth it, even if I have trouble finding it at the time. My choice to love is logical, even if I can't prove all the reasons why. I don't love because I'm incapable of making a better choice. I love because I truly believe it is the best and smartest choice out there.

Everything's Gonna Be Fine, Fine, Fine

2010-03-30T00:00:00.000-05:00

I really appreciate the little things that help me feel better about my life. Not everything is going perfectly today, but I still feel OK. The sun is shining, I'm getting things done, and I have a smile in my heart. Every time I have to deal with a problem, it's easy to find something beautiful or special in my life to help me feel better. God gives me so many blessings that my joy can never be completely depleted.

As I thought about this, Alanis Morissette's song "Hand In My Pocket" came to mind. Not all of the lyrics apply to me, but the opening describes how I feel today rather well, so I'll post it here:
I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful, baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

There are some things about me and my life that are less than ideal. But there are also plenty of things that are great. Sure, I'd like to have more money and more energy. It would be great if I could change some things about myself or if some of my problems would disappear. On the other hand, I don't need all those things in order to be happy. I have great friends and a supportive family. I'm surrounded by beauty and love, and God has given me a hopeful spirit. Things aren't perfect, but they're still good.

What it all comes down to is that everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine—
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is entwined with God's.

Whiplash

2010-03-29T00:00:00.000-05:00

Sometimes life can give you whiplash. One minute everything's going fine, and the next thing you know disaster strikes. A period of misery is interrupted by an unexpected burst of pure joy. It's easy to see why some people think our lives are ruled by chance—everything can change so quickly. Our lives can be as unpredictable as the weather, and we never know for sure what's going to happen next.

Even Jesus wasn't immune to life's whiplash (although he at least saw it coming). Yesterday as I sat in church, I was struck once again by the jarring transition between Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem and his crucifixion only days later. Palm Sunday drives the dichotomy home—we start out singing hosannas, but ten minutes later we're listening to an account of the Passion. The service is even stopped in the middle so the paraments on the altar can be changed from Lent colors to Good Friday colors. The congregation is unceremoniously thrust from celebration into mourning and expected to keep up.

In the eyes of the people, Jesus went from a celebrity to a detested blasphemer in only a few days. If that can happen to the Son of God, imagine how much more quickly our own fortunes can change. When I wake up each morning, all sorts of things could happen to me before I go back to bed at the end of the day. I could find miraculous joy or face unexpected sorrow. Really, there's only one thing I can count on, and that's the same thing Jesus counted on—God.

Jesus's life might have changed a great deal in his last week, but God's love and plan for him did not change. I have the same promise that God will stay with me no matter what happens in my life. Things will change, but God will not. He is a constant, and He is always working for my good, even when life feels out of control. God was with Jesus when he rode into Jerusalem, and He was with Jesus when he hung dying on the cross. Likewise, God is with me every day of my life, looking for ways to help me face the challenges that come my way and ready to bring me home when it's all over. No amount of whiplash can shake God loose, and that's a comforting thought.

Making It

2010-03-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

A few nights ago, I was chatting with a friend at a social function. We ended up discussing some of the financial pressures that we 20-somethings face: paying off undergrad loans, housing payments, and grad school expenses. Sometimes it can be really hard at the beginning, when we start out under such a huge pile of debt. "Sometimes I kind of wish I could miraculously figure out how to win the lottery," he said. I smiled, because the same thought has crossed my mind many times. I even buy Powerball tickets every now and then. "Me too," I replied, "but I don't think God will make it that easy for me."

I can tell you right now what I would do if I won some crazy mega-millions jackpot tomorrow. I would pay off my house instead of selling it, pay off my car, and pay off all of our student loans, including my husband's pile of grad school debt. I would pay for some much-needed repairs on my mom's house and give my sister the money for a bigger place. Then I'd give money to pay off my church's mortgage on our fellowship hall addition and give a big chunk of money to my alma mater towards their Arts Union building project (and maybe later for a new music building). I'd set up a foundation to help me share my money with worthy charities. Then—let's face it—I'd probably spend plenty on myself. I'd go visit my Dad in China. In fact, I'd travel all kinds of places all over the world. I'd see more operas, plays, and concerts and eat more high-end cuisine. I'd quit my job so I could write full-time, and I'd throw time and money after learning new skills and enjoying more hobbies.

What I have described above is a bit of a fairy tale, and I don't really think that God put me on this Earth to live a charmed life. That's what Heaven is for. Here, I'm supposed to learn things, to grow, and to develop a stronger Christian character. Hardships are to be expected—they are the fire that will refine me. God is blessing my life, but He's giving me blessings that help me persevere and become a better person in the process, not blessings that allow me to coast through without trying very hard. Sometimes, like my friend, I really do want God to just give me an easy way out of this mess, but I know He has good reasons for withholding that kind of divine intervention.

I told my friend that I expected I might never actually get ahead, but as long as I'm making it, everything's fine. No, I don't have a big nest egg saved up for the rainy days ahead, but I am paying all my bills on time and leading a reasonably comfortable life. Things aren't always easy, but I don't really have too much to complain about. The future is scary sometimes, but in the present I'm making it, and I consider that to be nothing less than a gift from God.

Advice to a Younger Me

2010-03-25T00:00:00.000-05:00

I work in a college publications office, and right now I'm working on a story in which a group of alumni offer advice to their 18-year-old selves. I'm asking alumni of various ages what they would have told themselves if they could go back in time to that moment when they were first heading off to college. As of today, I haven't received many responses. The alumni I've spoken to about it are having a hard time coming up with an answer to such an open-ended question. Several of them are enthusiastic about participating in the project, but they've asked for more time to ponder their responses.

It really is a hard question, and that's why I thought it might be interesting to try to answer it myself. What would I tell my 18-year-old self?

Everything that you love isn't going to be there forever, but that's OK. You're going to love so many people and places and things that the loss of one doesn't have to be devastating. Invest in what you love, and trust that as you make more of those investments, the risk of each one lowers.
You don't have to be naive to trust people. You can trust others knowing full-well that they will probably hurt you at some point. You're going to get hurt whether you trust people or not, so you might as well reap the benefits that come from trust.
Stop worrying about boys. Eventually you're going to find one who likes you the way you are. After you're married, even he will start to find things to criticize about you, but by then that sort of thing won't bother you quite so much anymore.
Don't be so shy. The more you smile at people, the better their impression of you will be. Just relax and don't be afraid to talk to people.
Everything changes as you grow. Things you can't even imagine will come to pass, and problems that seem huge now will eventually fade. Don't freak out if you can't see what the future holds—the future will come and find you when the time is right.
It's OK to be a little adventurous. Do some things that feel a little crazy (although you should try to stick to fun-crazy and bizarre-crazy, not dangerous-crazy or harmful-crazy). Enjoy being free-spirited now, because it gets harder to get away with it as you get older.
Tough times are coming, but I promise you're going to make it through. You'll be a better and happier person on the other side.
God is with you, whether you can feel Him or not. Don't get scared when you don't know where He is or what He's doing. You'll be able to look back and see His hand in your life in retrospect. I promise He will never leave you.

The funny thing is that when I look back over this list, I realize that I haven't fully mastered these lessons yet. These are all things that I didn't really know when I was 18 years old, but they're still applicable advice for me today. I can celebrate all that I have learned since I entered college while still recognizing that I struggle with many of the same core challenges (although perhaps in different ways). In some ways, my 18-year-old self has some good advice to offer me. She can remind me not to repeat the mistakes of the past and to rediscover some of the vivacity and joy that I have lost as I've grown older.

A bonus challenge to my readers:
What advice would you give your 18-year-old self? Feel free to share by leaving a comment.

Can

2010-03-24T00:00:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been frustrated with my shortcomings. Why can't I keep up with more tasks and facts without forgetting things? Why can't I work more efficiently? Why can't I control my emotions better? Why can't I perform on a higher level? Why don't I have more or better talents? Why don't I have more resolve or perseverance? What's wrong with me?

Over the years I've learned that this sort of negativity isn't really going to help me. Getting frustrated about my shortcomings will not help me overcome them. Instead it will make me feel defeated and incompetent, and I will be less likely to improve than if I just cut myself a little slack. After all, just because I don't do everything perfectly doesn't mean I'm a useless failure. When I'm having a rough time, my flaws look greater than my strengths, but I realize that objectively that's not true. Having shortcomings doesn't diminish my talents, and those talents can even help me overcome my shortcomings if I give them their due.

So as I sit here trying to dig myself out of the pit of my inadequacies, I want to take a moment to remind myself that there are things I can do well, even now when I'm not necessarily operating at my best. As a matter of fact, I'm going to make a (non-exhaustive) list:

I can be a good friend. I don't always succeed at being a good friend, it's true, but I have the traits and character of a good friend in my heart. I can commit to people I love and I can make the right choices to be the kind of friend they need and enjoy. When I mess up in a friendship, it's just a transitory thing—it's not because I'm incapable of being a good friend.
I can dance. I have both the skills and the courage to dance (as long as it's social dancing—you won't catch me club dancing any time soon). I have hips, and I really can use them. I have decent posture and reasonably light feet when I'm in the right mood. I may not have all the moves, but I have the attitude, and that counts.
I can make a good mix CD. I realize that this is a subjective statement, but many people have enjoyed my mix CDs and complimented me on them. I'm pretty good at figuring out what kind of music someone will like and ordering the songs in an aesthetically pleasing way. I also have the motivation to make mix CDs, and I hope that this is a small but meaningful thing I can do to brighten a friend's day.
I can learn from books. I'm a quick learner, and sometimes reading about things and trying them out for myself works as well as a formal education structure. I'm good at finding resources to teach myself how to do things, and I don't usually need a lot of supervision or one-on-one help when I'm learning something.
I can sing. Even when I get nervous or there's a little gunk in my throat, I can usually manage to make a sound that the average person finds pleasing when I sing. I have the ability to touch people with my singing, and for some reason they respond very well to my voice. I'm happy that I can make them so happy just by singing.
I can sleep. I go to sleep pretty easily and quickly most nights, and I can sleep through a reasonable amount of noise or even sunlight. When something does wake me up, I'm often able to go back to sleep right away. This is an invaluable trait for someone whose body needs sleep as much as mine does!
I can keep an organized to-do list. I do forget things sometimes, but chances are if I write it down in my planner, it WILL get done. I can prioritize my commitments and get things done in a reasonably orderly and efficient manner.
I can do the crab walk. This might sound stupid, but for someone who's always been bad at all things physical, it's really heartening to have one thing in my workout classes that I can do better than anyone else. I couldn't crab walk very well in elementary school, but I can do it now!
I can trust that God has a plan, even when circumstances are driving me crazy. I get annoyed with God sometimes for not being more forthright with me, but I don't lose faith in His goodness or His plan. Even when I feel separated from God, I still believe that He's here looking after me in His own way.

Some of these things may seem small and insignificant, but they remind me that I am a complex person with both good and bad traits (and both good and bad days). I'm not always at my best, but there are always things I can do. I am never helpless or worthless, because God has given me gifts to see me through. Sometimes the smallest things can remind me that I am a special child of God, and I really appreciate that. So even though there are things I can't do (or do well) today, I know that's not the whole story.

Promises, Promises

2010-03-23T00:00:00.000-05:00

The world is full of broken promises. Husbands and wives break marriage vows, business partners breach contracts, and teenagers break agreed-upon curfews. In fact, we consider it a rare and powerful thing when a promise is kept because we are so jaded by lies and failures. All of us break promises, both intentionally and by mistake, and I myself am no exception. When we get right down to it, there is only one being in the entire cosmos who has a perfect record of keeping promises: God.

Consider a few examples from the Bible:

God fulfilled his promise to Abraham by leading the people out of captivity in Egypt and into the Promised Land. "He brought out Israel, laden with silver and gold, and from among their tribes no one faltered. Egypt was glad when they left, because dread of Israel had fallen on them. He spread out a cloud as a covering, and a fire to give light at night. They asked, and he brought them quail and satisfied them with the bread of heaven. He opened the rock, and water gushed out; like a river it flowed in the desert. For he remembered his holy promise given to his servant Abraham. He brought out his people with rejoicing, his chosen ones with shouts of joy." (Psalm 105:37–43)

When King Solomon was dedicating the first temple, he proclaimed, "Praise be to the LORD, who has given rest to his people Israel just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave through his servant Moses." (1 Kings 8:56)

Jesus promised that the apostles would receive the Holy Spirit. Sure enough, the Day of Pentecost came and they spoke in tongues as they were filled with the Spirit. Peter explained to the astonished crowd, "God has raised this Jesus to life, and we are all witnesses of the fact. Exalted to the right hand of God, he has received from the Father the promised Holy Spirit and has poured out what you now see and hear." (Acts 3:32–33) In fact, Peter told them that the promise of the Holy Spirit was for them, too. "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call." (Acts 3:38–39)

Paul also reminded his readers over and again that God's promises of redemption and eternal life through Jesus were for everyone. "He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit." (Galatians 3:14) In fact, Paul calls us "children of the promise" (Galatians 9:8). Paul considered God's promises to be sure—in fact they were the only thing upon which a Christian could truly depend.

It's true that I don't always trust people to keep their promises, but I need to understand that God is different from people. God is going to keep His promises even when other loved ones don't. God will love me and stick with me, and His redemption is not conditional. All I have to do is accept the gifts He gives me—I don't have to earn them. My conduct doesn't change God's promises. He keeps them in His own time, but He always keeps them. In a world of uncertainty, I'm glad I have this one thing to count on.

Platforms

2010-03-22T00:00:00.000-05:00

I've recently been researching the nonfiction book market, specifically the Christian living/inspirational market. Apparently competition is very fierce in nonfiction, and having good content isn't always enough to get you published. When you try to sell a novel, agents and publishers want to know about your story—if it's good enough, they can market it effectively no matter who you are. In the non-fiction market, however, the identity of the author can be even more important than the content of the book. A nonfiction author needs a platform in order to demonstrate his or her ability to sell the book.

There are two parts to a platform. First, platforms are about qualifications. Do you have an advanced degree or an extensive professional history in the subject you're discussing in your book? Are you already an established and successful writer? Are you paid to speak on the topic? As I browsed through the Christian Living section of a local bookstore, I saw books by pastors, founders of urban ministries, university professors, clinical psychologists, motivational speakers, and even bestselling novelists. Each of them had professional qualifications to demonstrate their competence in writing a nonfiction book about Christian living.

The second part of a platform is about name recognition and popularity. In order for a non-fiction author to be considered a good investment, he or she must already have a large following that a publisher can exploit to get the word out about the book. Publishers want nonfiction authors who are considered experts in their fields and therefore appear on television and radio programs. Even better are authors who host their own television or radio programs. Already-established writers are great, even if they've been writing in a different genre previously. Bloggers with lots of followers or professionals with a whole host of connections are marketable. Any sort of fame—even being related to someone famous or having been present at a memorable historic event—can be exploited to promote a nonfiction book. In order to know whether they can sell your nonfiction book, publishers and agents need to know if they can sell you.

Unfortunately, we sometimes worry that we need a platform for life. We hesitate to step forward to get involved, to share our opinions, or to step forward for leadership because we don't feel we have a platform. How can we be leaders or give advice if we don't have extensive personal qualifications? How can we really share our knowledge if there aren't many people who are currently paying attention to us? Who will "buy" what we have to offer if we can't sell ourselves?

The good news is that Christian life isn't like book publishing. In order to fully participate in the Christian community, the only platform we need is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit qualifies us to teach, preach, or lead in whatever ways God has called us, no matter what background we have. In addition, the Holy Spirit moves others to listen when God has something He wants to say through us. When Jesus himself first began to teach, he didn't have a platform. He was the unknown son of a carpenter, and as far as we know he didn't have any advanced formal theological training. Still, people listened to Jesus because he spoke the true Word, and he quickly gained a following. Likewise, when we allow the Holy Spirit to speak through us, we have all the platform we need. God's people will be drawn to our words because they are true, not because of who we are.

It's difficult to escape from the judgmentalism of a world that says we have to be someone special in order to do something special. Recognizing that God himself provides the platform for the work He wants us to do is a huge relief. We don't have to try to live up to the world's expectations because God is giving us the tools and help we need to live up to His expectations. Publishing platforms are about who you know and what you've done, but your ability to do God's work is based solely upon your loving relationship with Him.

Mary and Martha

2010-03-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

Mary, Martha, and Lazarus were good friends with Jesus. The gospels record that he stayed with them several times during his ministry—Jesus even raised Lazarus from the dead. Mary and Martha had very different personalities, and Jesus' interactions with them show that he must have loved them both very much.

The first story about Mary and Martha features Jesus teaching a group of men in their home. Martha is being a good hostess, preparing food and serving the group. She's feeling irate because Mary isn't helping. Mary is captivated by Jesus and his message, and she's sitting with the men listening to Jesus talk. Social conventions dictate that Mary should be helping Martha serve, but when Martha mentions this to Jesus, he defends Mary's right to sit and listen with the men.

Later, Jesus is back at his friends' house after having raised Lazarus from the dead. No one else knows yet, but Jesus is about to go into Jerusalem to meet his death. Jesus, Lazarus, and his friends are having dinner. Once again, Martha is serving. But Mary is about to violate another social norm. She comes in with a pound of costly perfume worth three years' wages and bathes Jesus' feet with it. Then she lets down her hair and wipes Jesus' feet with it. This time it's Judas who criticizes Mary for wasting such an exorbitant sum on Jesus' feet, but Jesus still defends her. He says she has anointed him for his burial and that her act of love would always be remembered. What was the monetary worth of the perfume compared to the intensity of Mary's love when she used it to honor Jesus?

I have a little bit of both Martha and Mary in me. I realize that work needs to be done and that it's not always glorious or exuberant. I know that social constructs exist for a reason. But sometimes, like Mary, I just want to throw caution into the wind and do whatever my heart is moved to do. Even Mary couldn't be joyfully impulsive all the time, and I'm sure that most of the time she was right there with Martha doing pedestrian (and socially acceptable) tasks. But when she allowed herself to be free, she made a difference. Mary made history because her love was so passionate that it couldn't be contained by social rules. She was fearless and extravagant in her display of love for Christ, and I wish more than anything that I could emulate her in that.

I want to be like Mary, but most of the time I feel I have to be more like Martha. Work needs to be done, after all, and if not for the Marthas in this world, who would do it? But my soul yearns for the moment when I can choose to be free, like Mary, and I can break away from propriety and work and let my spirit do what it wishes. I want to love others without restraint and defy the rules that dictate how I can appropriately show my feelings. I want to give the people I love extravagant gifts. I want to love with my whole heart without fear of embarrassment or overstepping. I want to find moments of freedom and joy and embrace them, as Mary did.

I know that most of the time I must be content to show my love through diligent service, like Martha. I just hope that when the opportunity comes along, I will choose "the better part" as Mary did. It's comforting to know that Jesus will understand and support me if I do something crazy out of love and joy. I feel afraid to fully be myself most of the time because I don't want to defy the rules, but I know that sometimes the rules are meant to be broken. When the right time comes, I will probably end up doing something that seems crazy, just like Mary did, and I hope I feel the same incredible love and joy that she must have felt when she was pouring all that expensive perfume on the feet of her beloved Lord.

Rescue Me

2010-03-18T00:00:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I get tired of trying to work out my problems, and I wish that a knight on a big white horse would come riding up to rescue me. I don't need a real knight, of course, but I do want someone to make my problems disappear. Here in the real world, though, I find that all-out rescues are in short supply. There isn't some valiant hero waiting to save me from whatever mess I'm in, and no one is going to carry me out of the depths of my own hurt or exhaustion. There aren't very many white knights in my life's story, but there is God.

The problem with God is that His rescue missions don't always make sense to me. Sometimes I can't even tell what He's doing (or if He's doing anything to help me at all). Is God going to rescue me or not? Sometimes God's help is so subtle that I don't even recognize it when it comes. Sometimes God's rescue plan involves a variety of nondescript elements that blend together to become a perfect solution for my problem. Sometimes God sends outside help, and sometimes God works inside me to give me the power to overcome. Occasionally God even lets me be struck down by my adversary, but when that happens, He's always there to help me rise up again afterward. The rescue doesn't always come in the time or manner I'd most prefer, but eventually it does come. God never leaves me alone in times of trouble.

I've discovered that there are some strategies God uses fairly frequently to rescue me when I get into trouble. They don't always seem that significant on their own, but I've learned to recognize them as blessings from God.

Prophets. Sometimes I just need some good advice. I think that God sometimes sends people across my path who can say exactly what I need to hear at the moment when I need to hear it. These people help me find my way when I'm lost and confused and provide solutions to puzzling problems. The prophets may not solve my problems for me, but they help me find the way to do it myself.
Companions. Two are better than one. Some problems that are too big for me to handle alone become manageable when I have someone to help me. Even sorrows that weigh me down can be eased when a friend comes along to sympathize with me and help me find my lost hope. People don't always appear out of the woodwork at exactly the moment that I need them, but God has put people in my life on whom I can call when I get into trouble. They may not come riding up to rescue me, but these people will work alongside me to help get difficult jobs done.
Inner strength. A lot of people think it's stupid to credit God with my own resolve, toughness, and perseverance, but I don't. There's a big difference between a talented athlete and a talented athlete using performance enhancing drugs. Likewise, God fuels me up to be more than I could be on my own. When things are hard and I want to give up, God whispers to me that I can make it, and somehow I carry on. When I think things are too difficult, God can give me a boost more powerful than an adrenaline rush. When I don't think I have enough in me to make it, God gives me more.
Perspective. Every so often, a still small voice whispers to me that my problems aren't as important as I think they are. So what if I fall? So what if I fail? God has given me a million tomorrows, and He makes each of them new with His boundless grace and mercy. Some challenges will best me, but my failures don't matter much in comparison with God's love. Every time I make a mess, God will be there to help me clean it up and move on. That's better than any temporary rescue.

Don't get me wrong. Sometimes I still want my knight on a white horse. Right now I'm asking God why this can't be easier. Don't I deserve to be carried off to safety once in a while? I suppose God will do that, in the end. But for now He's got me here in this tumultuous world for a reason, and I won't get a chance to live my life and learn from it if some handsome knight carries me away before I have the chance to face the challenge myself. I may want to be rescued, but I already have what I truly need—God.

Comparisons

2010-03-17T00:00:00.000-05:00

Comparisons can be dangerous for Christians. It can be a useful tool when applied carefully, but all too often when lose our perspective when we compare. We focus so much on the comparison itself that we forget the larger context. If we give comparisons too much power, they will run away with us and completely distort our lives.

Envy feeds off comparison. Most of the time I am very happy to have a modest, comfortable home, a working automobile, and a job that pays my bills, but when I compare myself to some friends who have received large sums of money from their well-off parents, I suddenly feel a lot less happy about my situation. When I look in the mirror and consider only myself, I often feel quite comfortable with my body, but if I start to think about how I look in comparison to others, I might feel insecure instead. I have a beautiful singing voice, but I sometimes feel intimidated by people who have particular musical skills that exceed mine. Without the comparisons, I am perfectly happy with what I have, but when I start comparing what I have to what everyone else has, envy creeps in and poisons all of the good gifts God has given me.

Comparisons also contribute to arrogance. What does it really matter if I have more possessions than someone else? It is only by the good grace of God that I have those things, and I could lose them all tomorrow through no fault or virtue of my own. Instead of feeling superior to others, I should share what I have with them so that even more joy can come out of what I have been given. What credit is it to me if I have talents or qualities that others do not? I did not design my own body or spirit; I can only work with what I have been given by God. Moreover, if I was truly fair and omniscient in my comparisons, I would see that each person has special gifts and good qualities and that no one is qualitatively better than someone else. Having success in one area where someone else fails does not make me better than that person. Instead of feeling smug about my successes, I should try to encourage others so that they succeed as well.

As a Christian, I find comparisons to be much more useful for the things they teach me about myself than for the value judgments I might be tempted to draw from them. If I feel jealous of someone who has a talent that I don't, that probably means that I'm not completely comfortable with using my own talents, not that I'm inferior. Instead of figuring out how to change myself to so I can compare more favorably to someone else, I should learn to use my own talents and gifts more fully. If I envy someone who has something I don't, I inhibit my own ability to do my best with the negative energy from that jealousy. I should focus instead how to do the best I can with what I have been given instead of worrying about what other people have. I don't want envy or arrogance spoiling the joy I have at the special gifts I have been given by God. God did not design my life to be comparable to anyone else's, so I should be rejoicing in my uniqueness instead of inhibiting myself with pointless comparisons.

The next time I feel tempted to declare myself "better than" or "worse than" someone else because of some specific comparison, I hope I can manage to stop envy and arrogance in their tracks and go joyfully onward as nothing more or less than myself.

Meant to Be

2010-03-16T00:00:00.002-05:00

I know a lot of people who like to say, "If it's meant to be, it will happen." My Mom is one of them. That phrase used to drive me crazy. When I'm at a crossroads in my life, I want to take charge and do something, not wait around and see what will happen. However, as I grow older (and hopefully wiser) I'm learning that life isn't a black and white spectrum where I must be either subjugated to God's will in every tiny aspect of my life or completely independent with total control over my own life. The truth is that God and I share control—and responsibility—for my destiny. What's meant to be will only happen when I do my part and allow God to do His.

I've never really understood predestination arguments, because if my life is already decided, what's the point of me living it? God wants me to live (in a real world where I get to make real choices) and to use this experience to learn about Him and about what it means to be His beloved creation. Still, I can't set good goals for myself and ensure their completion all on my own. That's why I do need—and want—God's participation in my life. I can't single-handedly give myself the power to be the best version of myself. Luckily, I have God as an ally. He can work behind the scenes to help my plans succeed, and that's what my Mom means when she says that "if it's meant to be, it will happen." With God behind my plan, my best efforts are bound to be good enough. God may not always choose to get behind my plans, but I can count on Him to be working for my greater good in other ways. If this particular endeavor isn't meant to be, then God will have something else in store for me.

Just last week I put my house up for sale. Only a few days after I posted the ad, someone called and came to look at it. I started wondering if this was a sign that God was helping me sell my house. I don't really know yet if this plan is meant to be or not. As it is, I will do my best to sell my house because I think that's what's best for my husband and me right now. But at the same time, I don't have to worry so much about whether or not I succeed, because God's going to take care of me no matter what. If God agrees that selling my house is essential for me right now, then He'll do what He can to make it happen, but if my house doesn't sell, God will help me find another solution instead. God and I are partners in my life, and whether my plans succeed or fail, God is working with me to help things turn out the way they should.

Ultimately, I am meant to be in Heaven, but that's not going to happen just because it's in God's plan. I have to cooperate with God's plan by accepting His freely-offered grace. Likewise, I can't just make all of my plans turn out the way I want them to. I need God to bless my plans and to lead me to a better plan when mine is inadequate. I've found that when God and I have a healthy partnership, everything in my life ends up the way it's meant to be, regardless of how my plans turn out.

Rise Up

2010-03-15T00:00:00.000-05:00

It's mud season in Minnesota. All the snow is quickly melting, revealing patches of dead, matted grass and leaving huge mud puddles behind. This is actually the ugliest time of the year around here. All the trees are still barren and the ground is brown and soggy. The roads are full of potholes and the rivers are full of ice chunks and debris. And yet everyone is spending as much time outside as possible. The sun is out, and we've missed it so much over the long winter months. Everything is dirty and ugly now, but we know spring is coming, so we happily endure the mud because grass and flowers won't be too far behind.

Winters in Minnesota are so long and cold that we sometimes despair of ever feeling warm again, but when the sun finally comes out and the snow melts, we all have a merry celebration because we made it through one more winter. Sometimes I feel that way about my life. I go through a rough patch and I don't know how long it will last. Like the Minnesota winter, it may feel like the hard times will go on forever. But eventually things get better, and the flowers of spring bloom in my heart. Although I may not know when my spring will come, I trust God to send it along eventually. When the time comes, He'll be ready to rescue me from the hardships that plague me, and together we'll celebrate the good fortune He sends my way.

I am lucky to have a God who loves me enough to send me my own personal springtime in due course. It can't be spring and summer all the time, but the winter won't last forever. It's just a season, part of the ebb and flow of my life. God has given me good times and hard times in my life, but He's always made sure I could get through and He's always promised me a light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how dark things get, I always know that spring will come eventually. God won't leave me stuck in winter forever because He loves me. He's probably as eager for spring as I am.

Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come with me.
See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come,
The cooing of doves is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come with me.
(Song of Solomon 2:10–13)

Faithful

2010-03-12T00:00:00.000-06:00

Recently I was talking with a friend who's been struggling with a lot of difficult issues lately. She told me that when things are going well, it's easy to have faith. But when things are hard, any perceived distance in her relationship with God sends the doubts flooding in. She needs strong and visible support from God when times are tough, and if she doesn't get it, her faith suffers drastically. I think that to some extent most everyone feels like my friend sometimes. Even Mother Teresa, famous for her faith, was documented in the book Mother Teresa: Come By My Light as sometimes struggling with her relationship with God. I think of myself as a person of strong faith, but even I know from personal experience about the struggles my friend described.

I vividly remember sitting in the middle of a cloth labyrinth in the chapel at my college one night when I was 19 years old, crying my eyes out because I could not feel God in my heart like I used to. In high school I used to carry God around like a secret best friend in my head, but as I went through emotional and spiritual challenges in college, God seemed to get further and further away from me. I didn't think I could deal with my troubles without the sense of His presence, and I sat and wept out of the sense of cold emptiness and solitude inside me. God and I have reached a more stable place in our relationship these days, but it still hurts when I'm in trouble and I can't feel Him. I do believe in the old Footprints poem—that God is sometimes supporting me most when I can't tell that He's there. I don't worry about being abandoned anymore, but I do hunger and thirst for the overt sense of that comforting presence in my life. I know God is there, but I want to feel Him more strongly when I am at my weakest.

I trust that God has his own reasons for the ways He participates in my life. I know that the silence in my head and the lonely ache in my heart do not mean that there is no God or that He has forsaken me. I realize that sometimes I need the opportunity to work through problems without God's direct intercession and that being strong and persevering is a character building exercise. I believe that God is giving me strength and subtle guidance even when I don't feel Him strongly and that He loves me all the time. I won't lie though—it's hard to maintain that trust in the hard times when God feels far away. It's difficult to see the big picture of God's redeeming love when I hate the inadequacies in myself and I struggle to make the relationships in my life work. It's challenging to keep on convincing myself that my relationship with God is strong and well when He is an unseen entity in my life. Yet, these are the times when I need faith the most. Without God I know I will be defeated by these challenges. I have to hold onto God in order to make it through.

With that in mind, I have more song lyrics to share today. They are excerpted from "Faithful" by Brooke Fraser:

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here
But the comfort of you near is what I long for
When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray
And I want you more than I want to live another day
And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful

What I Should Be

2010-03-11T00:00:00.000-06:00

Last night at church, the pastor closed his sermon with these words from the gospel of John: "Take heart! Get up! Jesus is calling you!" These were the words the crowd spoke to blind Bartimaeus when Jesus heard his crying out and stopped to help him. Bartimaeus didn't have to be agitated or desperate for help anymore. Help had arrived. All he had to do now was get up, ask for grace, and accept the gift, and that's exactly what he did.

It's easy to get wrapped up in frustration, guilt, and shame because I am not what I should be. I feel like blind Bartimaeus, crying at the side of the road, "Jesus! Lord! I am not what I should be! I am not whole! Please help me!" And yet, when Jesus stops to hear my plea, what will I do? Will I stay hunched by the roadside, paralyzed by my hatred of my own limitations? Or will I take heart, get up, and take action? Will I go out to meet Jesus or will I stay huddled up in my own misery and mess?

Bartimaeus has three lessons to teach me about how to become what I should be:

Ask God for help. Bartimaeus knew he couldn't heal his own blindness. Likewise, I know that I can't correct my own (physical or emotional) defects, and I can't cure myself of my own sin. No matter how hard I try, I cannot make myself be what I should be. I must have God's help in order to fulfill my true potential. God will not force this assistance on me, so I must be wise and humble enough to ask for it. Like Bartimaeus, I must cry out until I am heard, and when my moment arrives I must be willing to stand up and seize it.
Take action. Asking for help is well and good, but I have to do more than just ask. I must get up and go to meet God when He calls me so that I can actively accept the grace He offers. If Bartimaeus had stayed where he was, would Jesus have come to him? We don't know. Jesus called to Bartimaeus and he came and was healed. I too must be willing to do what God asks when He calls to me and to accept the healing on His terms.
To be what I should be, I must stick with God long-term. Bartimaeus didn't go on his way after Jesus healed him. Instead, he followed Jesus—right into Jerusalem where Jesus was crucified not long after. We don't know what happened to Bartimaeus after that, but I'd like to think he became part of the emerging church. Likewise, I can't just look to Jesus as a temporary fix to my problems. He is someone I need in my life all the time. Once I reach out to him and find help, I can't leave again just because things get better. I still need God if I'm really going to be what I should be. Bartimaeus needed more than to receive his sight, and I think Jesus knew that. Bartimaeus got a whole new life, and that's what I want too.

With God's help, I can be what I should be. I'm not going to get there by punishing myself for falling short or by wallowing in self-pity or denial. Bartimaeus could only connect with Jesus when he was willing to cry out, even when the crowd was trying to shush him. He didn't care about anything so much as he cared about connecting with Jesus. I want to feel that way too. That's how I should feel, because a loving and devoted servant of Christ is what I should be.

The King of Love My Shepherd Is

2010-03-10T00:00:00.000-06:00

The King of Love my shepherd is, whose goodness faileth never.
I nothing lack if I am His, and He is mine forever.

Yesterday as I was reading the story of the Prodigal Son at Bible study, I was struck by God's overwhelming and all-encompassing love. The father in the story loved both his obedient son and his disobedient son. He did not write off the younger son for being wayward, and he did not quarrel with his older son for being uncharitable. He loved them both and tried to show both of them a better way to live. My God is a God of forgiveness and mercy, one who pulls us out of the depths of our sin when we turn to Him. The prodigal son's father did not come after him right away when he left, and so the son had to suffer hunger and poverty before he decided to return home. There were consequences for his mistakes, but once he returned to his father there was no punishment in store, only mercy. God wishes to rescue us, not punish us. That's what His overwhelming love is all about.

This is why I feel so sad sometimes when I read the news. Terrorists praise God as they hijack airplanes and blow themselves up in public markets. Nigerians cried "God is great!" as they massacred people—including defenseless women and children—with machetes. Protesters carry signs with slogans like "Thank God for dead soldiers" and "God hates your tears" at funerals. Christians of all types make harsh speculations about who's going to Hell and what punishments lie in store for various misdeeds. It saddens me to consider this concept of God as someone who would rejoice in terrorism, violence, and punishment. I won't say that God doesn't use punishment as a tool, but I don't think He revels in it. I think God wants sinners to be saved, not destroyed. God does not endorse plane hijackers or suicide bombers. He does not scorn the tears of bereft mothers. God has compassion on all of the people in those situations, and He is sad that we do such destructive things. My God hates sin but loves people.

I feel a little angry sometimes that people would tarnish the name of my God by associating Him with such heartless tyranny. God is not a cold judge who creates rules simply so He can punish those who don't obey Him. God is not whispering into the ears of violent psychopaths or waiting gleefully to throw us into Hell as soon as we screw up. Jesus' death was not some legalistic ploy to buy us back into the good graces of a reluctant Father—it was the means for God to pour out His wondrous love and mercy on our undeserving souls. I'm not going to sit here and say that God doesn't have any judgments about community power struggles, social justice, or wars. But I don't think those judgments are where the story ends. They're just stepping stones in His mission to make us better, and God's love is the driving force behind all of His other properties—including His righteousness and His judgment.

Any time I see someone glorifying violence, retribution, war, or even damnation in the name of God, my soul bleeds a little bit. God doesn't love any of those things. He loves us. Whenever I see a sign that says "God hates [x group of people]," I want to cry. God hates the things we do sometimes, but He never hates us. My God is the God of love, and that is the most important thing about Him. I am sad that everyone doesn't know my God, because it's so wonderful to have a Good Shepherd to take care of me. I want everyone to feel that benefit and understand that amazing love. I want everyone to know my God.

And so throughout the length of days, Thy goodness faileth never.
Good Shepherd, may I sing Thy praise within Thy house forever.

The Change

2010-03-09T00:00:00.001-06:00

My life is not terribly important or profound. In the grand scheme of the universe, I am like a tiny speck. My life will be over in the blink of an eye, and 100 years after I am dead, it's likely that no one will remember me. My actions don't necessarily make a huge or lasting impact on the world, and my legacy will be in the hearts of people who will eventually die themselves. I probably can't do either great good or great evil in this world because I have little power. Some people would use this observation to argue then that it doesn't matter what I do. I could simply live for myself because my actions don't really make that big of an impact on the world anyway. That's not how I see it, however.

Whether or not I drastically change the world, it matters very much what changes happen inside of me. I am small, but I am not insignificant. God designed me and Jesus atoned for my sins, so to God I am quite valuable. My integrity and my faithfulness matter more than the practical impact of my actions. God can see the love, desire, and loyalty in my heart even when the world can't see the impact of my actions. Who I am and what I do is very important to God and ought to be important to me no matter what anyone else thinks. Faith matters more than results, and honesty and humility count more than outward success or physical legacies. Even if what I do is small, it matters.

I find that this point is quite excellently stated in Garth Brooks' song "The Change" from his 2000 album Fresh Horses:

One hand reaches out and pulls a lost soul from harm
While a thousand more go unspoken for
And they say "What good have you done by saving just this one?"
It's like whispering a prayer in the fury of a storm

And I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world we know
Never changes me

What I do is so
This world will know
That it will not change me

The Blur

2010-03-08T00:00:00.000-06:00

Sometimes my life is a blur. I find myself struggling just to keep up with the relentless pace of my life. Events run together in my mind and I concentrate simply on surviving with no hope of really understanding the big picture of what's happening. Only later, when things have slowed down, will I have any chance of being able to look back and see the lessons that I was learning or the paths that I was forging during that hectic time. I am in one of those times now. Each day that I complete everything on my to-do list feels like a major victory, even though tomorrow's to-do list is just as full. I dream at night about the projects I'm working on and spend each day trying to figure out how to give my best effort even when I feel my energy draining away. It's hard for me to really see what's going on in my life or to appreciate all the changes that are happening so quickly. Later on, this might seem like a profound time in my life.

Sometimes when I am rushing through my life like this, I worry that I am losing bits and pieces of my experience because I cannot keep up with them. No one else can really see the struggles I go through or witness the victories and defeats of each day. No one but me can really appreciate all the growth that I'm experienceing right now or all the really important things I'm learning. If I can't even keep track of all of those things myself, are they lost? Is my life truly becoming a blur?

It's times like these when I feel so grateful to have God's presence in my life. Because God is watching my life, I know that everything I do and experience is being recorded in the eternal consciousness of my Creator, where it can never be forgotten. Even if I cannot understand the significance of what's happening in my life right now, God sees and understands all of it. Later, when I have time to think it through, God might send me insights about what has happened and help me to benefit more fully from the things I couldn't truly appreciate when they were happening. God is with me, so even when I lose track of bits of my life, they aren't truly lost. God sees and remembers everything and stores all of it up for me until I'm ready to understand it. In a way, my experiences—even the hectic ones—are a kind of personal inheritance, and God will be sure that in time I receive that inheritance in full.

It's All in the Timing

2010-03-05T00:00:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I attempted to take a picture of an item in a glass display case. I realized fairly quickly that it was hopeless. The case is in the corner of a big room with windows all around, and all I could see was the reflections of the light coming through the windows on the glass of the display case. I've decided to come back after dark to see if I have better luck. With no light coming through the windows and more lights coming from ceiling light fixtures overhead, perhaps the glare might not be so bad. I don't know yet how it will turn out, but the timing could make a great deal of difference.

I've noticed that timing can make a huge difference in my life. My alma mater was the first college to send me mail after I took the PSAT. What if they had sent their letter later? Would I have given it as much weight if it hadn't been the first one to arrive? I met my husband when I was a freshman in college and he was dating a friend of mine. After they broke up a year later, I toyed with the idea of pursuing him but ultimately decided against it because it just didn't feel right at the time. We didn't start dating until a year later, and by then we were such good friends that our relationship bloomed quickly and we were engaged five months later. What would have happened if I had tried to date him sooner? Would things have worked out? What if we weren't ready and the relationship didn't last? Would we ever have gotten back together? I don't know. But as it was, the timing seemed pretty perfect.

The problem with timing as that while I know it's important, I don't always have the right information to try to control it. I can guess that there will be less glare on a display case at night, that I should wait to bring up a complicated conversation until after my husband's had his dinner, and that it won't do me any good to call someone when I know that person is at work and can't answer the phone. But sometimes I don't have all of that information to make a decision about timing. I'm not always privy to the schedules, feelings, or even the physical factors involved in the situations of my life. How do I know when to act when I don't have information about the proper timing?

I've come up with a two part answer to this question: trust God and pay attention. God is the one being in this universe with perfect timing because He is the only one who can see and understand all the factors that go into each situation. Sometimes God will help me out with the timing either by guiding events Himself or by giving me a nudge so that I make the right choices at the right time. Like always, however, I have to pay attention to God in order to benefit from the help He's giving me. If I'm tuned out, then I'll miss the Spirit's cues and the timing will come out all wrong. I need to try to be as perceptive as possible so that I can pick up as much information as I can both from God and from the people and situations around me. I've figured out that having a serious conversation with my husband right before dinner is a bad idea because I've paid attention to what happens when I do. The timing of our relationship was completely different. I decided not to date him earlier in our friendship because it didn't feel right, and it's a good thing I paid attention to that feeling in my gut, because it could very well have been a tip from God.

No matter how hard I try and no matter how much I pay attention, I'm still going to mess up the timing sometimes. That's why trusting God means more than simply counting on Him to help me figure it out. Trusting also means that I depend on Him to work things out when I make a huge mess and to be there to help me even if the timing goes horribly wrong. Even if I act at entirely the wrong time, God will salvage the mess and make things turn out the way they should in the end. God's been correcting our mistakes for all of history, and He's very good at it. I just need to do my best and count on God for the rest. He's ultimately the one in charge of the timing, anyway.

Honesty

2010-03-04T00:00:00.000-06:00

I remember being taught as a child that "honesty is the best policy." Lies are the work of the Devil, but the truth shall set us free. That's all well and good, but I sometimes struggle with how far to take honesty. Is it OK to tell a "white lie"? Is it ever appropriate to conceal or avoid the truth? What if my honesty would only hurt someone?

I am learning that the proper handling of honesty often depends on the type of truth in question. Not all truths are created equal. First and foremost there is God's Truth—the truth about His goodness and His love for us, and the truth about Jesus and his redemptive grace. That Truth is paramount, and it will come out and be declared before the world no matter who tries to conceal it. Other truths are far less important. When I convey an honest opinion, I am telling the truth, but my truth isn't nearly so powerful or absolute as God's truth.

Paul encouraged the Ephesians to embrace truth and to speak honestly to each other as a way to build each other up and shield each other from the unwholesome lies of a fallen world. "Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:14–15, 25, 29) Paul's advice is to use honesty to do God's work. Truth should build others up, not tear them down.

Sometimes the truth isn't nice. Before we share criticism in the name of honesty, however, we need to consider how we intend to use that truth. Is our purpose simply to clear our own consciences by divulging all of our thoughts, both helpful and unhelpful? Is the point to make someone else feel ashamed for perceived shortcomings? Do we want to feel better about ourselves in comparison while calling our "honest" opinions subjective? Or do we actually want to build someone up with honest, loving, constructive criticism? If we can see that someone is on a dangerous path, it's worth being honest if we think the truth could help them turn to a healthier way. Being honest about personal opinions and slighting judgments with no thought of love or encouragement isn't nearly as helpful.

So really, honesty is the best policy, if by honesty I mean speaking the Truth in love in order to build others up. That's the best and truest kind of honesty, and I don't think the other kinds are really worth that much from a Christian standpoint. You could be just as well off not knowing the truth about what year it was when your outfit was last considered fashionable, but it's always worth it to share the truth about God's love and His expectations of His faithful servants.

Life's a Dance

2010-03-03T00:00:00.000-06:00

I discovered ballroom and swing dancing in college. I still remember the first waltz I danced that really felt comfortable. I stopped focusing on what my feet were doing, and all of a sudden I was flying across the room. Everything was a breathless, beautiful blur. It was as though a door had opened somewhere inside me and my joyful soul had soared through it and up to the stars. I have had many other dances since that made me feel that way. When I'm able to move beyond the technicalities of the dance, I get the chance to feel something that transcends physical movement and to connect with my partner in a fun (and sometimes even intense) way.

When it comes to social dancing, having a great dance isn't necessarily about knowing the right steps. The beauty of social dance is that it isn't a choreographed performance—it's a conversation between two dance partners. The steps are the vocabulary, yes, but what's really going on is the give and take between two connected bodies. The lead (traditionally the man) initiates a movement, and the follow (traditionally the woman) responds. In order for me to have a really special dance, I need to have a good connection to the lead. We need to have a good frame so I can feel his movements, he needs to give me clear cues through his body language, and I need to trust him implicitly and be willing to follow wherever he takes us, even if I don't know the precise steps to the moves he's leading. I have to stop looking at my feet and instead follow the movement of my partner's body. If he's a good lead, he will be able to move me from my center and my feet will intuitively keep up. When a dance really clicks, I don't have to think about what I'm doing. Sure, I might stumble a time or two, but I will dance on.

Sometimes my life feels like a dance. God is my invisible partner, spinning and twirling me through all the pleasures and challenges of my life. When my connection to God is good, He can move me effortlessly through any obstacle and I dance right on through, often unaware of the subtle hand that guides me. When my dance frame collapses, I start to miss steps and sometimes the dance briefly falls apart. God is a patient dance partner, however, and He inevitably helps me get back into step. As long as I trust God, it doesn't matter if I miss a step or two because He'll still keep me going in the right direction. It's kind of a relief, really, knowing that I'm not solely responsible for making it a good dance. I don't have to learn a bunch of fancy footwork and be some kind of overachiever to have a meaningful experience. All I have to do is be myself and focus on being a responsive partner, and God will give me the dance of a lifetime.

The New Dawn

2010-03-02T00:00:00.000-06:00

We all have bad days. Sometimes when everything has gone wrong, we feel lucky just to make it to the end of the day. We're ready for the day to be over so that we can start fresh tomorrow with new hopes for better things. Occasionally, we even have bad weeks (or even bad months or years). During those trying times, we look for ways to free ourselves from the problems that tie us down so that we can start fresh. We have sayings to encourage ourselves like, "Tomorrow is another day," or "The night is always darkest just before the dawn." We visualize the new day coming to bring us renewed hope.

The prophet Jeremiah was in the midst of a dark and difficult season in his life when he wrote the book of Lamentations. Things were not going at all well for him personally or for his society in general. In the midst of his woe, Jeremiah wrote, "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:21–23) In the midst of his suffering, Jeremiah was looking for the new dawn because he trusted in God's mercy. He knew that God makes everything new, so it was only a matter time before he would be given a fresh start. God could free Jeremiah and all the people from the sins and suffering that oppressed them.

God's mercies are new every morning. That means that when I go to sleep feeling sad, angry, frustrated, or exhausted, I have a chance to be restored so that I can greet the new day full of hope, joy, and positive energy. The sun comes up every morning to remind us that God is constantly reviving our tired spirits and sending down blessings to help us persevere. No matter how bad things get for us, we can look for the new dawn and know that someday God will give us the chance to start anew.

Sometimes going to sleep and waking up the next day doesn't really make a discernible difference in the state of my life. Problems that existed when I went to sleep haven't necessarily evaporated overnight. Yet, the perception of the new day can make all the difference in the way I handle challenges. Last night I was weary and worn down, feeling unable to do anything about my problems. This morning, however, I feel fresh and energized and ready to make a dent in the pile of work ahead of me. The new dawn has given me a chance to pick up where I left off but with a renewed sense of hope and purpose. Yesterday I had a bad time and my problems wore me down, but today is a new day. Those problems may still be here, but I might come out on top today. God has given me another chance to get things done, and that's a wonderful thing.

Hope

2010-03-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

I am writing this having just returned home from meeting an old friend for some drinks. This friend and I have been going through a bit of a rough patch lately. We haven't seen each other very much and our communication has been rather awkward. I was starting to wonder if our relationship was circling the drain. The whole situation was difficult and frustrating for me and I sometimes felt that the friendship might be over. But I decided it wasn't fair to cut and run without trying to talk things out first, so I called and asked this friend out for drinks. And now, a few hours later, the dynamic of our relationship is quite different.

Hope changes everything. I took what little hope I had left for our friendship into the conversation and laid it out on the table. We realized that we do have a special relationship, and even though things have been pretty dry recently, we have reason to hope that our friendship can and will blossom again. When each of us expressed our hope for our friendship, that hope turned into commitment and dedication. We have a future together now because our hope convinces us to believe that future is possible. Even though things have gotten messy, there's no reason why we can't move forward and be good friends again.

Moments like this remind me of why God's plan to redeem humankind isn't so crazy after all. If two friends can sit down together and decide that there's hope for reconciliation, suddenly there's a whole world of possibility before them that can blossom into a happy and fruitful future. Now imagine what can happen if one of those friends is God. As long as I maintain a single spark of hope for my relationship with God, there is no limit to the future of that relationship. God can do all things, and all He needs is my hope to serve as a conduit for His boundless love. God is right to hope for reconciliation with us, because He knows He has the power to make it possible. All we have to do is trust in God's love, and He'll take care of the rest.

As my friend and I talked tonight, I finally remembered why we love each other. Our renewed commitment to that love makes our relationship strong again, even in the midst of the hardships we've been through lately. We both have hope now that we can have a stronger relationship and be blessings in each other's lives. The beauty of our hope is that it will make the things we hope for possible. We have a future as friends because we dare to believe in it and we strive to reach for it. Love is the most powerful force in the world, so it's worth investing hope in.

Coping Skills for the Overwhelmed Christian

2010-02-26T00:00:00.000-06:00

Everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes. Our to-do lists explode, things get tense, and we wonder how we're going to make it through. Considering that I'm dealing with a huge pile of work and a moderate amount of stress myself right now, I thought it would be a good idea to post a refresher on some helpful coping strategies that I've discovered.

Take time to pray. Sometimes when I get busy, it can feel like I don't have time to deal with God. I've learned, however, that taking time for God becomes more important than ever when I'm stressed out. I may feel too tired to pray when I collapse into bed at the end of the day, but that small ritual helps calm my mind and allows me to turn over the day's activity to God so that I can rest peacefully. At crazy moments during my day, I like to stop and think about God. Reminding myself that God is with me and feeling the warmth of His presence in my heart calms my racing mind and helps me feel more confident about the work I have to do. It might be too much for me to handle alone, but with God's help I can make it through.

Ask for help. Sometimes it feels like the American way to just suffer in silence and to push ourselves to (and past) our limits to get everything done ourselves. Nevertheless, God intends for us to live in a symbiotic relationship with the rest of the Body of Christ. That means it's perfectly acceptable to ask our fellow Christians and loved ones for help when we're being pushed beyond healthy limits. Christians should be willing to pitch in however they can, and I know that there are people who love me and are willing to help when things are tough. I need to be willing to let them help, and I shouldn't feel ashamed to ask for assistance.

Deal with one thing at a time. I can multi-task pretty well, but I certainly can't tackle my entire to-do list all at once. I try not to spend too much time contemplating the sum of everything I have to do because that just overwhelms my brain and causes me to freeze up. When I focus on only one task, I'm able to concentrate on it and get it done efficiently. Then I move on to the next thing, and I feel a surge of positive energy every time I cross an item off my list or move a step closer to my goal. Dividing up my tasks also gives me a chance to pause in between them and check in with God. This keeps me focused and fresh for the remaining tasks ahead.

Don't despair. With God all things are possible, and He does not assign us burdens that we are incapable of bearing with His help (and the help of our loving neighbors). Sure, I get frustrated and overwhelmed sometimes, and occasionally I collapse into tears or fits of anger. It's important for me to let those negative emotions pass instead of wallowing in them so that I can pick myself up and move on. Setbacks happen, but a positive attitude will help me get past them. The fact that things are difficult doesn't mean that God isn't with me. Together we'll get through it.

Be patient. My problems probably aren't going to get solved overnight. God's plan may be more long-term than I had hoped, and my friends might not be able to come immediately to my aid. Sometimes I have to wait, and sometimes I have to slog through for a while before I get anywhere. The payoff will be worth it when I finally make it to the end.

I've realized that it really does help to take a deep breath now and then and remind myself that whatever I'm struggling with probably isn't the end of the world. God's in control, and I have strategies to help me cope. Even if I have to give myself this pep talk ten times a day, I can make it through.

Administrative Note: Yesterday's Post

2010-02-25T16:42:00.000-06:00

I just noticed that yesterday's entry didn't post as scheduled. I'm not entirely sure what happened, and I'm sorry it took me more than a day to fix it! Please go back and read it if you have the chance, and I'll do my best to make sure this kind of oversight doesn't happen again.

My Purpose

2010-02-25T00:00:00.000-06:00

Sometimes my life is pretty dull. I get caught in the drudgery of daily minutiae, and I start to wonder whether my life has a purpose. Depending on how things are going, sometimes I don't feel like I'm changing the world, I don't feel like I'm helping the people I love, and I may not even feel like I'm growing myself. I want some kind of result or happiness to point to so that I can know that there's a good reason why I'm alive. I want to know that I'm not just a waste of time and space but that I am doing something that matters.

I don't always have these frustrations, of course. The rhythm of my life ebbs and flows, and sometimes I'm at high points where I really feel like I'm on a specific mission for God. At those times I recognize that I've been called to do or be something specific, and I feel a great rush of fulfillment when I work towards that calling. I know that I am performing a specific function that matters, and I can more easily see the ways that I'm benefiting the world and growing as a person. I've come to recognize, however, that no matter what's going on in my life, I always have some kind of purpose. There are specific things that God has set out for me to do, but my purpose also includes a few permanent goals.

I am here to love God. God wants and values our love whether we feel confident or lowly when we give it. God is happy when we look around us and appreciate what He's done. God is ecstatic when we enjoy the gifts He's given us and joyfully thank Him for them. If we achieved nothing more than to think of God with fondness, trust, and gratitude every day of our lives, then we would have led very meaningful lives.

I am here to learn about God. If I'm going to live with God forever, then I need to learn about who God is, what He likes, and what kind of relationship we want to have with each other. Part of my purpose is to study the Bible and open myself to the Spirit so that I can get to know my Lord and Creator. That way when I am with God all the time in Heaven, I'll be ready for our relationship to progress to another level.

I am here to learn about myself. Self-awareness is necessary for personal and relational growth. My life on Earth is partially about learning who I am, what I like and what I'm good at, and what I want to give and receive in my relationships with others. I am supposed to learn the unique things about myself and begin to appreciate the things I have in common with my fellow humans. I am also coming to grips with my weaknesses and recognizing the reality of my need for God's help and the benefits of having relationships with other people.

I am here to learn about other people. I do not exist in a vacuum, and when I reach Heaven I will not be alone with God. I am part of a human family that is meant to be unified by the love of God. I need to get to know my brothers and sisters and learn how to live in a harmonious community and contribute to the whole. I need to figure out how to love in spite of challenges and to find ways to channel my energy into the larger group.

I am here to share what I learn. By doing so, I can help others fulfill the four purposes above and thereby strengthen the entire Body of Christ.

Even when I feel like I'm just dragging by, I still have the opportunity to love and learn. God made me with a purpose in mind, and He has great plans for me. Even when I can't see those plans, I don't have to feel aimless. My life has a purpose. Even if I don't yet understand every aspect of my purpose, I can cling to the parts that I do know and work towards fulfilling them.

Winning

2010-02-24T00:00:00.002-06:00

I remember the old adage from my childhood, "Winning isn't everything." This is what our parents, teachers, and mentors told us when we got too worked up about contests or put competitiveness above more important values. Even as adults we need to be reminded that the thrill of winning isn't necessarily worth the price. In our dedication to pushing ourselves to the top, we often have to leave behind Christian concepts like mercy, kindness, selflessness, and humility. We stop being team players so that we can become superstars. We care more about being the "best" than we care about being good people. From a Christian standpoint, that's problematic.

Christianity is not about being the winner. We are victors through Christ, not in and of ourselves, and we share this special status with all other believers. On our own, we can do nothing to help or save ourselves. No matter how many competitions we win or how many ways we try to prove we're better than our fellow humans, we come no closer to God. God doesn't really care who's the best, because He designed all of us and gave us the talents and skills that distinguish us in the first place. He's not going to give us all the credit for the work He did in creating us. God is focused instead on the choices we make and how we use what we've been given to make a positive difference in the world. If winning a medal or two gives glory to God and reflects the creation He made us to be, then that's great. But it will be the authenticity and love of our actions that counts, not the award. No matter how good we are at winning competitions, we cannot earn our way into Heaven or achieve special status for our eternal souls. All we can do is accept the bounteous grace that Jesus, who alone was capable of winning the absolute competition against death, has freely shared with us.

It's true that Christians should strive to be all they can be. God gave us talents and skills for a reason, and we should endeavor to use them to the best of our ability for purposes that we think will please Him. Doing our best doesn't require us to compare ourselves to others, however. Competing against others will not prove our love or loyalty to God. God doesn't want us to beat others—He wants us to beat the sinfulness inside ourselves with His divine assistance. Anyone who sets up a competition about who's the best Christian or suggests that Heaven is a prize to be won doesn't really understand what Christianity is all about. God will never tell you that you aren't as good as someone else and will never be disappointed in you because you haven't won enough prizes or awards. He's proud every time you reaffirm your love for Him and reach out to others in His name. There's no competition in Christian love—just cooperative joy.

Belonging

2010-02-23T00:00:00.000-06:00

In general, I seem to be a social floater. My presence is accepted in and around a large variety of groups, but I am rarely invited to join a group as a full-fledged member. There are some exceptions to this statement, of course, but I am frequently struck by how often I have felt like an outsider even in my own communities. I look around me and see so many people with whom I cannot fully connect, people who seem different from me. At times the spaces between me and the people around me seem like chasms and I find myself wishing for an opportunity to truly belong.

I am not Southern enough to fit in with my hometown friends nor Midwestern enough to really mesh with my current neighbors. I am not conservative enough for most of my family or liberal enough for most of my friends. I am not a cradle Lutheran like most of the people at my church, and I don't share their Scandinavian heritage either. I am not creative, vivacious, or even old enough to belong in the personal circles of some of the people I like or admire most. My religious beliefs and expressions are unique things that few people seem willing to try to understand. I prioritize things that people around me consider foolish and I dream dreams that even my closest loved ones cannot comprehend or share.

I suspect that everyone feels this disconnect on some level. Even those people who love us the most do not have the power to see directly into our souls and understand who we truly are at every level. Only God can do that. Still, there is hope in that last sentence. God can truly understand us, and He accepts every aspect of our personalities because He created them. We belong with God. Sure, He's an all-powerful deity and we're just people, but we fit in with God because He designed us to. He made us in His own image so that we could be like Him. Someday I will make it to Heaven and I won't have to feel like I don't fit in anymore. God will perfect each of us so that we can live together in harmony, in a place where no one will feel hurt or left out anymore and everyone will belong. It's actually a relief to realize that I don't fit in here on Earth because it reminds me that I belong somewhere better.

In the meantime, it's important to realize that we're all in this together. None of us completely belongs in this world, and there's some commonality in that.

Trust in Spite of Heartbreak

2010-02-22T00:00:00.003-06:00

Every person I love will someday break my heart. It may not be an absolute rupture—perhaps it will be only a tiny little fracture, a small burning pain to remind me how fragile human feelings can be. Either way, it will hurt. I know that no one I love is perfect and that I am incapable of meeting the world with a dispassionate and logical heart. I'm going to get hurt, and that's just the way it is.

The paragraph above may seem cynical at first glance. If I really believed that all relationships are destined to include heartbreak, you might reasonably ask why I bother to pursue relationships at all. I'll admit that I've asked myself that question once or twice. I've been tempted to believe that I'm better off alone, safer a hermit in a cave with no one but God for company than adrift in a dangerous world where heartbreak lurks around every corner. But I've learned that the relationships that seem to cause my heartaches aren't really the root of the problem. The problem is that pain is simply a part of the human condition, and therefore avoiding human interaction won't spare me from heartache.

Well, the tone of this post must seem downright dismal at this point, but now it's time for the silver lining. Yes, our hearts will be broken just as surely as you can expect the stock market to go down sometimes even when its general trend is up. But like a good stock investment, our relationships have the potential to give us a powerful positive return that far outweighs the losses. The people I love are bound to hurt me and certain to let me down sometimes, but I also know that they will surely brighten up many of my days and bring me comfort when I need it most. They will help me when I cannot get by on my own and multiply my joy when I celebrate my success. They will help me be a better person than I could be on my own.

Jesus forged special relationships with 12 men. One of these men betrayed him to the chief priests for money. One of them denied even knowing him, and the other 10 were scattered after his arrest. As far as we know, only one of them was present at his execution and the rest hid away, terrified that they would be next. These men misunderstood Jesus and abandoned him. Yet I believe that the scriptures suggest that Jesus counted his relationship with them as well worth it. Jesus was not sorry he loved these men, and despite their failings they loved him in return. Eleven of them worked tirelessly on Jesus' behalf after his resurrection, serving him until their own deaths. Yes, the disciples broke Jesus' heart when they failed him, but when they followed him and fostered the fledgling church in his name, they brought Jesus special joy. Jesus loved and counted on these men because it was in his nature to do this, because he knew no other way to be himself and to live up to the essence of God within him.

I have tried putting aside trust in an effort to protect myself. I have attempted to care less and to watch from the safety of the sidelines. I have fancied myself strongest when I was alone and independent. And yet, when I tried to be and do these things, I did not feel like myself. To deny love and trust was to deny the deepest part of myself, the part that wants to be like God. To shut down my altruism in an attempt to be safe was a deception. Shutting myself off from others was never going to make me safe. All it would do is change the flavor of my heartbreak, not eliminate it, and in so doing isolate me from the very love and support that could help me through the inevitable pain.

I have accepted that I am going to get hurt. But I know that I am also going to feel joy and companionship and love. My trust will be rewarded more than it is betrayed. I have learned that when my heart breaks, clinging to my relationships instead of shoving them away will provide the salve I need to mend my broken heart and continue on in the love I've learned from Jesus. His heart was broken and yet he prevailed. Through his grace, I will follow in his footsteps.

Guilt

2010-02-19T00:00:00.001-06:00

Yesterday night at a rehearsal, the director was apologizing because she was going to be away during one of our routine performances. She had recruited a highly-skilled director to fill in for her, but she said she still felt a bit guilty for missing one of our performances. "Don't feel guilty," my stand partner piped up. "Guilt is just a waste of energy." I looked up at her as she said it, struck by the brilliance of that simple statement. Guilt is just a waste of energy.

The feeling of guilt exists for a reason. It's a warning mechanism designed to get our attention when we might be going astray, but it is not really a useful long-term activity. I think of guilt a bit like a fire alarm. When a fire alarm goes off, we assess the situation to see if the building is really on fire or if it's just a false alarm. Once we've decided which it is, we turn the alarm off. There's no point in letting it sound on and on. Likewise, guilt is supposed to spur us into making an assessment of our conduct. Once that assessment is made, the guilt has served its purpose and continuing to foster it becomes counterproductive.

Sometimes guilt is a false alarm, as in the case of my director. She had no reason to worry about us because she had provided an excellent substitute who would see us through the performance just fine. As my stand partner so sagely pointed out, guilt would only taint her trip and wouldn't help us at all. She needed to simply turn the guilt off instead of wasting her energy on it because the decision she had made was fine. At other times, there really is a fire, so to speak. Once we realize that we're doing something wrong, however, feeling guilty about it no longer helps. The only thing that will help is for us to take some sort of action to deal with the problem. Just sitting around and wallowing in guilt will neither correct the situation nor bring us forgiveness. Guilt is intended to produce some sort of reaction, so it shouldn't be an end product in and of itself.

Guilt does not help us pay for our sins. The only way to deal with sin is to repent and be forgiven. Repentance frees us from our guilt and restores our relationship with God. If we never move past the guilt, then we never get to the forgiveness and restoration. Punishing ourselves for our faults doesn't help anyone. When we allow ourselves to be healed, then we are able to once more become productive servants of God. We can't help anyone—ourselves or others—when we're trapped in guilt.

Therefore, when I feel guilty, I need to pay attention to what my conscience is telling me, evaluate the information, and make a decision. I don't want to hang in limbo with the fire alarm going off forever. I want to take action and resolve the situation. I don't want to be wasting my God-given energy on endless guilt.

My Life Is Not a Popularity Contest

2010-02-18T00:00:00.000-06:00

God created me to serve and love Him and to serve and love my neighbors, not to be popular. While it's true that sometimes people are well-liked for being kind and truthful, sometimes they aren't. Jesus' own popularity took wild swings. When he was healing sick people, he was beloved by many, but when he was preaching repentance and exposing hypocrisy, he was targeted and ridiculed. Eventually, of course, Jesus was crucified by the very people he loved and served. Still, this unpopularity did not mean that Jesus' mission was a failure. He did exactly what God meant for him to do, and the people's displeasure with some aspects of Jesus' ministry does not mean that he was ineffective. Sometimes, like Jesus, I have to be willing to risk unpopularity in order to live as a true servant of God.

Of course, this doesn't mean that we aren't doing our work correctly if we're well-liked. Treating others with love and respect generally means that at least some people will have a passing fondness for us. Ultimately, our Christian lives will win us both fans and critics. Some people will love us for our kindness and others will dislike us for our bold declaration of uncomfortable truths. Neither that love nor that dislike should fuel our actions, however. We must be willing to live our lives independently of what our neighbors think. We should not be generous only to be respected nor should we start quarrels just to prove to God that we put His opinion before our neighbor's. There is nothing for a Christian to gain by being either popular or despised. The only thing that matters is serving God with faithfulness and reaching out to others in love.

In fact, many aspects of our popularity (or lack thereof) have little or no bearing on our core mission of serving God and loving others. When we focus on our true lives as children of God, the social issues that sometimes seem terribly important become inconsequential. Sometimes I worry that people find me unattractive of unimpressive, but does that really inhibit my ability to show them kindness? I get frustrated when people I love don't prioritize me in their lives, but God will love me whether anyone else does or not. I feel hurt when some people don't like or respect me enough to benefit from the gifts I have to offer, but I know that there are plenty of people who will accept the blessings I share. I don't need to be well-liked or even appreciated by other people in order to do the good works God has given me to do. I have God's love to fuel my efforts, and that is sufficient regardless of how anyone else feels about me.

It's a good thing that I'm not a Christian because I want to be popular, because living a Christian life probably isn't going to affect my popularity much either way. Some people will react positively to my Christian values, and some people will be turned off by them. Some people won't care one way or the other about me or what I do. I'm not choosing a Christian life because I care what others think. I endeavor to make my choices based on what God thinks. At the end of my life, I will be face to face with God and it won't matter anymore how many people thought I was smart, beautiful, and talented any more than it will matter who judged me fat, lackluster, or naive. Only God's opinion—His judgment and especially His love—will make a difference on my personal Day of Reckoning. There won't be an audience vote when that day comes, so I don't really need to worry about my popularity one way or the other.

Ashes and Dust

2010-02-17T00:00:00.000-06:00

Today is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of the church season of Lent. Lent is supposed to be about refocusing ourselves on the most important things in our lives—God's mercy and our call to serve Him. When God sent Adam and Eve out of Eden after the Fall, He reminded them that without Him they are nothing. He created them from dust, and when they died their bodies would once more return to the dust. (Genesis 3:19) They were only living beings because God made it so—without Him, they were nothing but dust. This is true for me too, and I will be reminded of it today when the ashes are imposed on my forehead.

So often my attention is dominated by the ashes and dust in my life—my job, my finances, my house, my transitory problems, even my body. Why don't I spend more time focusing on eternal things like God, my relationship with Him, my soul, and the souls around me? It's so hard to concentrate on invisible eternal things when the transitory physical aspects of my life are so obvious. I can't see God or souls. I can't touch or smell salvation. But I can feel my growling stomach and the cold wind on my skin, and I can read the numbers on my monthly bills. Still, I know that all the things I see and touch in this world are only real for today. Someday all of it will be ashes and dust. Only God and His beloved children will outlast it.

I can try to take care of my physical needs and stay alive as long as possible. I can choose to live as the animals do, focusing on my own survival and thinking nothing of eternity. I can resign myself to being no more than dust, an insignificant creature who lives an insignificant life and then dies. Without God, that is what my life would be like. All I would have left is the transitory parts of my existence, the ashes and dust. But I can be so much more than that, and that's why I need Lent to remind me how much I need God. Yes, like Adam and Eve I was formed from dust and my body will return to dust when I die, but through the power of God I am also a living being with a soul and a place in God's eternal family. A part of me is a shining ray of light that no temporary body can fully contain. That, not this body and this Earthly life, is God's true gift to me.
Ash Wednesday is about facing the truth, and that can be difficult. It's hard to look at so many seemingly important aspects of my life and see ashes and dust. It's humbling to realize that the projects to which I devote so much of my effort aren't really very important in the long run. It can be frustrating to accept that I am, on my own, a helpless creature powerless to make any real difference in the world. But the truth also sets us free. By seeings the ashes and dust for what they are, I can also see the true brilliance of God's light and more fully embrace it. I can make a new commitment to ask God to elevate me above the ashes and dust and to give my existence true meaning. I can seek God's love and mercy more fervently and make renewed commitments to use my gifts to make a lasting difference. After all, I am ashes and dust, but I am also a radiant child of God.

Transformation

2010-02-16T00:00:00.000-06:00

"I can't change."

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

"A leopard can't change its spots."

"He was born that way and he'll die that way."

In 2008, Barack Obama ran under the campaign slogan "Change we can believe in." This was a powerful statement because all too often we don't believe in change. Politicians tell us that they're going to change our country for the better, but we're skeptical. We've seen the games that politicians play and we don't expect them to improve their conduct or the way they do business. As a general rule, when it comes to politics most of us don't expect substantive change.

This attitude of resignation can lead us to feel rather jaded. When we don't expect people to change, we start to resent them for being the way they are. We begin to dismiss them as the lowest versions of themselves and don't even really give them a chance to change. We do nothing to encourage transformation, and we lose all hope that things can be different. The truth is that we live in a tragic world that is engulfed in sin. And yet, with the help of God, change is possible.

God gives each of us the opportunity to transform over time into the best possible versions of ourselves. With the help of God, bad habits can be broken, addictions can be cured, and attitudes can be reversed. There is hope for every hopeless case. Therefore, instead of giving up on ourselves and each other, we must strive for the change that God has promised. Through the mercy of Christ, each of us can become a new creation. Let us eagerly seek that mercy and strive for that transformation. Let us see the potential that God sees, that God created in each one of us. Change is possible but only because God makes it so.

Sometimes I feel trapped by my shortcomings and I wonder if I'll be broken forever. Sometimes I shut myself away from people who have hurt me because I don't trust them to learn from the mistakes of the past. Sometimes I stop hoping that the people I love can embrace the beautiful futures I want for them. Sometimes I am tempted to believe that we are all trapped in our ruts and that we can't change. But I am wrong, thanks be to God. Instead of wallowing in my personal pitfalls, I must reach out for God and allow Him to transform my life. Instead of giving up on the people around me, I need to pray for them and encourage them. Instead of shutting myself off from the risk of "repeat offenders" I need to make myself vulnerable enough to be part of God's blessing in their lives.

Change is possible, but if I cannot hope for it, I shut myself off from it. God works in the hearts of the willing, so I must open myself to God and lovingly help others to do the same. It's not over, so why should we resign ourselves? God can overcome even the things that seem inevitable, and there is no life so broken or stalled that God cannot work change in it. The world may inspire cynicism, but God really does represent change I can believe in.

Blessed Be the Name of the Lord

2010-02-15T00:00:00.007-06:00

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

(lyrics from "Blessed Be Your Name" by Tree 63)

A lot of people say they love God until their lives are turned upside down. Then they start to wonder where God is and if He really cares about them. Sometimes they get angry with God for letting terrible things happen and for holding back the blessings they long for. When life is good we praise God, but when life is difficult they quarrel with Him. "My God, why have you forsaken me?" they cry. They may even start to doubt whether God is the good and loving being they believe Him to be. Sometimes I am one of those people.

Yet, when things go wrong and our relationship with God becomes strained, is it really God who's the problem? Did God ever promise us that nothing painful would ever happen to us? No. What He promised is that He would take care of us and bring us through all tribulation into the promised land. So why is our trust in God so threatened when the road gets a little bumpy? Do we not trust Him to keep His promise? Do we expect God to cut and run as some of our human friends might? Do we suspect God of having ulterior motives other than our welfare as so many of our human leaders do? We must remember that God is God. He is not corruptible like people, and He does not place the same importance on the events in our lives as we do. Some things that seem all-encompassing to us are only tiny blips to God. He knows that we will get through these transitory troubles, and He's focused on the long-term health of our eternal souls. God is committed to making sure we make it through, so we need to trust Him.

We are lucky to have a relationship with our benevolent creator. Whether times are good or bad, God is with us, and that's an incredible thing. God loves us and is poised to ultimately rescue us from whatever trouble may befall us. So whether we are in peace or turbulence, our help is in the name of the Lord. I can think of nothing more wonderful than that.

Blessed be God when I am happy, and blessed be God when I am suffering. He is the same God no matter what happens in this transitory world, and His promises to me don't change. Instead of wallowing in my hardships, I must remember how lucky I am to have God with me. Because of Him, these trials can't do me lasting harm. They may even teach me how to appreciate God more.

Teamwork

2010-02-12T00:00:00.000-06:00

As we go through life, there are times when (if we are wise) we realize that we need to work with others. Because being part of a team is an important part of all of our lives, we need to know how to do it well. Below I've listed a few tips that I've learned about teamwork from a Christian perspective.

Be thankful for your teammates. Team participation doesn't always feel strictly voluntary. Still, whether or not we or our teammates really wanted to work together, we're still benefiting from each other's efforts. Every bit of work that each person does brings the entire group closer to the goal. When we feel frustrated that we can't get the job done alone, we should think about how our teammates are making it possible to do what we need (or want) to do. It's a good thing we have other people to help us when we need them.

Useful contributions can come from unlikely sources. Often when we're assembling a team, we seek out the most qualified people for the task at hand. We decide how to delegate tasks based upon our opinion of each person's abilities. Sometimes, however, we can limit the productivity of the entire group by selling some members short. I've learned that enthusiasm can be more important than talent and hard work and common sense can trump intelligence and experience. If we look at each team member generously, we will better see their full potential for contribution to the group.

It's not all about you. Even if you're the "star" or "leader" of a group, the entire work of the group is not all about you. The supporting members of the cast share in the opening night triumph, and politicians show appreciation to their staff when they're elected. When I ask friends to help me do something that won't directly benefit them, I try find ways to make them feel like they're getting something positive out of the experience (even if it's just good karma). We ought to show appreciation to our teammates and encourage them to feel a sense of accomplishment when the task is complete, no matter what part they played.

Feel some team loyalty. We shouldn't automatically bail the second things get tough. A team can make it through difficult times that one person couldn't handle alone, but if everyone quits when it gets hard there won't be a team. In addition, each member of the team both gives and receives something. Make sure you're giving something to your teammates and not just taking their efforts for yourself. If your team succeeds, it probably won't just be because of you. Feel proud of yourself, but give them some credit too.

I work in teams of all shapes and sizes, in both my professional and my personal life. Right now I'm working with others to produce several publications at my job. I belong to two musical groups. I am coming together with others to help a friend plan a special event, and I'm even doing mundane things like working with my husband to balance our household budget. Some teams, like my marriage, are small. Some are large—like the staff of more than 500 who works for my employer. Some are intimate and some are businesslike. Sometimes I'm the team leader, and sometimes I just do grunt work. Some of the projects I accomplish with the help of a team are big and important, but sometimes they're just little things. Sometimes I work in a team to accomplish tasks I could technically do alone, just because I find it more enjoyable to work with others.

Teamwork is an essential part of my life. It allows me to do things I couldn't do on my own and provides a different dynamic even to simple tasks. I feel blessed that I have people in my life who are willing to work together with me. It's great that my efforts can be multiplied when I combine them with others. I want to be sure to properly appreciate the opportunity to work with others and to treat my teammates with respect.

Insha'Allah

2010-02-11T00:00:00.000-06:00

It is a Muslim tradition to use the term "Insha'Allah" any time one talks about future plans. The words mean "God-willing" or "if it is God's will". The Qur'an instructs Muslims to always consider the will of God when they make plans for their lives because they need to recognize that God's will trumps any of their ideas about how their lives should unfold. By saying "Insha'Allah" on a regular basis, Muslims remind themselves of God's role in their lives.

While we Christians do not always explicitly state that our plans are subject to God's will, we too need to be reminded that that's the case. In his epistle, the apostle James wrote, "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.' "(James 4:13–15)

I get reminded of this fact frequently. Every time I think I know where my life is going and start to plan accordingly, I seem to get a surprise. Somewhere in this jumble of careers, homes, money, hobbies, and loved ones there is a master plan for my life, but I don't always know what it is. When I was a child, my plan was to live on the farm where I grew up forever. I wanted to buy or inherit it from my parents and live a long and happy life there. I didn't. We sold that farm my senior year in high school, and the new owners have transformed it into a different place. Later I had plans about marriage, family, and careers, but those plans haven't always worked out. My life is becoming radically different from what I might have imagined only a year ago.

These kinds of surprises upset a lot of people, but I'm getting used to them. It's not always so bad when my life deviates from my plans. Even things that feel like failures or disappointments at the time can turn into new paths that lead me in exciting directions I never imagined possible. I'm OK with change, and it's all right with me when my well-laid plans don't work out. I'm going to be fine because there IS a plan that's still in place—God's plan. I know He's looking out for me, even when it seems like my life is going haywire.

So tomorrow, if God wills, I will post another blog entry, go to work, ice skate, attend a rehearsal, and spend time with family members. With God's help I will go forth and explore the amazing array of possibilities that my life has to offer.

Denial

2010-02-10T00:00:00.000-06:00

Scandals are all around us. We live in a world of infidelity, embezzlement, Ponzi schemes, performance-enhancing drugs, and domestic disputes. We see selfishness, deceit, greed, and cheating all the time. There's corruption and heartache everywhere, and yet we still feel surprised when it hits close to home. We Christians are supposed to be the "good people" right? We're not supposed to be stained by the same sin that infects all those other Godless people. Yet, the evidence is to the contrary. We do sin, all the time.

I've learned that the world is not divided into good people and sinners. Maybe we're not all murderers, armed robbers, or promiscuous sex addicts, but we all share the same sinful tendencies from which these crimes stem. I myself get unreasonably angry, behave selfishly, and entertain lustful thoughts about people other than my husband. If I say that I'm a completely different person from all the criminals and jerks out there, then I'm in denial. I make mistakes both large and small, and some day I may do something that I never imagined myself capable of. I have to understand that I am a flawed human being, and sometimes those flaws assert themselves alarmingly.

I was surprised last year when my nuclear family was split apart by divorce. I knew there were relationship problems and I'm well aware of divorce statistics. So why was a surprised? Maybe I had convinced myself that divorce doesn't happen to people who've been married a long time or that my loved ones were too smart to be unable to work it out. It just couldn't happen to my family because we were somehow supposed to be different. Basically, I was in denial. I had to wake up and realize that life isn't that simple. Divorce isn't limited to stupid, stubborn people any more than criminal acts are limited to sociopaths. All of us get into messes that we can't work out on our own. I can either look at the people struggling around me and condemn them for their mistakes, or I can consider my own failures both past and future and pray fervently for all of us to receive mercy.

I don't want to be like the Pharisee in Jesus' parable (Luke 18:9–14) who stood on the temple steps and congratulated himself on being a completely different person from the lowlife tax collector groveling in prayer beside him. I know that the pharisee and the tax collector are both sinners, and I know that I am too. Yes, I am disappointed when scandal breaks out and heartbroken when it strikes close to home, but what right have I to condemn? My sins may be different, but I am intrinsically no better than any of other sinners around me. Without God, I would be completely enslaved to my basest urges. Even with God's help, I have done more damage than I could possibly pay for on my own. Even if I could convince myself that I was less sinful than everyone else, in reality I would still be a sinner.

I don't want to live in denial about my sins or the sins of the people that I love, because then I would miss the opportunity to pray for mercy. I will not pretend to be clean just to make myself feel better. I want to actually be clean, and I can't do that on my own. God have mercy on us all.

Only God

2010-02-09T00:00:00.000-06:00

There are a lot of really special people in my life whom I love dearly. Each of them adds something unique to my life, and I am a better, happier, and more complete person because of their love and contributions. Still, if I am being realistic, I must realize that no matter how much I love all of these people (or how much they love me), none of them is perfect. There isn't one person in this world upon whom I can depend completely, 100% of the time, in any situation. Every person I love will eventually fail to be there for me at a time when I feel I need them, and each of them will hurt me now and then through mistakes or even small bouts of selfishness. In fact, I will also wrong them from time to time, and there will be a bit of sadness to punctuate the happiness in our relationship.

As good and loving as my friends and family members are, they just aren't perfect. Because of that, they will sometimes fail me. These occasional hurts do not mean that our relationships are worthless. I highly value the times that my loved ones do come from me and the joyful moments when they exceed all of my expectations. Still, knowing as I do that they cannot say and do the right thing every time, I need to have a back up plan. If I cannot count on the people I love most to have my back every time I get into trouble, then upon whom can I depend? As a Christian, I believe that is precisely the reason I need God.

God is the only friend I have who will always have the right answer, always act in my best interests, and always be there no matter what happens. God's patience cannot be warn out by my mistakes, and God will not be swayed by the weak (and sometimes sinful) human emotions to which my friends, family, and I fall prey. God is never too busy to listen to my struggles or too fed up with my pathetic humanity to be sympathetic. He loves me even when I'm being unlovable, and He knows what's best for me even when the situation seems convoluted to everyone else.

Sometimes I will have to be alone in this world, and then I must be able to rely on God. Even if all the people I love and cherish are powerless to help me, God will be my help. As much as these people love me, God can do what they cannot, and that is why I love Him first and above all. I have many loved ones, and I cherish them all—but I have only one God.

Being Right vs Being Righteous

2010-02-08T00:00:00.000-06:00

Our egos can get us into a lot of trouble by convincing us that we need to be right all the time. We're afraid that conceding the validity of a viewpoint that differs from our own (even if that concession doesn't necessarily mean we are "wrong") will destabilize our very foundation of self-confidence and self-sufficiency. Unless we're intentionally seeking out someone else's opinion, we all too often want nothing to do with other people's ideas. We need to be right, and we need to do things our way. If anyone challenges that, we'll defend our right to be right like a mother bear defends her cubs. We'll fight and argue over tiny points of minutiae just to prove that we're right, whether the topic at hand really matters or not.

Being right is not what Christian living is all about, however. God wants us to be righteous, not right. Being righteous means willingly following God's commands, and He has instructed us to love Him and to love one another. Yes, knowledge can be helpful to a Christian, but a loving and generous heart is much more important. During Jesus' time on Earth, the chief priests, scribes, and Pharisees were all very learned about the Hebrew Bible and God's law, and yet they were unrighteous in their opposition of Jesus. They did not help anyone but simply sought to raise themselves above the populace by being "right". All too often, believing that we must be right gives us a feeling of self-righteousness that is in serious opposition to true righteousness.

God doesn't necessarily want us to always know what's right. He wants us to admit that He knows better than we do and to follow Him with trust and humility. After all, Adam and Eve fell because they ate the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Had they simply followed God, they would not have needed to know the difference between right and wrong because God would have guided them in righteous paths. God also doesn't want us to argue with each other about who's right. He wants us to work together as His servants in the world. Our disagreements frequently distract us from our true mission, and if we put our differences aside we often find that they do not inhibit our ability to do God's work nearly as much as our arguments did. Sometimes there is nothing to gain by arguing about who's right, because such arguments may never be resolved. Some issues are opinions and not facts, interpretations and not provable certainties, and we could spend the rest of our lives debating them. Or we could decide that it doesn't matter whether we're right or wrong so long as we are doing our best to follow God and love our neighbors.

Occasionally we argue with others about who's right because we really and truly care about the issues. More often, it seems, we just fight because our ego demands that we come out on top. In those cases, we need to stop feeling so insecure and realize that God (and our loved ones) value us whether or not we're right. If someone else proposes an idea that could work, sometimes it's best to defer to that person out of love instead of fighting to the bitter end because our own ideas might be slightly better. If people who love us are trying to help you us an endeavor, maybe we shouldn't criticize their work just because they aren't doing things precisely the way we would. The fact that people want to work together and that they love and respect each other is far more important from a Christian perspective than whose plan gets used or who gets recognized for having good ideas.

When it comes down to it, I would much rather be an idiot with a kind and trusted master and loving friends than an infallible genius living in isolation. Being right will not necessarily teach us about love, and trusting in ourselves to be right may even lead us away from God. Being righteous means that it's OK if we're not right all the time—we just need to keep God ever before our eyes and continue to care about the people who are working through the right and wrong answers just like us. I think it is a much more joyful things to be righteous than to be right.

Nice People

2010-02-05T00:00:00.000-06:00

I just want to take a moment to express my appreciation for nice people. When I say "nice people" I don't mean people who aren't mean or rude. I'm talking about the people who go out of their way to be nice, who surpass the neutral non-offensive stage into the downright pleasant stage. I want to thank people who make a conscious effort to say and do nice things entirely for the benefit of other people. I really appreciate these gestures, even when they're small. They cost so little, and yet they can make a big difference in my life.

Below are some nice people I've encountered recently whom I'd like to recognize.

The two people at last Sunday's church potluck who offered me advice on pursuing publication for my book
The lady at the gas station who saw me trying to figure out how to open the gas tank door on the car I was borrowing and came over to tell me to look for the lever at the base of the driver's seat
The friend who lent me the car in the first place
The people who took it upon themselves to tell me they enjoyed my singing at a recent church service
Every single person who has smiled at me while passing me on the sidewalk this week, despite the fact that it's freezing out and we're mostly concentrating on getting to our destinations as quickly as possible
The friends who told me I looked nice in the dress I was trying on in a boutique on Saturday
My workout buddies who provide jokes and banter that help distract us all from the fact that our muscles are screaming
A group of my colleagues who are raising lots of money for their polar plunge team (they get sponsored to jump in a freezing lake, and the money benefits the Special Olympics)
The coworkers who stop by my desk to say hello and see how I'm doing on their way to a meeting with my boss
My husband who turns the outside light on for me when he knows I'm coming home late
The friends who voluntarily share food and beverages with me when I'm hanging out at their house

I remember all of these things because they made me smile. These people decided to take some sort of friendly or generous action just for the sake of improving my day, and their efforts worked marvelously. These little things not only make me happier, they also encourage me to be a nice person myself and to pass along the positivity. It doesn't really cost me much to go a little bit out of my way to be nice, and the benefits are so enjoyable. Having the power to improve someone else's day is a gift for the giver as well.

So here's to nice people. Keep it up!

Dealing with the Mundane

2010-02-04T00:00:00.000-06:00

My life is miraculous for several reasons:

I was created by a loving God who knows me inside and out and who cares about me. Though I am one of millions, I am not an anonymous speck in an uncaring universe. I am known and loved.
My life is not an exercise in blind chance. God has given me a destiny and a future. He has a plan for my life and gives my existence meaning.
I have been forgiven from my sins and will not have to pay the price for my foolhardy and wayward choices. God sent His beloved son to atone for my sins and to lead me back to salvation, and so I have been rescued, just like a princess in a fairy tale.
God has put many wonderful people into my life, without whom I would doubtless be lost. He has also given me specific talents, tools, and resources that allow me to reach my true potential.

This list could go on, but you get the idea. The world around us is full of miracles—trees that bud in springtime, serendipitous encounters, inexplicable medical recoveries, and helpful intuitions. Sometimes I wonder why I don't always find myself in constant delight, like a child in an enchanted forest, when I consider all the amazing things that God makes possible in my life and throughout the world. And yet, sometimes these ordinary miracles seem dull, and my life—inspired though it may be—seems like a boring trudge through the mundane.

Objectively, it is true that my life is simultaneously both ordinary and wonderful. Even though all of the miracles I listed above are real, I still have a relatively tame daily routine. There doesn't seem to be anything all that miraculous about things like brushing my teeth, cleaning my house, cooking dinner, or going to work. That's because I do these things all the time, so they bore me. There are other people who would consider fresh water, a sturdy roof, healthy food, or a steady job nothing short of a Godsend. Boredom is inevitable for all of us, no matter what type of life we lead, because each of us has to deal with repetition.

Just because I get bored sometimes doesn't mean my life stinks. All the people I might think have it better than I do—rich, beautiful, talented, or adventuresome people—still get bored the same as I do. Everyone has to deal with things that seem mundane, but those things don't have to detract from the miracles in our lives. The miracles I listed at the beginning of my post may seem ordinary, but they're still miracles. Likewise, I may get bored of my job or tired of cleaning my house, but my job and my house are still blessings in my life. I don't have to feel dissatisfied with my whole life just because I have to deal with boredom sometimes.

My life isn't over, and God has more surprises in store for me. I'll always have routines and chores that I would rather live without, but there will always be miracles and joy in my life too. Therefore, whenever I find myself getting grumpy about the mundane parts of my life, I need to remember the miracles and blessings too. They make my life worth living, boring parts and all.

Well-Qualified Candidates Need Not Apply

2010-02-03T00:00:00.001-06:00

When Jesus performed a miracle in Peter's fishing boat as a prelude to calling Peter, James, and John to be his disciples, Peter fell at Jesus' feet and said, "Go away from me, Lord—I am a sinful man!" (Luke 5:8) By declaring himself unworthy, Peter was following in the footsteps of some notable prophets. Immersed in a vision of God's glory, Isaiah declared, "Woe to me! I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty." (Isaiah 6:5) When God told Jeremiah he was destined to be a prophet, Jeremiah protested, "Ah, Sovereign LORD, I do not know how to speak; I am only a child." (Jeremiah 1:6) Moses was famous for trying to argue his way out of his calling at the burning bush. Moses argued that he was a nobody and that no one would believe him. He even brought up a speech impediment. But God showed Moses miracles to prove that nothing was impossible for Him. (Exodus 3:1–4:17)

It seems odd from a human standpoint that God would choose all these unqualified people to do His work. God chose David, least among Jesse's sons, to be Israel's most famous king. He gave Joseph the power to interpret dreams when he was nothing more than a betrayed and imprisoned slave. The list goes on and on. And yet all of the unqualified people that God selected were able to do the tasks He set before them. God does not need to choose well-qualified candidates because He makes His servants qualified Himself after He has chosen them. If we feel smugly capable, we deceive ourselves. On our own we can do nothing, and all of our talents and skills are simply gifts from God. When we realize that we are seriously under-prepared and unworthy to do the righteous things God asks of us, then we are ready to receive the divine assistance that can make our success possible.

Consider Paul. When his name was still Saul, he already was an extremely well-educated Biblical scholar and a very intelligent man. Even as Saul prided himself on these qualifications to serve God, he persecuted God's servants. Only after Saul had been confronted by Jesus himself and was left terribly ashamed of his mistakes was he ready to truly serve God. Paul knew that his history of enemity with God's faithful servants should have disqualified him from joining their ranks, but God made it possible. God then went on to use Paul, this former tyrant, to spread the Gospel to thousands of people.

I myself am woefully unqualified to be a child of God. My heart harbors all kinds of sin—jealousy, deceit, spitefulness, anger, and arrogance, to name only a few. I mess up even when I know better, and I often find myself a slave to my emotions. I don't even feel qualified to be God's servant. I don't know how to properly use my talents. I don't know how to get other people to listen to the good ideas I do have, and I feel that I fall short even in my strong suits. None of that really matters, though. I am not God's beloved daughter because I deserve to be—I am because God makes it so. Likewise, God will make it possible for me to accomplish the tasks He sets for me, no matter how unlikely my success may seem by human standards. After all, if God could transform all these unqualified people into Biblical heroes, there are no limits to what miracles He can work in my life.

Setbacks

2010-02-02T00:00:00.000-06:00

I like it when things are easy. It's true that I don't want a boring life of lazy complacency, but it's nice when the endeavors I undertake work out well. It's wonderful when everything just sort of falls into place, when it seems like it's meant to be. I like feeling capable, and I enjoy making progress. Not all of my projects are so simple, however. Often there are struggles and challenges and setbacks. I don't win every time, and sometimes I have to struggle against difficult deficits.

It can be tempting to just give up when we face setbacks. We might feel that the we've undertaken a bigger task than we can handle or that the difficulties mean that God doesn't support our endeavor. Sometimes those assumptions could be correct, but I don't think they are universally true. A difficult task is not necessarily a lost cause. Sometimes God sets us tasks that challenge the limit of our abilities and endurance. When I work out, I challenge my muscles to work as hard as they can and push myself to the limit so that my base strength will gradually increase. If I didn't challenge myself, I would not grow. From this point of view, setbacks don't have to mean doom—sometimes they are even blessings in disguise.

Consider Moses. God sent Moses to Pharaoh to demand the release of the Israelites. In the beginning, Pharaoh refused. Perhaps Moses wondered if God was really with him or began to doubt whether his supernatural experience had really happened. In the end, Pharaoh's stubbornness only made God's triumph more spectacular, so that all the people throughout the land heard about Moses and the people and what God had done for them. Jesus himself was nearly thrown off a cliff by his own neighbors in Nazareth, but he went on his way and continued his ministry. Later, the apostles were imprisoned and beaten, but they didn't give up. God brought them through these hardships and they continued to preach and teach in the name of Jesus.

Of course, all of our endeavors don't necessarily seem so clear-cut. It's easy to believe that God is with us and will help us when we've received a clear commission directly from Him. But what about our daily lives, as we struggle to do what's right and good in His name? Is God with us then? Will we prevail through the hardships? The general answer is that sometimes we will and sometimes we won't. When we face these struggles, it is vitally important for us to pray for God's will to be done in our lives. If God means for us to succeed, then our prayers open us up to receive His aid. Sometimes our prayers may lead us to the conclusion that God is giving us permission to relent, that He has other work for us to do instead. In times like those, there is no shame in walking away from a failed endeavor so that we can apply our time and talents to other work of God's choosing.

Whether we persevere or taste defeat, God is always with us and He is proud of the efforts we make on His behalf. Our struggles may be difficult, but God will be there to help us succeed when that is His plan or to redirect our efforts when He has something else in mind. Either way, our struggles are worthwhile and appreciated. Each time we face a setback, we have the chance to grow in character into stronger and more resilient Christians. Therefore, we are not forced to view setbacks as failures—we can still profit from them.

Multiply Life By the Power of Two

2010-02-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

Once, when I was 19 years old, I stood knee deep in a lake in Ireland, looked up at the beautiful mountains before me, and wished that I could just go up into those mountains and live with God forever. I had an aching longing to be with God and no one else, to escape the interpersonal entanglements that burdened me. That is not the only time in my life when I have felt that I could be happy spending the rest of my life with nobody but God. Sometimes I get so frustrated with the people I love that I've asked myself if it's worth it to keep trying to make these interpersonal commitments. Maybe it would be better to just be a crazy hermit or something.

Most of the time, however, I know better. Wise King Solomon wrote, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:9–11) How well I know these words to be true!

The first few years of marriage were a little tough for me. There were a few times when I got really upset and had long arguments with God about why He had saddled me with my husband. Was my marriage really worth all the problems I had to deal with in the beginning? Eventually I learned just how valuable it was to have a husband who would stick with me no matter what, even if he was a little annoying sometimes. The issues of marriage are worth dealing with because I also get a companion to pick me up if I fall, a warm body to snuggle up to on cold nights, and a partner who helps me fend of my adversaries. I've even discovered that this lesson isn't limited to marriage. Those friends who can be difficult and the family members who confuse me sometimes still bring so much good into my life. They're worth all the effort I expend to make them a significant part of my life.

Every relationship I have is special, and each person in my life makes me stronger. Two is better than one, but that means that I need lots of people in my life, because I can't just be with one person all the time. Even my husband isn't constantly by my side, so I need other people to be my partners sometimes. Each person has the power to support me, to make me feel warmer and more secure, and to take away my fear when I'm faced with a challenge. As long as I have relationships in my life, I never have to face an obstacle alone. I can multiply my own power by the person who is with me. Occasionally I still get the urge to leave everyone behind so that I can just be with God, but then I remember that those people are gifts from God intended to bless my life. I am strong with God as my allies, but I am even stronger with my loved ones on my side too.